Options when one cannot afford a lawyer?
 

Hi all,

A very good friend of mine is being screwed over by her ex-husband AND
the court system. It's utterly mind-boggling to me and really
frustrating! It just makes me so angry.

She's a really great mother and is struggling to keep things together,
and her ex has nothing better to do than to try and do everything he
can to make her more miserable. He does not pay his child support. He
refuses to take them to the doctor, but he insists on keeping them on
his insurance plan which is the bare minimum plan that you could have.
My friend wants to switch the kids to her health insurance plan which
is the best one available, but she can't because they are employed at
the same company and he will not relinquish the kids from his account
and double coverage is not allowed.

Every month he takes her to court to get his child support decreased.
He does nothing for the children. In fact, he only has 85% custody. He
is still trying to do everything he can to claim at least one of them
on his taxes.

The people in child support services are completely incompetent and it
seems that everyone, including court judges automatically favors the
father in all this. I have reason to believe that this is partly
because my friend is a foreigner and her ex is a white-bread American
with a high-powered job. My friend has constantly been told, "You are a
terrible mother. The kids NEED their father in their lives." He could
care less about his kids." The courts have made numerous rulings in
favor of the father saying that their rulings are "in the best interest
of the children".

At first, I wanted to believe that this guy had some sort of compassion
in him; I wanted to believe that he loved his children and maybe was
just misguided and a little too self-indulgent to put the needs of his
children first rather than his own. I now believe that he is nothing
less than a monster and I am saddened that people like him exist.

I am an idealist and would love to have faith in our justice system,
but after seeing all that my friend has gone through for the past eight
years just makes me ashamed to be an American.

Sorry for my incoherent ranting. To those of you that made it through
this far, I guess the point of my message is that I would love some
advice on figuring out what my friend's options are. She can no longer
afford a lawyer and I feel that she needs someone or something that can
help her get through this. She and her children are being yanked around
and it's just NOT RIGHT! I would love to help her, I just have no clue
where to begin.

Any ideas?

Thanks so much. I'm really glad that I discovered this group.

Regards,
-V

Don't feed the troll, folks.

- Ron ^*^


V wrote:
Hi all,

A very good friend of mine is being screwed over by her ex-husband AND
the court system. It's utterly mind-boggling to me and really
frustrating! It just makes me so angry.

She's a really great mother and is struggling to keep things together,
and her ex has nothing better to do than to try and do everything he
can to make her more miserable. He does not pay his child support. He
refuses to take them to the doctor, but he insists on keeping them on
his insurance plan which is the bare minimum plan that you could have.
My friend wants to switch the kids to her health insurance plan which
is the best one available, but she can't because they are employed at
the same company and he will not relinquish the kids from his account
and double coverage is not allowed.

Every month he takes her to court to get his child support decreased.
He does nothing for the children. In fact, he only has 85% custody. He
is still trying to do everything he can to claim at least one of them
on his taxes.

The people in child support services are completely incompetent and it
seems that everyone, including court judges automatically favors the
father in all this. I have reason to believe that this is partly
because my friend is a foreigner and her ex is a white-bread American
with a high-powered job. My friend has constantly been told, "You are a
terrible mother. The kids NEED their father in their lives." He could
care less about his kids." The courts have made numerous rulings in
favor of the father saying that their rulings are "in the best interest
of the children".

At first, I wanted to believe that this guy had some sort of compassion
in him; I wanted to believe that he loved his children and maybe was
just misguided and a little too self-indulgent to put the needs of his
children first rather than his own. I now believe that he is nothing
less than a monster and I am saddened that people like him exist.

I am an idealist and would love to have faith in our justice system,
but after seeing all that my friend has gone through for the past eight
years just makes me ashamed to be an American.

Sorry for my incoherent ranting. To those of you that made it through
this far, I guess the point of my message is that I would love some
advice on figuring out what my friend's options are. She can no longer
afford a lawyer and I feel that she needs someone or something that can
help her get through this. She and her children are being yanked around
and it's just NOT RIGHT! I would love to help her, I just have no clue
where to begin.

Any ideas?

Thanks so much. I'm really glad that I discovered this group.

Regards,
-V

Excuse me??

V wrote:
Excuse me??

"He does nothing for the children. In fact, he only has 85% custody."

Come on. You won't fool anyone with this.

- Ron ^*^

That was a mistake and I would think that would be obvious had you read
the rest of my message. My friend has 85% custody and the father has
15%. I believe that he sees them two weekends a month.

I would appreciate an apology from you.

Thanks.

"V" wrote in message
oups.com...
That was a mistake and I would think that would be obvious had you read
the rest of my message. My friend has 85% custody and the father has
15%. I believe that he sees them two weekends a month.

I would appreciate an apology from you.

Thanks.

I have to say, V, I wondered about that, too. My question would be: Does
he have 15% custody voluntarily? Or is that what was forced on him? Does
he take the children during his 15% of the time?

"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"V" wrote in message
oups.com...
That was a mistake and I would think that would be obvious had you read
the rest of my message. My friend has 85% custody and the father has
15%. I believe that he sees them two weekends a month.

I would appreciate an apology from you.

Thanks.

I have to say, V, I wondered about that, too. My question would be: Does
he have 15% custody voluntarily? Or is that what was forced on him? Does
he take the children during his 15% of the time?
====
I wondered about the part that says he files to lower child support every
month.
That's gotta be pricey.
====
====

Thanks for responding, teachrmama.

The 15% wasn't forced on him. He used to have 50% custody, but
gradually started giving up more and more of his time to pursue other
interests such as travelling around the world with his girlfriend.

He makes TWICE as much as my friend and he keeps taking her to court
every few weeks to get the support reduced more and more. Initially,
she was paying HIM which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
But she fought and fought and after two years they finally ruled that
he should pay her instead. It's unfortunate that back pay isn't allowed.

It IS pricey. But he has the money AND his number one goal paying my
friend back, (which he has admitted to in the past). Paying her back
for what, we're still not sure. He has everything he wants. New woman,
new house, new car, great job. I don't get it :(

It IS pricey. But he has the money AND apparently his number one goal
is to pay my friend back (which he has admitted to in the past). Pay
her back for what, we're still not sure. He has everything he wants.
New woman, new house, new car, great job.

Why would he use his kids like this to get back at his ex-wife? I don't
get it :(