"lenny fackler" wrote in message
ups.com...
I'm definitely bringing my own perpective in because it's the only one
that I have the authority to speak about.
I have 2 happy healthy kids and my relationship with my wife is good.
I'm 100% sure I don't want any more kids. She's a little less sure.
I'm trying to picture her being so insistent on having another baby
that she would break up the marriage.

Could you imagine her being so insistent on having the first or the second
baby that she would have broken up the marriage over it? If you can, then
you are deluding yourself to believe that just because you have two happy,
healthy kids, her desire to have another child could not be just as
overwhelming as her desire to have the first or the second. I'm not saying
that it *is* that overwhelming, mind you, just that the fact that you
already have two children doesn't have to play into the equation at all.

It certainly would have nothing
to do with any definition of family values that I can think of.
Lifestyle is broad though. What type of lifestyle would this be
consistent with?

Some people have family values and/or lifestyles that involve having more
than two children. In some cases, a *lot* more than two children. For some
people, having a large number of children may be a religious imperative, as
well. One would hope that a couple would both have the same desire for a
large family and/or the same religious imperatives, of course, but people
can and do change in the course of a marriage.

I'll be honest: I have a far harder time understanding the position of the
partner who is dead-set against having another child than the position of
the partner who really wants that other child. Maybe that's because, even
when my husband I decided we wouldn't be having any more children, we still
want more children. But once you have children, having more children doesn't
change anything essential: whether you have more or not, you're still
parents with children!

At the same time, I feel the wishes of the partner who doesn't want another
child take precedence over the wishes of the partner who does.

But I can see how the views of a spouse who wants more children and a spouse
who does not could collide and result in what is commonly called, in the
industry, "irreconcilable differences". IOW, it winds up being more a matter
of the world views of the partners no longer meshing than about having a
another child.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Mr. Congeniality (7), the Diva (5) and the Race Car Fanatic (3)

I have PMS and ESP...I'm the bitch who knows everything! (T-shirt slogan)