wrote:


My husband and I have already decided that our kids will be allowed to
choose one activity per semester - one lesson, one club, one class
outside of school. If they are able to do so in a way that doesn't
inconvenience the rest of the family, they can choose to pick up Scouts
or something too. We are not going to be one of those families who
never has dinner together because the kids are always at practice or
lessons or whatnot. It's a choice, not a requirement.

While I agree with you in principle, it isn't always
that easy to follow through on this. For it to work, you assume
that your kids will either jump about from activity to activity
(doing something different each semester) or will focus on just
one activity exclusively (doing the same activity over and over).
Most kids in my experience want to keep doing things they enjoy.
With sports it's easier, as most of them have seasons, so you're
only doing the sport during part of the year (until and unless you
get more devoted to the sport, in which case training needs start
to go year 'round). But, most kids who want to play a musical
instrument will do that *all* year, with the corresponding need
for lessons and related activities. Will that, then, be the
*only* thing your child does? What if your child also would
like to do a sport or some other physical activity? Do you want
to discourage something that can help your child's health and
physical development because he or she is already playing an
instrument and has maxed out on activities? Or do you interrupt
the music lessons (and impede natural progress) to accommodate
a sport?
While there are lots of cases of obvious overscheduling,
it is possible for a family to get overwhelmed very quickly
(especially with lots of kids) even if each child isn't doing
all that much. Plus, you add in things like excessive homework
or the practicing that goes along with music lessons or whatever
else, and what seem like small commitments become large commitments.
Add to that the fact that how these things are organized has changed
a lot in many areas--there may not be late busses or it may not
be possible for a child to safely bike to school or activities.
And, with more families with two parents working outside the home,
activities have *become* the place where lots of kids interact
with their friends (who are otherwise unavailable due to after
school care or other activities).
And, of course, heaven forbid your child should become
very devoted to any activity in particular, as that typically
turns into a monster all its own. Travel soccer (or most any
other sport) can eat a family alive. Music can run you into
the ground between school music groups, youth orchestra, private
lessons, band camp, etc. Like dance? Every few years you're
adding another weekly class.

Best wishes,
Ericka