'Kate wrote:
On 18 Jul 2006 15:16:08 -0700, "miri" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

can I drivel on a bit more?

What irritates me most is that I've entertained his friends
I've never been impolite with them, when he was here I offered
to cook and clean if he wanted throw parties, if he wanted me
out when at the weekend when the match was on. Ok I get
the picture its my abode, my residence, he moved in from his
creamy little pad but probably never felt at home, but why spend
more and more time at the home of his best mate and his wife?
Hell ! its about time I remembered that I'm not an effing charity! -
the odd knobs I've taken under my wing and fed and cared about
(male and female, one of my mottos is always be kind to people,
one of my friends put it another way "always be kind to people
when you're on your way up.....you never know who you
might meet when you find yourself going down!")

What irritates me most, is that he gossips about my
neighbours to me. He doesn't even live in the area, but he's
there telling me about what they've been up to. Pub culture!

He's the mistake........ 'so and so and his commonlaw have split
after 15 years. Everything was fine - suddenly she goes on the
internet and ends up arm in arm with a strange shifty looking guy,
parading him around, What a heartless bitch! So and so has
worked his nads off for those kids! Miri don't you agree that's
dreadful?'

What I saw....commonlaw running the house while her brother
ferries the kids to school and back, in fact its very rare I actually
saw So and so with his kids, even though he has been a provider
par-excellence. One of the wonderful things he provided was a
holiday residence.....which he invited me to stay at, without his
commonlaw or the kiddies for a weekend (nudge,nudge, wink,
wink say no more love) gasp in amusement NO! NEVER!

They're both very nice people, and the kids are brilliant. I have
nothing more to say on the matter because I have no contact
with either them or the children. I just couldn't tell anyone about
his invitation, nor will I ever. He was just ****ed.

I live here damn it! I wasn't ever invited to their parties, but B
was, then he tells me later! what have I ever done wrong to that
guy? Huh!

signed

miserable

People who make you feel bad time after time are not worth keeping in
your life. I'm going to quote someone that I never thought I would
quote, Laura Bush, who said, " Every human being deserves to be treated
with dignity and respect, and every human being deserves to feel the
nurturing power of love."

Unfortunately, you have to put up with him... but you don't have to put
up with being treated disrespectfully or without consideration. When
your ex says something negative or hurtful, ask him, "What do you mean
by that?" or "Why are you telling me this?"

There's a two fold reason for asking: He may just be an insensitive lout
who is unable to take responsibility for his actions (or inactions) or
you may be perceiving what he says as hurtful because you're on your
guard.

Be open to figuring out what is really happening in the moment. When you
feel it, identify what the cause was. If they're your issues, then
great... at least you can work on that on your own. If they're his, then
you can limit your conversations with him to the weather and the kids.

Do you think this will work for you?

You have been so kind for my poor hurt feelings, you're a love.
I could blub for an hour. Ahh I just had to vent, I had to, I felt like
I was being used. Its just life nothing less.

Theres gonna to have to be certain rules laid down here, it wasn't
in my book to hurt anyone elses feelings, they should give me the
same passing thought.

The good news is my diet is going well, and I have a date at the
weekend someone to dress for, something different to see, another
adult to chat to face to face someone elses mind to explore and dreams
we might share. Maybe

luv

Miri