16 yr old daughter's first boyfriend
 

Hello,

I am a single parent of a 16 yr old daughter. She is by far an
extremely smart, loving, responsible kid --- but lately she has changed
a bit. She started working for the first time this summer where she
met this kid she now calls boyfriend (BF). She is 16, going to be a
junior and he is 18, recent graduate. She asked if she could start
dating this kid so I told her not until I was to meet him, which I did.
He seemed ok to me so I allowed her to have her first BF, laid some
rules down (but no specifics) and began to worry. Right off the bat,
after a few days of dating we get into a HUGE fight because she has a
small red mark on her neck, a HICKEY to be precise, which I (like
usual) blow up and tell her to quit her job and stop dating this boy.
She begins to cry like I've never seen her cry so ofcourse this is also
hurting me... what do I do, I make more rules and allow her to continue
seeing this boy. Some time later I find out this kid hangs out with a
23 guy which makes me uneasy, tells me that her BF is trying to grow up
fast because he has graudated and 18. I at this point do not allow her
to leave and hang out with him alone, she can only see him if he comes
here to the house. Later one evening I get her cell phone, which I
never do, and she jumps and pleads with me not to look at her pictures,
which her uneasy behavior made me want to look even more, and I find a
picture the her BF sent her of his PENIS!!! I lost it, yet again, and
told her she was not allowed to see him again. Right now she has been
crying and becoming increasingly depressed and it hurts me to see her
so sad, but I am afraid of this kids intentions. Did I over re-act,
should I lay down more rules and continue to allow them to see each
other, should I stick to my guns and stop this relationship? Please
help I am not feeling good (health wise) because I feel like what if I
am over re-acting that maybe if I had a father figure around this would
not be happening. She is embarrassed for me to bring this up to my
family for advice but they that leaves me not being able to talk to
anyone about this, which is killing me inside. HELP!!!!