Why should men get married?

So whats in it for men? Its a legal, binding civil contract. It basically
states that you will give alimony to your ex for 6 months for every year you
are married. She can work, or stay home, and she gets half of everything.
She can be a great wife, or a lazy, philandering crack whore, and she gets
half of everything.

You both get companionship, so thats even, but you can have companions down
at the bar. Or a dog, dogs make great companions.

You both get sex, but you can buy sex at the bunny ranch in Nevada and get
some of the hottest women around. Or some ugly ones for free at closing
time.

Love comes and goes, right, thats why divorce is so common, so why marry?
Why sign that contract? Whats in it financially for men?

Just curious
Jon (happily re-married)

On Tue, 15 Nov 2005 17:46:27 -0800, "Jon" wrote:

So whats in it for men? Its a legal, binding civil contract. It basically
states that you will give alimony to your ex for 6 months for every year you
are married. She can work, or stay home, and she gets half of everything.
She can be a great wife, or a lazy, philandering crack whore, and she gets
half of everything.

You both get companionship, so thats even, but you can have companions down
at the bar. Or a dog, dogs make great companions.

You both get sex, but you can buy sex at the bunny ranch in Nevada and get
some of the hottest women around. Or some ugly ones for free at closing
time.

Love comes and goes, right, thats why divorce is so common, so why marry?
Why sign that contract? Whats in it financially for men?

Just curious
Jon (happily re-married)


Unfortunately, financial concerns seem to take precedence over what I
would HOPE is the best reason for marriage: the biblical side of
things. Of course, speaking biblically, would mean divorce wouldn't
be as likely as it is either.

You say love comes and goes, but I think it is lust that comes and
goes. True love can hold a couple together, even when they dislike
their mate. But young people are in such a hurry to "capture the
fireworks" forever nowadays that they fail to let the relationship
grow, pre-marriage, to the kind of love that lasts a lifetime... where
you become one and cannot possibly be two again.

As I tell my sons... if you love each other so much now that you want
to marry, then that love will still be there in a year... in 10 years.
There is no hurry for marriage, although a relationship that works
will naturally evolve into what will sustain a marriage. I have an
aunt and uncle who dated for over 10 years before they decided to wed.
However, we all "felt" as though they were married long before
that.... but it was because of the kind of relationship they had, not
just because they were together.

Then there is the problem with how easy it is to divorce nowadays. I
had a friend be hit by her finacee the day before her marriage. I
told her she might wish to rethink marrying him. Her response? " I
can always divorce him if it doesn't work out." My personal
philosophy on marriage is that it should be forever and a couple
should work on problems together. That is why I refused several
proposals before I finally accepted one.

Alas, I am once divorced (but remarried). It took me a long time to
decide to divorce while the state made us stay separated (my eldest
reported molestation). At first, I considered just living apart for
the next 17 years (our youngest was 1), but I am weak and could not do
so. This was not something that was going to resolve because, during
the course of all this, I found out about his past molestations. He
was diagnosed a pedophile on two separate occasions.

At any rate, my ex was a perfect husband in every way if you discount
what he did to children. Fortunately for me, the mere mention of
divorce turned him into "Mr. Hyde" and it made it much easier for me
to do what was best for me and the children.

You're remarried, Jon. So why don't you answer your own questions?

As for me, I'm waiting to see what the U.S. Supreme Court decides in the
case of Anna Nicole Smith (aka The Widow Marshall). The Supremes are soon
to consider Mrs. Marshall's dispute with the family of her late husband, Mr.
E. Pierce Marshall, a billionaire oil baron, over the extent of her
inheritance from his estate. If the Supreme Court does right by this
unfortunate widow woman, THEN I'll explain what's in it for men. (Here's a
clue, Jon. There are 88.5 million reasons why I want to marry the Widow
Marshall--and that's in addition to her demonstrated preference for old
geezers.)


"Jon" wrote in message
...
So whats in it for men? Its a legal, binding civil contract. It
basically states that you will give alimony to your ex for 6 months for
every year you are married. She can work, or stay home, and she gets half
of everything. She can be a great wife, or a lazy, philandering crack
whore, and she gets half of everything.

You both get companionship, so thats even, but you can have companions
down at the bar. Or a dog, dogs make great companions.

You both get sex, but you can buy sex at the bunny ranch in Nevada and get
some of the hottest women around. Or some ugly ones for free at closing
time.

Love comes and goes, right, thats why divorce is so common, so why marry?
Why sign that contract? Whats in it financially for men?

Just curious
Jon (happily re-married)

Kenneth S. wrote:
You're remarried, Jon. So why don't you answer your own questions?
snip
Yeah, well, there is that. I'm in love. Married now 5 1/2 years and I
have no doubts at all. I found what marriage is supposed to be, giving,
equally to each other, supporting each other, all that good stuff. But what
do I tell my son's?
I do tell them to avoid marriage until they are 28 at least. Pre-nups
stating no alimony, no matter what. and no kids for a couple years after
that if possible. But still, other than that warm fuzzy feeling of being in
love, there is is no financial reason to get married, and every financial
reason to avoid it as a man.
Jon

"Jon" wrote in message
...
So whats in it for men? Its a legal, binding civil contract. It
basically
states that you will give alimony to your ex for 6 months for every year
you
are married. She can work, or stay home, and she gets half of everything.
She can be a great wife, or a lazy, philandering crack whore, and she gets
half of everything.

