The Baby Inside
 

I did get lots of support from lots of places -- this forum as well. I
started posting here about a year before I got pregnant, so knew lots of
people here by the time we got the Nathan's diagnoses. I don't mind talking
about it.

The grief and pain are very dim by now, but it's something that is always
there, and colors the way that I see everything. Someone posted something,
in another ng I believe, about having their kid go off to first grade, and
not wanting to give them a hug or kiss goodbye. The subject of the post was
"Every mother's worst nightmare!" I just had to laugh, because it was by
far, the farthest thing from every mother's worst nightmare that I can think
of. In fact, knowing as many women dealing with primary infertility as I
do, I can tell you that situation is every want-to-be-mother's dream. If
that was in this ng, I hope I haven't offended anyone. It just struck me as
a "funny" situation. I'm sure to them, it was a nightmare and a terrible
thing -- to have their baby not want a kiss from mommy, but to me, having
experienced what I can easily label every mother's worst nightmare, it just
wasn't.

Anyway, thanks for the cyberhugs and support. Even 6 years down the road,
it's nice to feel that compassion from people. And yes, adoption is an
amazing thing, and I count my blessings every day. I'm so incredibly lucky
to have Taylor in my life.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clark_guest,
Password: Guest1
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Handmade Baby Blankets -- www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat/Blankets.html

The Baby Inside
 

"Kat" wrote in message
...
I too am very sad for your loss and that you went through such a horrible
experience. Hope your adoption experience is one filled with joy and
success!!
Kat
Mama to Maggie 11/03/01
and #2 EDD 02/01/04

Thanks. My first adoption experience has been wonderful. I can only hope
I'm as lucky with baby #2.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clark_guest,
Password: Guest1
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Handmade Baby Blankets -- www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat/Blankets.html

The Baby Inside
 

Jamie,
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, it must have been horrible, I hope that
your adopting experience will fill your heart :)

btw, I looked at some of your photos, Taylor looks gorgeous!!

Leanne
EDD: April 23rd 2004

Sort of. We found out at our 18 week u/s that Nathan was developing with
a
giant omphalocele -- the majority of his internal organs were in a pouch
outside his abdomen. We had an amnio to see if his chromosomes were
normal,
and went for a detailed echocardiogram, to see how his heart was doing.
His
heart wasn't as strong as they would have liked, but his chromosomes were
normal. We continued with testing, u/s, and talking to various pediatric
surgeons, and finally made the tough choice to end the pregnancy. The
more
we looked into his condition, the more small problems we found (fluid on
the
heart and lungs, twisted spine, etc), until it just became clear (for us)
that he wouldn't likely survive to term. I went through labor and
delivery
a week or so later, at about 23w4d, and Nathan was born still.

Since losing Nathan, I've had 5-6 chemical pregnancies, and 2 blighted
ovums, plus a donor egg IVF (one of the blighted ovums) and a failed IVF.
Apparently I've got an immunity issue that prevents me from staying
pregnant. I'm sort of done with the whole ttc thing, and have moved on to
adoption as the way to build my family. So unless I have an oops that
goes
well past the heartbeat phase, the chances of me having another magic
belly
moment are slim to none!

Thanks for your compassion and asking about it.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clark_guest,
Password: Guest1
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Handmade Baby Blankets -- www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat/Blankets.html

The Baby Inside
 

It has, so far. If baby #2, and the adoption experience, is anything like
the first go round, I think my heart will explode. : )
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clark_guest,
Password: Guest1
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Handmade Baby Blankets -- www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat/Blankets.html


"Leanne" wrote in message
...
Jamie,
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, it must have been horrible, I hope
that
your adopting experience will fill your heart :)

btw, I looked at some of your photos, Taylor looks gorgeous!!

Leanne
EDD: April 23rd 2004

Sort of. We found out at our 18 week u/s that Nathan was developing
with
a
giant omphalocele -- the majority of his internal organs were in a pouch
outside his abdomen. We had an amnio to see if his chromosomes were
normal,
and went for a detailed echocardiogram, to see how his heart was doing.
His
heart wasn't as strong as they would have liked, but his chromosomes
were
normal. We continued with testing, u/s, and talking to various
pediatric
surgeons, and finally made the tough choice to end the pregnancy. The
more
we looked into his condition, the more small problems we found (fluid on
the
heart and lungs, twisted spine, etc), until it just became clear (for
us)
that he wouldn't likely survive to term. I went through labor and
delivery
a week or so later, at about 23w4d, and Nathan was born still.

Since losing Nathan, I've had 5-6 chemical pregnancies, and 2 blighted
ovums, plus a donor egg IVF (one of the blighted ovums) and a failed
IVF.
Apparently I've got an immunity issue that prevents me from staying
pregnant. I'm sort of done with the whole ttc thing, and have moved on
to
adoption as the way to build my family. So unless I have an oops that
goes
well past the heartbeat phase, the chances of me having another magic
belly
moment are slim to none!

Thanks for your compassion and asking about it.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clark_guest,
Password: Guest1
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID
and
Password

Handmade Baby Blankets -- www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat/Blankets.html