New Poll: How much is being received in CS?

"Chris" wrote in message
news:Wz9Nc.43314$Sh.24947@lakeread06...

"Krista" wrote in message
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"teachrmama" wrote in message
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"Krista" wrote in message
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"Zimm" wrote in message
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The last poll was very interesting. How about one on the other
side?

Income: 43K
Children: 1
State: Michigan
CS received last year: 0
CS received year befo 0 (and on and on)
NCP visits with child: every weekend (this is a huge improvement,
it
was
twice a year - his choice)

NCP says he will purchase new pants for the upcoming school year.
I'm
crossing my fingers!

Zimm

Ex's income: in excess of $40,000/year
Our (dh and I) income: $12,000/year
Children: 2 (one mine and one ours)
State: Texas
CS received last year: $5228.34
CS received the year befo $5228.34

I have a question for you, Krista. This is not a criticism. I see that
you
mention both your ex's income and your income. Do you think that your
ex's
child support should be higher because you make such a low amount? He
is
paying slightly over 13% of his salary in CS. Do you think he should
pay
more, in order that the child's needs be met? Or do you think that,
perhaps, you might be the one who should be required to contribute
more?
I'm asking this for a reason. My husband pays 85% of the costs for his
daughter, while mom sits on her duff and collects public assistance. I
don't think this is right.

I do not. I posted in the past about wanting an increase in CS, but it
was
for selfish reasons (that I freely admit to). Also, I was angry because
he
had recently given me a "poor me" story and then I found out he was
lying.
I decided in the end that vindictiveness is HIS thing and I didn't wish
to
stoop to his level.

I think the amount of support he pays is fine, given that he only sees
her
once/month for a total of 36 hours and I support her the rest of the time
with his financial help. Her needs are met, so no, I do not think he
should
pay more just so she can have more "things."

I also don't think we should contribute more. When my ex and I decided
to
have a child, we also decided that I would be a stay-at-home-mom, and
therefore I have no marketable skills, so I am back in college taking
loans
to pay my expenses (my husband also takes loans and he works part-time).
When we were together my ex supported me and my daughter fully, by
himself
(except when I was pregnant, I worked then). His financial burden is
much
less now, even paying support + health insurance. We pay for her
housing,
food, and day-to-day necessities, and he (with his support) buys most of
her
clothes and some extra stuff that we couldn't otherwise afford for her
(like
the 2 wheeler she got for her b-day). So, no, I don't think we should
pay
more, either. I think we do just fine.

I think what is happening in your situation is unjust and unfair (but who
said the world was fair, right?). No one, CP *or* NCP should be allowed
to
just sit on their duff and let the other parent (or MAKE the other
parent)
pay all the expenses.

I frequently say that if my ex would take our daughter for 50% of the
year,
I would be happy to have $0 CS changing hands. Not "if he would agree to
take her for 50% of the year" but "if he would ACTUALLY take her 50% of
the
year." So far, he hasn't taken me up on that offer.

Anything wrong with a father having his child for all but a few weekends
out
of the year AND the mother paying HIM child support? If so, what and why?
If
not, then are YOU willing to live by such arrangement?


As in the Father getting MORE visitation with the child or as in the Father
having primary custody - your not clear.






--
Krista
Mother of three
Student of Psychology and Latin

When I did I say it was *right*? I DON'T think that any father should be
relegated to such a backseat role in his child's life by force. In my
ex's
case, HE DOES NOT WANT TO SEE HER MORE THAN THAT. I can not speak for
other
fathers, nor can I speak for other mothers. I can, and do, read the cases
of fathers forced out of their children's lives and I do think it sucks.
Similarly, though, you can not FORCE someone to take more of a role in
their
child's life than they want.

I know many men who have great feelings for their children and they can
not
fathom how a father could WANT to be with his child(ren) so little time,
BUT, my ex is one of those rare men. He's happy when he only "has to deal
with" his daughter on a once/month basis. I can no more force him to
spend
more time with her than I could force him out of her life completely.

My only point is, not every situation is the same. As hard as it may be
for
a father who wants desperately to be able to jointly parent his children
to
understand or believe (not saying you are one, just those that are), my ex
does not want his daughter unless she causes him little to no disruption
of
his life as usual. That's why he lets her stay up till she passes out
from
lack of sleep, lets her watch R-rated movies, has had sexual intercourse
in
the same room with her, and lets her eat whatever she wants, whenever she
wants. Because that's the least inconvenient for him. That causes the
least disruption to HIS status quo.

If he is having sexual intercourse in the same room as your child then call
CPS this is a real issue!! (I would also file a police report)
(if your child is at an age of understanding - which I assume she is) I
know after my kids were over the age of about 8 to 10 MONTHS that was a NO
NO


Robert

Income: 132k
Children: 3
State: Illinois
CS ordered: $1000/week
CS received: $1000/week (over 10 years)
NCP Visits: Every weekend, alternate holdiays, 1 week summer