"L.A." wrote in message
oups.com...
Hi all...

I don't know what to do about this, but I find I'm getting unreasonably
angry at 2yo DS who refuses to go to the potty. He had been doing very
well, but suddenly decided the potty is his enemy. We've tried moving
it into the living room because he doesn't like to be isolated in the
bathroom for any length of time. But now as soon as the word "potty"
comes up, he starts shouting "NO POTTY!" I don't know why the sudden
abhorance towards it. Anyway, every day I calmly ask him if he needs
to go poo in the potty. Every day he politely says "No, tank you
Mommy." Then he poos in his pants. I know he knows what the potty is
for...he's used it with success in the past. I know he knows his
body's signals, because he goes off by himself to dirty his diaper.
He'd just prefer to go in his pants. Ususally, DH just takes him in
the bathroom and cleans him up. But if I have to do it, I find myself
getting really mad at him. I end up speaking sharply to him, saying
"That's dirty...you're supposed to put it in the potty!" He gets upset
when I chastise him, and the whole thing is just a disaster. I know
it's not helping him move towards using the potty, but I can't seem to
contain my anger and disgust over such a silly thing. Maybe it's the
hormones, (I'm just about 36 weeks). But I'm at my wit's end with my
stinky big boy, and dreading having two in diapers. Anyone have
advice?

Thanks.
L.A.


Keep in mind I don't have kids yet, but I am a social worker for children so
I've met a _lot_ of kids. Sometimes "potty phobia" can be a result of a bad
experience on the toilet, usually painful constipation or a large stool
(ouch!). Sometimes even having the water splash back up can be too
startling. If he's going in his diapers, he probably isn't still
constipated (if he were, you could try apple juice, etc). But, in his
limited experience, he might have learned that going on the potty hurts or
is scary, but diapers don't/aren't. Rewards may work, as could
"demystifying" the toilet, letting him play with it or just sit on it while
reading him a book with no expectations of doing anything.
I did have one parent who solved this problem by letting her daughter flush
cheerios, etc over and over again so the toilet became fun, but I can see a
major potential for that backfiring (where's mommy's jewelry? No, not the
cat!).
Just some thoughts...hope you solve the problem soon!
Amy V.
EDD 11/25/05