You both get companionship, so thats even, but you can have companions
down
at the bar. Or a dog, dogs make great companions.

You both get sex, but you can buy sex at the bunny ranch in Nevada and get
some of the hottest women around. Or some ugly ones for free at closing
time.

Love comes and goes, right, thats why divorce is so common, so why marry?
Why sign that contract? Whats in it financially for men?

Just curious

Nothing! But there are lots of reasons she presses you to marry her.

So you can stop your mother from complaining she is tired of explaining to
her friends you are not gay.

So you can let your bride turn her car equity into half the household
equity.

So you can pay the IRS marriage tax out of love.

So you can give your new bride half your accrued retirement benefits.

So you can say you are happily married when she prompts you to say it.

So you can never again go out with the boys to have some real fun.

So you can have her become hostile and demeaning toward you with state
sponsored amnesty.

So she can dictate to you how she wants you to spend your free time.

So she can put down all your relatives in attempts alienate you from your
family to control you.

Man, the list goes on. Marriage is not just being financially compromised.
Most of the reasons to not marry are the psychological games women play to
make themselves feel good emotionally.

"Jon" wrote in message
...
Kenneth S. wrote:
You're remarried, Jon. So why don't you answer your own questions?
snip
====
Actually, Jon, marriage has always been a financial/familial linage
institution (arranged). The concept of "love" is rather
contemporary to marriage. You can tell your sons (as I have told mine) that
aside from the union of Kenneth and his beloved
Widow Marshall, failure of the marriage is inevitable. It is simply not
looked upon as a permanent union anymore. Perfect
(til death do us part) unions seem to happen incidentally to a marriage
contract, and depend totally on the inclinations of the two
individuals involved. A divorce/separation is most often the desire of only
one of the partners and society readily validates the inclination
of that partner to leave. Your sons may have no control over whether divorce
happens to them.
====

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in

Most of the reasons to not marry are the psychological games women play to
make themselves feel good emotionally.

In short, does the perfect room mate really exist? I think not!

The old Bible might have the best advice to date, once divorced, stay
divorced!!!!

"Kenneth S." wrote in message
...

"Gini" wrote in message
news:IpJef.3776$Rb.1926@trndny01...

"Jon" wrote in message
...
Kenneth S. wrote:
You're remarried, Jon. So why don't you answer your own questions?
snip
====
Actually, Jon, marriage has always been a financial/familial linage
institution (arranged). The concept of "love" is rather
contemporary to marriage. You can tell your sons (as I have told mine)
that aside from the union of Kenneth and his beloved
Widow Marshall, failure of the marriage is inevitable. It is simply not
looked upon as a permanent union anymore. Perfect
(til death do us part) unions seem to happen incidentally to a marriage
contract, and depend totally on the inclinations of the two
individuals involved. A divorce/separation is most often the desire of
only one of the partners and society readily validates the inclination
of that partner to leave. Your sons may have no control over whether
divorce happens to them.
====

I would endorse the sentiments above. Their validity is clearly
demonstrated by the comments about me and Anna Nicole.
====
Have you seen the just-released home movies of Anna Nicole riding the
motorbike
with Mr Marshall hanging on behind her grinning from ear to ear? It's a
sight to behold.
She clearly knows how to make a man happy.

snipped Kenneth's most important comments. Sorry
====

Kenneth S. wrote:

: The plain fact of the matter is that today in the U.S. the actual
: marriage ceremony adds no stability to the relationship of two people. The
: legal document isn't worth the paper it is written on (or, in the case of
: the marriage of two English teachers, the paper on which it is written).
: The process of undermining marriage as a legal contract began with the
: adoption of no-fault divorce (particularly unilateral no-fault divorce,
: which allows one spouse to simply renounce the "contract" without the
: consent of the other spouse, and -- in the case of wives -- impose huge
: costs on the other spouse, via "child support").

(deletia)

Ken makes some excellent points. Marriage licenses mean nothing with
respect to solidifying marriages. I believe most people (now) get married
either from pressure from aspiring wives or due to religious stigma against
living together unmarried. We're seeing that nearly the majority of
children are being born to unmarried women nowadays.

The only thing that marriage seems to have a permanent effect on is the
financial aspect. Government loves to control our money and they do
just that with a failed marriage. The marriage contract gives the government
the "right" (unjustifiably) to control our personal finances post marriage.
There is no control of any other aspect of the relationship.

Marriage is declining in popularity. Given the totalitarian control that
the marriage contract gives our governments, I can see why it is becoming
unpopular.

