"Liz S. Reynolds" wrote

That sounds on the low side to me, from what I've read, and what my dr
said, 25-35 is recommended for a normal weight woman, and only someone
very
heavy at the outset should aim for 20.

I definitely don't qualify as "very heavy", I guess I am just worried about
gaining too much, though. Truthfully, it's not "a friend" who told me her
doctor said not to gain more than 20--- it's my mom! She is making me feel
very very self conscious....normally I feel ok about myself, but pregnancy
has made me touchier for sure, and people are getting to me. Some of My
cousins are in 30's-40's and have never even had babies- one was pretty
overweight for most of her life but recently went to a clinic where they
measure your food by the ounce, and lost a lot of weight....all of my family
is so caught up over weight (I have an average family, a lot of thin and
avergae and some overweight...just average)... I find myself avoiding family
functions and being around people because of the way they do over weight..I
was always very thin and still self conscious over my weight because I grew
up in a household where you were scrutinized for your weight....I thought I
was over that, but being pregnant has made me start worrying about weight
again. But, people have said things--- the perfect example, my mom telling
me not to gain more than 20 pounds. (My mom has always been overweight, and
weighed a good bit more than me)....people are really making me feel
uncomfortable. This is one thing that my husband, for all of our problems
and arguments, NEVER ever does....that is the one thing about my husband. He
does not EVER make bad comments about my appearance or weight, he is very
encouraging in that way. Even in our worst disagreements and arguments where
I have even felt like leaving, he never ever ever says anything other than
that I look good. He's honest, he will tell me that I am starting to show
but if I mention being worried about weight he wil scold me "YOu are
Supposed to gain! Don't worry about it. You will lose it and if not I love
you anyway".

That's why I get so mad at the way my family is being over my pregnancy...I
heard someone making snarky remarks like "Oooh, she is going to gai so much
weight!" How do they know, its like they want me to! But the most affecting
is my mother......she talks about how big my boobs are, and gives me diet
tips and tells me to exercise so I won't gain as much and tells me her
doctor says not to gain more than 20, etc. She tells me she gained 30 with
me because she let herself go, but gained less than 20 with my brother and
that was good. Every time I talk to her she ask me what I weigh and I refuse
to tell her, and she tells me I need to start watching it!