4 year old wetting pants.
 

I am at my total wits end. So please for giveme if this rambles a bit. My
dd is 4 years old and has taken to wetting her pants.. She had quite a while
where we were doing GREAT we were even having quite a few dry nights .. so
much that she was wearing panties to bed rather than training pants.
But recently things have taken a drastic change. I have a feeling it's
related to dh going out to sea and ds being born in Dec. I have tried giving
her more attention, time outs you, loss of prilidges, treating her for
going, you name it.. nothing works it's almost like she doesn't care. I
don't know what else to do.

Example. SHe would go with me to all my pre natal appointments, One in
particular she wet herself on the way there. I changed her, and went in. As
we were waiting to be called she said she had to go, so we went to the
bathroom an she went. Then while we are in with the doctor, she doesn't
bother even saying anything and proceeds to wet her pants not even 20 mins
after I had just taken her to the bathroom ..

I have had to take to putting her in pull ups when we go run errands or else
I would have to take numerous changes of clothes; which to her seems to be
permission just to go ahead and pee since she doesn't feel it. Not that we
pants seems to bother her too much either.

I have even caught her intentionally pulling down her pants and going on the
floor just so she wouldn't get in trouble for getting her pants wet. So I
know she knows when she has to go. Granted our only bathroom is upstairs but
this is gettiing rediculous.

I have no idea what to do. PLEASE HELP!!

Kylee

4 year old wetting pants.
 

In article ,
"kylee" wrote:

I am at my total wits end. So please for giveme if this rambles a bit. My
dd is 4 years old and has taken to wetting her pants.. She had quite a while
where we were doing GREAT we were even having quite a few dry nights .. so
much that she was wearing panties to bed rather than training pants.
But recently things have taken a drastic change. I have a feeling it's
related to dh going out to sea and ds being born in Dec. I have tried giving
her more attention, time outs you, loss of prilidges, treating her for
going, you name it.. nothing works it's almost like she doesn't care. I
don't know what else to do.

Example. SHe would go with me to all my pre natal appointments, One in
particular she wet herself on the way there. I changed her, and went in. As
we were waiting to be called she said she had to go, so we went to the
bathroom an she went. Then while we are in with the doctor, she doesn't
bother even saying anything and proceeds to wet her pants not even 20 mins
after I had just taken her to the bathroom ..

I have had to take to putting her in pull ups when we go run errands or else
I would have to take numerous changes of clothes; which to her seems to be
permission just to go ahead and pee since she doesn't feel it. Not that we
pants seems to bother her too much either.

I have even caught her intentionally pulling down her pants and going on the
floor just so she wouldn't get in trouble for getting her pants wet. So I
know she knows when she has to go. Granted our only bathroom is upstairs but
this is gettiing rediculous.

I have no idea what to do. PLEASE HELP!!

Kylee



How about putting her back in diapers, and asking her to let you know
when she's ready to wear panties again? Not in a punative or
humiliating way, but just acknowledging that, for whatever reason, she's
decided that using a toilet is too much work right now. Having a 4 yo
in diapers is not unheard of.

Yes, this is undoubtedly related to the current turmoil in her life.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

4 year old wetting pants.
 

I have put her back in pullups, mainly for when we are out and at night. The
only thing is she won't even bother even trying to go to the bathroom. She
will just wet in the pull up till it's soaked then ask for a new one. Yet
she won't have a bm in her pants. She will hold it as long as she has to if
we aren't near a restroom .. though she has no problems wetting. I dind't
want to put her in diapers again cause I was afraid it would just basically
give her the signal that she didn't have to try any longer. Am I wrong?

"dragonlady" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"kylee" wrote:

I am at my total wits end. So please for giveme if this rambles a bit.
My
dd is 4 years old and has taken to wetting her pants.. She had quite a
while
where we were doing GREAT we were even having quite a few dry nights ..
so
much that she was wearing panties to bed rather than training pants.
But recently things have taken a drastic change. I have a feeling it's
related to dh going out to sea and ds being born in Dec. I have tried
giving
her more attention, time outs you, loss of prilidges, treating her for
going, you name it.. nothing works it's almost like she doesn't care. I
don't know what else to do.

Example. SHe would go with me to all my pre natal appointments, One in
particular she wet herself on the way there. I changed her, and went in.
As
we were waiting to be called she said she had to go, so we went to the
bathroom an she went. Then while we are in with the doctor, she doesn't
bother even saying anything and proceeds to wet her pants not even 20
mins
after I had just taken her to the bathroom ..

I have had to take to putting her in pull ups when we go run errands or
else
I would have to take numerous changes of clothes; which to her seems to
be
permission just to go ahead and pee since she doesn't feel it. Not that
we
pants seems to bother her too much either.

I have even caught her intentionally pulling down her pants and going on
the
floor just so she wouldn't get in trouble for getting her pants wet. So
I
know she knows when she has to go. Granted our only bathroom is upstairs
but
this is gettiing rediculous.

I have no idea what to do. PLEASE HELP!!

