On Nov 14, 5:39 am, "Gini" wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote

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I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids. When
he
moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to him
as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a beater
pickup
that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived at
his house, he and his
then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if we
were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce should
not
divvy up children.* Ever.

How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court
order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two or
four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for
graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of
supporting himself.

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In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex and
I so travel/money
simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully chosen
the man I wanted to father my kids
and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them a
dad. There wasn't any,
"I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him every
day or every weekend.
We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count, however.
When my ex later moved
in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles and
we met halfway with the
kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a part
of my relationship with him.
The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the time
our younger son had to
go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I
both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas.
Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for the
boys. I owed them that.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

and I owe my kids a nuclear, solid, happy family unit with two parents
in the home, married and together....they, do not deserve any less
than that....I carefully chose my husband knowing we, together could
provide that! My kids needs outrank, ours...that is why we are not
exes...