Bryony:

Thank you for your response. Yes, the word "swat" was a trigger word.
Swat means hit or smack and I do not believe in hitting a child at any
time for any reason. However, I believe in physical contact. Touching
the child's shoulder, making eye contact, etc. are all important
disciplinary strategies that get the child's attention without hitting,
hurting, or shaming.

I believe that parents have the responsibility to give children the
tools to be successful in life, and pain, disrespect, and shame have no
place in a parents repertoire.

I don't even like the word "discipline." I prefer "guidance" because
that is what parents should be doing -- guiding children towards making
good choices in life rather than hitting, hurting, and shaming them for
their mistakes along the way.

LaVonne

RebekahGirl wrote:
oh i do so understand, and i have not been a spanking parent, i could
not do it. i would go and run to my room and cry cause i could not.

its been an issue in my life and in many Roloff Cult survivors who
struggle with finding a balance and learning that spanking is not a
very effective tool.

when i say a mild swat, i mean that. like a tap on the shoulder and or
a slight gentle nudge to them as a reminder to them to listen to the
voice that loves them. as a shepherd would do in a gentle fashion with
a sheep. to me the image of a gentle shepherd is an image that shows
the aspect of parenting that helps guide children along this wierd
life. a world where upside down things are promoted as rightside up.
its a crazy world we live in and there is not much to help young ones
to be safe and guided thru the worst of it.

i do NOT mean spanking with a belt or a board!!! i do not agree with
that, and i dont see spanking of a child like bending them over your
knee as helpful or wise. That does not send a correct message to the
child. its about the message the child gets. that to me is the key that
determines what course of discipline one takes to help a child adjust
to what is good and wholesome.

its like teaching, you guide a child and teach them adn show them how.
if you were to sign up for a class on something you would have to be
guided and taught, and corrected when you did not get it right. But
that correction is not there to create pain it is there to help the
child or adult to learn and adjust to the right thing. to get things
correct.

i believe in gentle firm correction and guidance and never ever ever
shaming a child when they are going in the wrong path, but to help them
feel loved and accepted and help them readjust thier steps to something
more healthful to them.

if a gentle 'swat' or nudge helps them, then it is sending them the
right message, that i care enough for them to take some time to listen
and recorrect them. and how they are doing things.

i am sorry if i used the wrong trigger word, not what i meant
i got spanked MUCHO as a smalll child, with a belt by my dad, and it
only sent ONE message to me: SHUT UP AND GO AWAY

so to me its about WHAT IS THE MESSAGE BEING SENT and then not only
that, but also WHAT MESSAGE DOES THE CHILD ACTUALLY GET????

Good Luck to you and thank you for posting back,

Bryony~~