Kylee



How about putting her back in diapers, and asking her to let you know
when she's ready to wear panties again? Not in a punative or
humiliating way, but just acknowledging that, for whatever reason, she's
decided that using a toilet is too much work right now. Having a 4 yo
in diapers is not unheard of.

Yes, this is undoubtedly related to the current turmoil in her life.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

4 year old wetting pants.
 

"kylee" wrote in message
...
I have put her back in pullups, mainly for when we are out and at night.
The
only thing is she won't even bother even trying to go to the bathroom. She
will just wet in the pull up till it's soaked then ask for a new one. Yet
she won't have a bm in her pants. She will hold it as long as she has to
if
we aren't near a restroom .. though she has no problems wetting. I dind't
want to put her in diapers again cause I was afraid it would just
basically
give her the signal that she didn't have to try any longer. Am I wrong?

I imagine BM's in the Pullups would be more uncomfortable than just wetting
them and she knows it. I wouldn't worry about it all just yet. Kids have a
way of regressing when they are under stress but they bounce right back when
things are all better.

4 year old wetting pants.
 

In article ,
"kylee" wrote:

I have put her back in pullups, mainly for when we are out and at night. The
only thing is she won't even bother even trying to go to the bathroom. She
will just wet in the pull up till it's soaked then ask for a new one. Yet
she won't have a bm in her pants. She will hold it as long as she has to if
we aren't near a restroom .. though she has no problems wetting. I dind't
want to put her in diapers again cause I was afraid it would just basically
give her the signal that she didn't have to try any longer. Am I wrong?


I think it depends on how you think of using a toilet. If you think of
it as a discipline issue, so will she.

Right now, much of her life is out of her control. She can't control
the fact that Dad is gone, that she has a new sibling to contend with,
that Mom's attention is necessarily split leaving less for her (and if
you even TRY to give her ALL of your attention while you are also caring
for a newborn, you'll kill yourself!). Toileting is something that is
entirely in HER control: she decides whether and where to pee and poop.
If you make it a discipline issue, I think she may decide to hold out
for a VERY long time, and you will be forced to escalate the
consequences (either positive consequences for using it, or negative
consequences for NOT using) until she decides to go along with your
desires -- essentially, passing control for this over to you, too.

On the other hand, if you just decide to NOT make an issue of it, and
tell her to let YOU know when she's ready again, she may feel more in
control of the issue (because she WILL be in control) and she may move
back to panties sooner.

I could be completely wrong -- lord knows, I am often enough! -- but I'm
guessing that if you don't make an issue of it and don't worry about it,
she'll be back in panties soon.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

4 year old wetting pants.
 

well at this point I am ready and willing to try just about anything.
Talking to her and punishing her for it obviously isn't working.
She is even more hard headed than her mother.. and that is saying something.
It's pretty much just been a power struggle between the two of us that is
just getting worse. So you are probably right.

Should be interesting. Cross your fingers for me

Kylee

"dragonlady" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"kylee" wrote:

I have put her back in pullups, mainly for when we are out and at night.
The
only thing is she won't even bother even trying to go to the bathroom.
She
will just wet in the pull up till it's soaked then ask for a new one.
Yet
she won't have a bm in her pants. She will hold it as long as she has
to if
we aren't near a restroom .. though she has no problems wetting. I
dind't
want to put her in diapers again cause I was afraid it would just
basically
give her the signal that she didn't have to try any longer. Am I wrong?


I think it depends on how you think of using a toilet. If you think of
it as a discipline issue, so will she.

Right now, much of her life is out of her control. She can't control
the fact that Dad is gone, that she has a new sibling to contend with,
that Mom's attention is necessarily split leaving less for her (and if
you even TRY to give her ALL of your attention while you are also caring
for a newborn, you'll kill yourself!). Toileting is something that is
entirely in HER control: she decides whether and where to pee and poop.
If you make it a discipline issue, I think she may decide to hold out
for a VERY long time, and you will be forced to escalate the
consequences (either positive consequences for using it, or negative
consequences for NOT using) until she decides to go along with your
desires -- essentially, passing control for this over to you, too.

On the other hand, if you just decide to NOT make an issue of it, and
tell her to let YOU know when she's ready again, she may feel more in
control of the issue (because she WILL be in control) and she may move
back to panties sooner.

I could be completely wrong -- lord knows, I am often enough! -- but I'm
guessing that if you don't make an issue of it and don't worry about it,
she'll be back in panties soon.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

4 year old wetting pants.
 

In ,
kylee wrote:

*I have even caught her intentionally pulling down her pants and going on the
*floor just so she wouldn't get in trouble for getting her pants wet. So I
*know she knows when she has to go. Granted our only bathroom is upstairs but
*this is gettiing rediculous.

I recall my pediatrician suggesting that if my son were potty trained by
the time our daughter was born, he might revert to having lots of
accidents, or even wanting diapers, when she was born. I wonder if your
daughter is starting to want to be your baby again, diapers and all? Of
course, I am assuming your pediatrician has given you a clean bill of
physical health already.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)

4 year old wetting pants.
 

