"Scott" wrote in message
...

My wife and I have an 8-year-old son, and a 5-year-old daughter. My
wife would like a third. There are times when my wife accepts not
having a third, but she'll frequently find herself wanting another.
She is worried she'll regret not having another one, and the ones we
have are growing some quickly.

We had our third when dd#1 was 7 and dd#2 was 5. I asked dd#2
recently, and she said she did resent not being the 'baby' anymore
when dd#3 came along. I haven't asked dd#1.

We always intended to have 4 except that dh said if the first three
were girls (which they were) we couldn't afford 4 girls. So if there
was any disagreement between us, it would have been whether I wanted
any children or not. It didn't occur to me to express that doubt, so
I went on ahead and was happy to have children.

There are some women however who really like babies. A friend of my
mom was really a new baby person - she loved visiting people with new
babies. My own mom said she'd like to have a 3 month old around all
the time. I know another lady who had a hysterectomy who said her dh
didn't like it when she held people's babies because she'd want one
for herself.

It sounds like that is your wife's situation because you say that she
worries that she will regret not having another one because they grow
up so quickly.. Maybe it is just that she really likes little
babies/toddlers. I was not in that situation - I preferred the kids
when they were older.

I also don't know how much this has to do with your wife's age and
perhaps approaching menopause. . Some women get quite broody, and
lose confidence as this time approaches. I know two younger women -
one wanted to have her first child before she was 30 (and she barely
made the deadline), and the other got married at 40 so she could have
a child.

As much as I try, I can not come to terms with having a third. I try,
but for a variety of reasons, I don't want another one, but I worry
about my wife.

Does your wife know what your concerns are? If they are monetary,
something can always be worked out.

If it is that you DON'T like little babies as much as you like the
older kids, and your wife just loves little babies, maybe you could do
as a friend of mine did - she took foster babies while the court was
figuring out how to place them. (She had two older children, and then
one that was about 10 years younger, and then she adopted one of the
foster babies that was about the same age.)




grandma Rosalie