Allowance

Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old
enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way
that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do
any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about
donating a portion of their money?

Thanks in advance!

In article .com,
"MsLiz" wrote:

Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old
enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way
that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do
any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about
donating a portion of their money?

Thanks in advance!


I did not put limits on my kids' use of their allowance -- I figured it
was THEIR money.

Looking back, however, I'm not sure it was the right choice. My kids'
money management skills bite.

I had one friend who gave her kids their allowance in 3 parts: one part
went into long term savings, and could only be used when a certain
minimum amount had been saved, and was to be used for something big.

One part went into a fund that was for donating to worthy causes, and
the kids sat down about once every 3 months to decide where to give the
money.

One part was to use however they wanted to use it.

Her kids seem to be developing better money management skills. On the
other hand, this is only anecdotal, and my kids aren't old enough to
know for sure about how this will work in the REAL long run.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

MsLiz wrote:
Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old
enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way
that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do
any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about
donating a portion of their money?

We do have some limits on how it can be spent - my stepson is not
allowed to buy candy when it can impact the rest of us.

So, not at movies, and not big bags of it that he keeps around. Other
than that, there are no limits to how he can spend it.

Cathy Weeks

On Wed, 10 Aug 2005 19:17:24 GMT, dragonlady
wrote:

I did not put limits on my kids' use of their allowance -- I figured it
was THEIR money.

Looking back, however, I'm not sure it was the right choice. My kids'
money management skills bite.

I didn't with my ds, either and in hindsight, wish I had. He has a
very hard time managing his finances.

I had one friend who gave her kids their allowance in 3 parts: one part
went into long term savings, and could only be used when a certain
minimum amount had been saved, and was to be used for something big.

One part went into a fund that was for donating to worthy causes, and
the kids sat down about once every 3 months to decide where to give the
money.

One part was to use however they wanted to use it.

I think the above is something I'll try with my last 2. Can't hurt,
compared to the first one ;-)

Nan

In article ,
dragonlady wrote:


In article .com,
"MsLiz" wrote:

Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old
enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way
that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do
any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about
donating a portion of their money?

Thanks in advance!


I did not put limits on my kids' use of their allowance -- I figured it
was THEIR money.

Looking back, however, I'm not sure it was the right choice. My kids'
money management skills bite.

I had one friend who gave her kids their allowance in 3 parts: one part
went into long term savings, and could only be used when a certain
minimum amount had been saved, and was to be used for something big.

One part went into a fund that was for donating to worthy causes, and
the kids sat down about once every 3 months to decide where to give the
money.

One part was to use however they wanted to use it.

This is more or less what I do with my kids, except that they usually
donate their "donating" money weekly at Sunday school. We also have a
category for gifts, where they save money explicitly for buying gifts
for family members (for birthdays, Chanukah, etc.) They enjoy having
money to spend that way and giving gifts that they bought with their
own money. (They still make a lot of gifts too.)

I think that they do seem to be developing decent money management skills.

One thing I have done is after a few years of my dictating their "budget",
I have let them set up their allowance breakdown however they chose. For
the most part, they have stuck with something similar to the arrangement
that we started with, but instead of me forcing them, it is by their own
choice.

--Robyn

On 10 Aug 2005 11:44:29 -0700, "MsLiz" wrote:

Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old
enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way
that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do
any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about
donating a portion of their money?

Thanks in advance!

I believe in keeping allowances as children's discretionary money to
be spent in whatever way they choose to spend it.

As they got older, I gave them a budget of money that they could
spend on school supplies with some extra for discretionary
spending. It was their responsibility to budget it in ways that
helped them to have what they needed for school and extras they
wanted for themselves. We generally discussed the amount
(started with school lunches and bus fare when they were old
enough to take the city bus to school, etc.). My ds often walked
and saved his bus fare for buying baseball cards. My dd often
packed her own lunch from home and saved that money for
extra accessories, junk jewelry, toys or music. This started when
they were between 8 and 10.

When they were teens, they also got a clothing budget and they
were allowed to keep any additional funds they saved from that
to spend as they liked.

As a consequence of this, both my kids were thrifty shoppers and
savers and had no trouble when they went out on their own in terms
of staying within their incomes.

As for requiring charitable donations, we did community service
work instead. My son coached chess and soccer for free with
the park district and the schools, my daughter did many different
service projects with girl scouts. While it's good to give money
to charity, I think actual work for the community makes more of
an impression on kids and both of mine donate on a regular basis
to charities of their choice now that they are older and have more
income.

In terms of limits on what they could purchase, we never had any,
nor did we need them. The kids learned early that some things
were not worth the money they spent (they bought toys that broke
quickly or that bored them after a short time and found out that
advertisements were not a way to know that things were great to
purchase) and they never were into anything that I found offensive.
It they had been into violent video games or something, I would
have discussed my objections with them, but it was their money.




--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

In article ,
toto wrote:

As for requiring charitable donations, we did community service
work instead. My son coached chess and soccer for free with
the park district and the schools, my daughter did many different
service projects with girl scouts. While it's good to give money
to charity, I think actual work for the community makes more of
an impression on kids and both of mine donate on a regular basis
to charities of their choice now that they are older and have more
income.

What has been interesting to me is to listen to the discussions in the
family that requires charitable contributions. The kids and parents
talk about the different organizations and what they do, and research
which ones spend more (or less) money on fundraising and administrative
expenses. By the time these kids reached their teen years, they were
much more savy about non-profits than most kids are. The parents don't
limit what organizations the kids give to -- though it would have been
interesting to see if the kids had selected an organization that the
parents found totally unacceptable!

The family ALSO donates time (both parents are quite active, and as a
result so are the kids).

For me, at least, watching this family use this as a tool to teach about
charitable giving has been fascinating. If I'd seen the example when my
own kids were younger, I think it would have made a difference.

Only one of these kids is earning her own money at this point, doing
some babysitting. She sets 10% of her income aside to add to her
charitable donations.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

toto wrote:

On 10 Aug 2005 11:44:29 -0700, "MsLiz" wrote:

Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old
enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way
that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do
any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about
donating a portion of their money?

Thanks in advance!

I believe in keeping allowances as children's discretionary money to
be spent in whatever way they choose to spend it.

As they got older, I gave them a budget of money that they could
spend on school supplies with some extra for discretionary
spending. It was their responsibility to budget it in ways that
helped them to have what they needed for school and extras they
wanted for themselves. We generally discussed the amount
(started with school lunches and bus fare when they were old
enough to take the city bus to school, etc.). My ds often walked
and saved his bus fare for buying baseball cards. My dd often
packed her own lunch from home and saved that money for
extra accessories, junk jewelry, toys or music. This started when
they were between 8 and 10.

When I was in school, I walked to school. It was only about 3 blocks
and while riding the street car would have been possible, it would
have actually meant that I would walk farther in addition to costing
more money. Whenever my kids have ridden a bus, it has been a school
bus and they didn't cost anything to ride so that even if it had been
safe to walk, they wouldn't save any money.

Basically I am also against school lunch being included in the
allowance. I always felt that I would rather provide either the lunch
or the money to eat lunch (whichever they wanted me to do) as part of
my job as a parent and that it shouldn't be part of the discretionary
money.

I did have one child who refused to eat lunch in hs - it didn't matter
whether I packed her a lunch or if I gave her money, she refused to
eat (and she does not have and never has had an eating problem except
for being a little bit picky).

I also felt that I should be buying school supplies. Of course I
lived in a place where the kids could not safely walk to the stores to
buy anything, and I hate to shop, so I did very little of it.

When they were teens, they also got a clothing budget and they
were allowed to keep any additional funds they saved from that
to spend as they liked.

As a consequence of this, both my kids were thrifty shoppers and
savers and had no trouble when they went out on their own in terms
of staying within their incomes.

I think it is a mistake to attribute a child coming to be a thrifty
shopper and handling money well with allowance handling by the
parents. Ditto the parent blaming themself for not requiring whatever
it might seem to be that would cause a child to be a spendthrift. It
might help, but as I said before, I think that thrift and planning is
hardwired into the kid.

As for requiring charitable donations, we did community service
work instead. My son coached chess and soccer for free with
the park district and the schools, my daughter did many different
service projects with girl scouts. While it's good to give money
to charity, I think actual work for the community makes more of
an impression on kids and both of mine donate on a regular basis
to charities of their choice now that they are older and have more
income.