"kylee" wrote in message
...
I am at my total wits end. So please for giveme if this rambles a bit. My
dd is 4 years old and has taken to wetting her pants.. She had quite a
while
where we were doing GREAT we were even having quite a few dry nights .. so
much that she was wearing panties to bed rather than training pants.
But recently things have taken a drastic change. I have a feeling it's
related to dh going out to sea and ds being born in Dec. I have tried
giving
her more attention, time outs you, loss of prilidges, treating her for
going, you name it.. nothing works it's almost like she doesn't care. I
don't know what else to do.

Example. SHe would go with me to all my pre natal appointments, One in
particular she wet herself on the way there. I changed her, and went in.
As
we were waiting to be called she said she had to go, so we went to the
bathroom an she went. Then while we are in with the doctor, she doesn't
bother even saying anything and proceeds to wet her pants not even 20 mins
after I had just taken her to the bathroom ..

I have had to take to putting her in pull ups when we go run errands or
else
I would have to take numerous changes of clothes; which to her seems to be
permission just to go ahead and pee since she doesn't feel it. Not that we
pants seems to bother her too much either.

I have even caught her intentionally pulling down her pants and going on
the
floor just so she wouldn't get in trouble for getting her pants wet. So I
know she knows when she has to go. Granted our only bathroom is upstairs
but
this is gettiing rediculous.

I have no idea what to do. PLEASE HELP!!

Kylee



I'd not go back to nappies or pullups. If I put pullups on my son he goes
straight back to weeing in them. I'd just keep her in clothes and change
them with a minimum of fuss. Maybe a quick comment like "Oh dear never mind,
I bet that feels a bit yucky" other than that NO attention for the wetting
good or bad.

Perhaps you could get her helping change baby's nappy but still don't try to
relate it to her.

I'd give it a few weeks to see if that was working. I would be pretty near
certain that it is stress related.

Good Luck

Judy

4 year old wetting pants.
 

In article ,
"kylee" wrote:

well at this point I am ready and willing to try just about anything.
Talking to her and punishing her for it obviously isn't working.
She is even more hard headed than her mother.. and that is saying something.
It's pretty much just been a power struggle between the two of us that is
just getting worse. So you are probably right.

Should be interesting. Cross your fingers for me


BTDT.

I think one of my life's goals is to learn to avoid power struggles with
DD#2 -- who is now 18! (I AM getting much better at it . . .)

Whenever I've found myself in a power struggle with her (and they are
VERY hard to avoid!) I ask myself if it is something that really
matters. First, is it a safety issue. (Car seats, and now seat belts,
are NOT optional.) Second, is it really going to matter when she's 30?

In this case -- will it matter 26 years from now that your daughter
spent a few days, weeks, or even months reverting to wearing diapers
when her new sibling came along and life was tough for her?

Good luck, and let us know how this turns out.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

4 year old wetting pants.
 

On Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:02:18 GMT, "kylee"
wrote:

I am at my total wits end. So please for giveme if this rambles a bit. My
dd is 4 years old and has taken to wetting her pants.. She had quite a while
where we were doing GREAT we were even having quite a few dry nights .. so
much that she was wearing panties to bed rather than training pants.
But recently things have taken a drastic change. I have a feeling it's
related to dh going out to sea and ds being born in Dec. I have tried giving
her more attention, time outs you, loss of prilidges, treating her for
going, you name it.. nothing works it's almost like she doesn't care. I
don't know what else to do.

Example. SHe would go with me to all my pre natal appointments, One in
particular she wet herself on the way there. I changed her, and went in. As
we were waiting to be called she said she had to go, so we went to the
bathroom an she went. Then while we are in with the doctor, she doesn't
bother even saying anything and proceeds to wet her pants not even 20 mins
after I had just taken her to the bathroom ..

I have had to take to putting her in pull ups when we go run errands or else
I would have to take numerous changes of clothes; which to her seems to be
permission just to go ahead and pee since she doesn't feel it. Not that we
pants seems to bother her too much either.

I have even caught her intentionally pulling down her pants and going on the
floor just so she wouldn't get in trouble for getting her pants wet. So I
know she knows when she has to go. Granted our only bathroom is upstairs but
this is gettiing rediculous.

I have no idea what to do. PLEASE HELP!!

Kylee

First, make sure that there is no physical problem by taking her to
her pediatrician to check that she doesn't have a bladder infection
or something like that.

Second, *don't* punish her or reward her for her toileting behavior.
Let her change herself, but don't react to it at all if you want to
try to keep her in underwear.

My vote, though would be to ask her if she wants to be back in
diapers and to allow that if she wants to be a baby again for a
little while. It will blow over after the stresses of the new baby
are done. Meanwhile talk to her about all the things big kids can
do that babies can't manage. And involve her in helping with the
new baby. I am sure that your husbands being gone is probably
a stressor too, so keep her in touch with him if you can. Does he
have email access? He can write to her and you can read these
emails to her.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits