On Tue, 22 Jul 2003 10:20:36 GMT, wrote:

Cele wrote:
I don't think you can expect much from 'the system'.

What? Oh, Nooooo!

I'm screwed. LOL.

Heh.

Whatever's gone wrong before is over, it's written, it's
done. You can't affect it. Walk away from it. Work on the now. It's
all you can do. For him and for yourself.

And be well.

What is it with people who can not see that history repeats itself unless
you actively seek to stop the cycles?

Lotta ways to stop a cycle, though. Participating by fighting back is
still participating. It enables abusers. Gives 'em something to abuse.
Only way to stop an abuser is to remove the object of abuse, near as I
can tell. But what do I know? :-)

I've been in therapy so much that it
is just so clear to me that my son saw me be abused as a child so that is
what was role modeled for him and now he is acting that out as he becomes a
man. Also, he is reacting to me as I only know how to live with a man from
a victim's stand point, I have lots of male friends that I keep at a
distance but living with one is a different story.

Sounds about right.

You can't just "let it
go" or "forget about it" or "put it in the past" abuse isn't like that.

Didn't say that. Said you can't *affect* the past. You can only
*affect* the future. So that's what you do.

History isn't like that. Time isn't like that. If only it were that
simple. But it isn't, it is very convoluted.

It doesn't matter what history's like. It's a textbook. You can read
it and learn, or not, but you can't change it. So read, learn, change
the future. What else is there?

The rest of your post was
right on, depressing though, as I was really hoping "the system" was going
to save us. damn.

Well, should I turn out to be wrong, do let me know. I wouldn't mind
saving here, either. LOL

Cele