My own allowance as a kid was based on my expenses. I had girl scout
dues, and a Sunday school envelope and other expenses and my allowance
was just enough to cover these things plus maybe 25 cents extra..
These were things that I *had* to pay. (Although I guess I could have
stiffed the Sunday School and no one would have known, but it never
occurred to me.) I never had much more than enough to buy a turkish
taffy on the way home from school sometimes. I didn't think of my
allowance as anything that I really had any control over. So I never
saved for anything specific that I can remember.

In terms of limits on what they could purchase, we never had any,
nor did we need them. The kids learned early that some things
were not worth the money they spent (they bought toys that broke
quickly or that bored them after a short time and found out that
advertisements were not a way to know that things were great to
purchase) and they never were into anything that I found offensive.
It they had been into violent video games or something, I would
have discussed my objections with them, but it was their money.

I do agree that if the child gets an allowance, then whatever they buy
with it should be up to them, at least when they are older. At the
beginning, they do need some guidance, but with the goal of increasing
independence. Even if the child makes bad choices. I will say that
when my dh found beer in the trunk of ds's car when ds was about 17,
he confiscated it, and told him he could have it back when he could
drink legally.


grandma Rosalie

MsLiz wrote:

Just want some input here. Do those of you who have children old
enough to be getting allowance, allow your children to spend it any way
that they choose? Are there limits about what they can purchase? Do
any of you insist on putting some money in the bank? How about
donating a portion of their money?

We're not very consistent about allowances, but when we
do them, the expectation is 30 percent for spend (few restrictions),
30 percent short term savings (to get something bigger that they
want), 30 percent long term savings (college) and 10 percent
charity.

Best wishes,
Ericka

In article ,
Rosalie B. wrote:

Basically I am also against school lunch being included in the
allowance. I always felt that I would rather provide either the lunch
or the money to eat lunch (whichever they wanted me to do) as part of
my job as a parent and that it shouldn't be part of the discretionary
money.

I don't see a problem with a parent making bought lunches part of the
child's discretionary spending. Bought lunches generally (depending on
subsidies, not always!) cost more than bringing lunch from home. I feel
it is my job as a parent to provide my child with lunch, but not necessarily
spring for whatever he wants for lunch. If he wants a more expensive lunch
from the school cafeteria than what I can make him reasonably at home, I
would expect him to pay the extra. I would probably make a deal where I
would kick in $X per day that he didn't bring lunch from home, if he let
me know in advance so I didn't buy extra cold cuts, for example, that would
go bad if they weren't used. (I am putting this as a hypothetical right
now because my oldest won't be attending a school with a cafeteria for
another 2 years.)

I also felt that I should be buying school supplies. Of course I
lived in a place where the kids could not safely walk to the stores to
buy anything, and I hate to shop, so I did very little of it.

Again, I spring for that they need, they pay for what the "want" above
and beyond that. If their needs can be met by a $10 binder and they
want a $20 one -- I'd make them pay at least part of the extra cost.

As a consequence of this, both my kids were thrifty shoppers and
savers and had no trouble when they went out on their own in terms
of staying within their incomes.

I think it is a mistake to attribute a child coming to be a thrifty
shopper and handling money well with allowance handling by the
parents. Ditto the parent blaming themself for not requiring whatever
it might seem to be that would cause a child to be a spendthrift. It
might help, but as I said before, I think that thrift and planning is
hardwired into the kid.

Nature versus nurture is an age-old debate, but I'm pretty sure there are
aspects of both involved. I've seen people change from one extreme to
the other as adults, so clearly it is not all hardwired.

I do agree that if the child gets an allowance, then whatever they buy
with it should be up to them, at least when they are older. At the
beginning, they do need some guidance, but with the goal of increasing
independence. Even if the child makes bad choices. I will say that
when my dh found beer in the trunk of ds's car when ds was about 17,
he confiscated it, and told him he could have it back when he could
drink legally.

Must've been majorly skunked by then ;-)

I think it's reasonable to have some limits on what may come into the
house -- if you have a philosophical objection to toy guns, for example,
your kid doesn't suddenly get the right to buy one because he has his
own money. It is his money to do with as he pleases, *within* the bounds
of house rules (and the law). I also sometimes restrict when my kids may
buy candy, or at least when they are allowed to eat candy they buy, even
if they buy it with their own money.

--Robyn