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Old December 9th 06, 03:52 PM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
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Posts: 2,421
Default How to stop him?


"teachrmama" wrote in message
...

"Janet" wrote in message
...
Why are you attacking me like this? I'm only concerned about my
daughter. You call me a whore and say I'm screwing around with
everyone. Instead of reading your OPINIONS into my situation try to
read what I posted!

Again, my ex has NOT been told he can't see her. The only thing I've
said is that she is not ready to go with him alone. I've told him he
can see her whenever he wants. She has already told me that she
doesn't want to be alone with him. Why is that so hard to understand?
The therapy she is going to is for an anger problem that is unrelated
to my ex. She has been lashing out at everyone, not just him. If he
comes here to get her she will be kicking and screaming. Do you think
that is good for a child to be forced? She DOESN'T want to see him
here so how is it going to help to just have her dragged out of the
house? That is your answer? She's already suffered enough. She doesn't
like changes like that.


Janet, your daughter NEEDS to learn to accept change. She will be a
terrribly UNHEALTHY person if she cannot do that. YOU have the power to
help her. YOU! Think about her in the long range instead of just right
now. Think about what her life is going to be like if you don't teach her
HOW to accept changes. You can go with her to see her father other places
than just your home. You can SHOW HER how to have a good time with him by
HAVING A GOOD TIME WITH HIM YOURSELF. You need to be her example in this.
I'm sure she senses your reluctance, and that is forming a part of her
attitude. Show her how to put aside the reluctance and take that first
step. You are the only one that can make this easier for her. I know you
love her. Her father will always be a part of her life. HELP her with

this
instead of trying to find ways to keep it from happening. She will be
healthier and happier in the long run, and she will have her father, which
every child deserves.


You don't REALLY think she buys this, do you?




Now if you have a helpful answer fine. In the meantime you need to
quit judging someone you know nothing about!

On Thu, 7 Dec 2006 11:56:18 -0700, "Mr. Anonymous"
wrote:


"Janet" wrote in message
. ..
Why would I want to encourage this? As I said before she is having to
see a therapist because she is having emotional problems related to
change. Any change in her routine sets off a crying fit. It will not
help her to be forced to go with someone that she doesn't want to
see.I thought they used the best interest of the child to determine
these things?

Translation:
Why would I want my daughter to know her father? As I said before, I
successfully ruined my life and my daughters life when I acted like a
whore
and screwed every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Now I have my paycheck here,

and
I
want to collect without any issue. It doesn't matter that I ruined my
daughter's life, she'll get over it, just pay me already. I thought
mothers
had more rights in court when determining these things?


Her father was just someone that I had a brief fling with. We didn't
really care that much about each other and we both understood that. If
he is such a caring father then where was for the first 6 years of her
life? He could have found me if he wanted. Now just because I asked
for some help with the kid that he is halfway responsible for all of a
sudden he wants to act like hes a real dad to her. She doesn't even
like him. She got along fine without him all this time and now he
shows up disrupting her life. Is that fair to her? Do the courts
really think it will be in her best interest to have her being dragged
out of the house by someone she doesn't like and just barely knows?
That seems like child abuse!

Translation:
I'm a degenerate whore who wants all the thrills and none of the
responsibility. I can justify my stance as a whore because sex is a
two-some thing, and he did it too, so that justifies my screwing around
with
every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Now, 6 years later, I'm ready to cash in, I
sure fooled him!! He thought I was out of his life, now since I'm

smarter
than him, I get to collect!! During these last 6 years, I had

everything
planned. I taught my daughter to hate men, how to collect from them,

how
to
screw them, and I have successfully ruined her life for my own selfish
wants. Now, that I am trying to collect, I find it unfair that this is
not
a one sided battle. I just want my paycheck, why does he have to fight
with
me? Why doesn't he just go ahead and give my all his money and leave me
and
my ruined daughter alone? Doesn't he know that his plans to spend time
with
his daughter is totally disrupting my plan for a free ride? This has to
be
child abuse, because I don't like it.


On Wed, 6 Dec 2006 06:12:16 -0800, "teachrmama"
wrote:


"Janet" wrote in message
m...
My exboyfriend and I had a little girl in 1999. He took no interest

in
her until I filed for child support a year ago. Now that I filed for
support he wants to see her all the time. She is very uncomfortable
around him and I have my doubts about him as well. I just got a

notice
of a hearing for him wanting to establish forced parenting time! She
hardly knows this man. She doesn't even like seeing him at my house.
Can he just come in and take her out of here that way? She is seeing

a
therapist for emotional issues and I'm afraid that this will set her
back if she is forced to go visiting him. I told him he could see

her
over here but he says that isn't good enough. Is there any way I can
stop him? Will the court make her see him? I can't bear the thought

of
her being dragged out of the house kicking and screaming. It will
break my heart. Would they really allow that to happen?

It's going to be up to you to make this easy for her. The judge

almost
certaily will assign him time with his chld. So you need to start
talking
about all the wonderful things little girls can do with their fathers.
Talk
to him, and arrange for the 3 of you to start doing some things
together--go
out for a hamburger, go see a movie, etc. Laugh with him, talk with
him.
Let HER see what a nice man he is. (You obviously did more thatn

laugh
and
talk at one point in time, or she wouldn't be here) Let her see the

man
you
cared enough about to create her. YOU have the power to help this
happen
without trauma. Be a loving mother to your daughter and help her get

to
know and love her daddy.