"Rambler" wrote in message
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xkatx wrote:
"Rambler" wrote in message
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Father of the Year wrote:

new to group. What is a deadbeat dad?

it is usually somebody who has been flailed to a ninch of their life by
being accused of being insensitive to their child's needs while in fact
they are struggling to put food on the table for themselves whilest being
commanded to make good sized (for their incomes) support payments.


No, not always. That sure might be the case sometimes, but other times a
deadbeat parent could be just that. Sometimes a deadbeat parent just
doesn't feel they need to live up to their parenting responsibilities.
That's not always meaning money wise. I would consider a deadbeat parent
as someone who just does nothing. I'm sorry, it doesn't take much money
to spend some time with your own child and show them love and that they
are, in fact, a human being. There's a lot of 'parents' - both mothers
AND fathers - who just don't give a damn. It goes both ways, but it
seems that you just hear about the dads more than the moms. There's
selfish parents both ways, and it's not fair to say that every parent who
cannot afford to support their children is a deadbeat. It does go so
much further than that, because there's also lots of parents who choose
not to help with their children and have more than enough means to
survive well, while helping out financially with their children.
Support payments are only a part of a child's needs.


I typically refer to it as "Beat Dad Dead" in my affidavits, and yes, the
ex has thrown that term around to everybody, kids included.


I don't agree with that. I, personally, believe whatever I think and
feel negatively about my ex stays to myself, or to the ears of MY
friends/family without the ears of my children around. I have never once
said a single negative word about my sons' father for them to hear, nor
have I ever said anything negative to someone who would pass my words on
to them. There are a lot of parents, as well, who do the same, and then
on the other hand, there are some who have no problem insulting their
child's other parent and vocalize whatever anger they may have. I do
believe, in every way possible, that this is so wrong and unfair to the
child, even more to the other half of that child.

Always two sides to a coin. My ex would evidently be the opposite side of
the coin to you.

but leaving you and me out of it, the studies that I have heard of and
read indicate that a very small minority of fathers don't pay the child
support ordered when they fully have the means to. The vast majority of
no-payors are those that cannot afford it due to either unemployment,
health or an order being set outside of their earning potential. Those
that pay what they can *are still* labeled deadbeat dads.

Flip that around a second, not according to you and me, but according
again to the studies I have read and heard of. The vast majority (89%?)
of custody decisions go to mothers, which means the vast majority (89%) of
child maintenance payors are fathers. Out of the 11% of mothers who are
supposed to be paying child support, a much greater number (over 30% comes
to mind) are "dead beat Mom's" than are the fathers (1 to 2%) who are
"dead beat Dads," yet you don't hear the phrase "Dead Beat Mom" do
you?snip

But those are just the studies.

Rambler

And they are accurate.
V