I believe the strongest demonstration of a commitment between a man and
a woman is in those relationships where people stay together over many
years of their lives *without* being married. They're doing so because
of a genuine desire to be with each other. I know a couple who have been
doing this for over 20 years. My father has been doing so for nearly 10
years.

That is true commitment.

b.

Marriage is only as good as the people in it.
I am Happily (RE)married to a wonderful woman that I would not trade for the
world, for she is my world and everything in it.

I walked away from my 1st marriage (more like mistake) after 15 yrs and a
lot of legal issues and heartaches vowing never to get married again.
I assumed all women were just another variation of the one I had left, when
nothing could be further from the truth.

I found out that there is good and bad in every part of our society and that
if we take the time we can find the good as well as the bad.
My theory is that there is NO such thing as the "Perfect" Spouse. The old
saying "if you want to have a friend you need to be a friend" lays deep in
this one. If you want to have the perfect spouse, you need to be the
perfect spouse. (not that anyone is ever perfect) You simply need to treat
your spouse like the Bible has told us to. (though my wife does not agree
with the "obey" part..lol she mostly does - by acknowledging that as the
man I am the head of the household and respects my ability/authority to be
such.)

The bible tells men "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives
as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
Husbands, in the same way be considerate
as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker
partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing
will hinder your prayers.


The Bible tells women "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives
should submit to their husbands in everything."
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is
fitting in the Lord.


But just so that no one misunderstands as many do, the bible also says
"Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

(NOTE: there are more than a dozen times where a husband is told to Love his
wife, but a wife is never told to love her husband)

However a wife is told to Respect and Honor her husband, and if a husband
truly loves his wife and treats her as Christ did the church
The wife in being with being a Christian will fully submit to her husband.
If she does not then she is not a true Christian and is biblically not doing
as Christ has asked of her and her "heart is hard"

Matthew 19:8
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your
hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.


one verse of the bible I found to be fascinating was "it is better to run
for the hills than live with a wicked woman."

I know before I got married the 2nd time I spent time going over the bible
with my wife explaining the best I could the story of Christ as well as many
verses in the bible that my wife did NOT understand. She took offense to
the part of "submission" which she took as well "slavery" I had to explain
to her that it was meant in a Christian manor not of one that she would
commonly associate it with.

For a husband is NEVER to treat his wife as though he is her "master" only
that she respect that he is the head of the house. That is is NOT to
mistreat her in anyway or be harsh toward her.

Robert











"Beverly" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 15 Nov 2005 17:46:27 -0800, "Jon" wrote:

So whats in it for men? Its a legal, binding civil contract. It
basically
states that you will give alimony to your ex for 6 months for every year
you
are married. She can work, or stay home, and she gets half of everything.
She can be a great wife, or a lazy, philandering crack whore, and she gets
half of everything.

You both get companionship, so thats even, but you can have companions
down
at the bar. Or a dog, dogs make great companions.

You both get sex, but you can buy sex at the bunny ranch in Nevada and get
some of the hottest women around. Or some ugly ones for free at closing
time.

Love comes and goes, right, thats why divorce is so common, so why marry?
Why sign that contract? Whats in it financially for men?

Just curious
Jon (happily re-married)


Unfortunately, financial concerns seem to take precedence over what I
would HOPE is the best reason for marriage: the biblical side of
things. Of course, speaking biblically, would mean divorce wouldn't
be as likely as it is either.

You say love comes and goes, but I think it is lust that comes and
goes. True love can hold a couple together, even when they dislike
their mate. But young people are in such a hurry to "capture the
fireworks" forever nowadays that they fail to let the relationship
grow, pre-marriage, to the kind of love that lasts a lifetime... where
you become one and cannot possibly be two again.

As I tell my sons... if you love each other so much now that you want
to marry, then that love will still be there in a year... in 10 years.
There is no hurry for marriage, although a relationship that works
will naturally evolve into what will sustain a marriage. I have an
aunt and uncle who dated for over 10 years before they decided to wed.
However, we all "felt" as though they were married long before
that.... but it was because of the kind of relationship they had, not
just because they were together.

Then there is the problem with how easy it is to divorce nowadays. I
had a friend be hit by her finacee the day before her marriage. I
told her she might wish to rethink marrying him. Her response? " I
can always divorce him if it doesn't work out." My personal
philosophy on marriage is that it should be forever and a couple
should work on problems together. That is why I refused several
proposals before I finally accepted one.

Alas, I am once divorced (but remarried). It took me a long time to
decide to divorce while the state made us stay separated (my eldest
reported molestation). At first, I considered just living apart for
the next 17 years (our youngest was 1), but I am weak and could not do
so. This was not something that was going to resolve because, during
the course of all this, I found out about his past molestations. He
was diagnosed a pedophile on two separate occasions.

At any rate, my ex was a perfect husband in every way if you discount
what he did to children. Fortunately for me, the mere mention of
divorce turned him into "Mr. Hyde" and it made it much easier for me
to do what was best for me and the children.