"Janet" wrote in message
...
Why would I want to encourage this? As I said before she is having to
see a therapist because she is having emotional problems related to
change. Any change in her routine sets off a crying fit. It will not
help her to be forced to go with someone that she doesn't want to
see.

I would not be surprised to find that the child is only reacting to the
parent's attitude.

I thought they used the best interest of the child to determine
these things?

No matter what excuse is used, it is never about the best interests of
the children but almost always about money, power or both.


Her father was just someone that I had a brief fling with. We didn't
really care that much about each other and we both understood that. If
he is such a caring father then where was for the first 6 years of her
life? He could have found me if he wanted.

Did he even know he was a father? Besides, you seemed perplexed that he
suddenly wants a relationship with the child but fail to notice that
you, just as suddenly, want money.

Now just because I asked
for some help with the kid that he is halfway responsible for all of a
sudden he wants to act like hes a real dad to her.

IOW, you just want the money. What happened to the best interests of the
child?

She doesn't even
like him.

Which may be because of YOU and your attitude.

She got along fine without him all this time and now he
shows up disrupting her life. Is that fair to her?

Not only fair, but also in her best interest.

Do the courts
really think it will be in her best interest to have her being dragged
out of the house by someone she doesn't like and just barely knows?

And in a few weeks, she'll know him. Eventually, she'll come to love him
in spite of your attempts to prevent her having a father.

That seems like child abuse!

Preventing a child from a loving relationship with their parents
(plural) is abuse.
I can't wait to hear the parts we haven't been told.
Phil #3



On Wed, 6 Dec 2006 06:12:16 -0800, "teachrmama"
wrote:


"Janet" wrote in message
. ..
My exboyfriend and I had a little girl in 1999. He took no interest
in
her until I filed for child support a year ago. Now that I filed for
support he wants to see her all the time. She is very uncomfortable
around him and I have my doubts about him as well. I just got a
notice
of a hearing for him wanting to establish forced parenting time! She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
Can he just come in and take her out of here that way? She is seeing
a
therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him. I told him he could see
her
over here but he says that isn't good enough. Is there any way I can
stop him? Will the court make her see him? I can't bear the thought
of
her being dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. It will
break my heart. Would they really allow that to happen?

It's going to be up to you to make this easy for her. The judge
almost
certaily will assign him time with his chld. So you need to start
talking
about all the wonderful things little girls can do with their fathers.
Talk
to him, and arrange for the 3 of you to start doing some things
together--go
out for a hamburger, go see a movie, etc. Laugh with him, talk with
him.
Let HER see what a nice man he is. (You obviously did more thatn
laugh and
talk at one point in time, or she wouldn't be here) Let her see the
man you
cared enough about to create her. YOU have the power to help this
happen
without trauma. Be a loving mother to your daughter and help her get
to
know and love her daddy.