--
[Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have
custody of such child]
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
............................
=====
I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids.
When
he
moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to
him
as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a
beater
pickup
that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived
at
his house, he and his
then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if
we
were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce
should
not
divvy up children.* Ever.


How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court
order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two
or
four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for
graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of
supporting himself.
===
In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex
and
I so travel/money
simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully
chosen
the man I wanted to father my kids
and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them
a
dad. There wasn't any,
"I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him
every
day or every weekend.
We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count,
however.
When my ex later moved
in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles
and
we met halfway with the
kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a
part
of my relationship with him.
The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the
time
our younger son had to
go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I
both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas.
Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for
the
boys. I owed them that.



If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he
lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement
out, but she is in school,

....and being in school is MORE important than being with her father. If ONLY
they had schools where the father lives.

and I have a job. In my situation, it is
simply not feasible.

--

Sarah Gray