toileting trouble with my daughter

My daughter is almost 4 and has been potty trained for a year and a half. At
night, however, she sleeps in pull-ups. She has never kept her pull-up dry
except when sleeping at grandma's house. Twice now I've taken her pull-up
"privileges" away because I have seen her put them on and then immediately
pee! Then, she wets the bed almost every morning - instead of getting out of
bed to go to the bathroom. I figure that if I keep changing her pull-ups
without a fuss and asking her "isn't it yucky to have peepee in your
pajamas?" (to which she agrees), then eventually she will learn to keep dry,
but it doesn't seem to be working. We've told her that she can't move to the
big girl bed (twin bed, as opposed to the toddler bed) until she learns to
be dry at night. She says she'll try, but she's not trying very hard - she's
just lazy about it. Any advice?

Hi -

My advice is to quit punishing her for peeing in her pullup at night,
and instead dangle a small reward in front of her, and give it to her
every time she stays dry. Something like a hershey kiss before
breakfast if she keeps her pullup dry. (Ie, something immediate and
that she really likes.) Be matter of fact about it. She's NOT being
lazy; she's being in control. Make her want to be in control by being
dry rather than by wearing a pullup.

You should also check her pullup when YOU go to bed at night, and if YOU
wake too early in the morning, to confirm that it's completely dry while
she's asleep. It's possible that it's slightly wet and she's covering
up by making it very wet.

My thoughts,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

"Billy the hermit" wrote in message
...

My daughter is almost 4 and has been potty trained for a year and a half.
At
night, however, she sleeps in pull-ups. She has never kept her pull-up
dry
except when sleeping at grandma's house. Twice now I've taken her pull-up
"privileges" away because I have seen her put them on and then immediately
pee! Then, she wets the bed almost every morning - instead of getting out
of
bed to go to the bathroom. I figure that if I keep changing her pull-ups
without a fuss and asking her "isn't it yucky to have peepee in your
pajamas?" (to which she agrees), then eventually she will learn to keep
dry,
but it doesn't seem to be working. We've told her that she can't move to
the
big girl bed (twin bed, as opposed to the toddler bed) until she learns to
be dry at night. She says she'll try, but she's not trying very hard -
she's
just lazy about it. Any advice?


Have you tried underwear at night? I've potty trained 2 kids and honestly
it seemed to me and my husband that they would pee if they had a diaper or
Pull Up on - cos they could! As soon as they were in underwear, they were
dry (minus seldom accidents).

On Wed, 24 Mar 2004 03:19:56 -0600, "Billy the hermit"
wrote:


My daughter is almost 4 and has been potty trained for a year and a half. At
night, however, she sleeps in pull-ups. She has never kept her pull-up dry
except when sleeping at grandma's house. Twice now I've taken her pull-up
"privileges" away because I have seen her put them on and then immediately
pee! Then, she wets the bed almost every morning - instead of getting out of
bed to go to the bathroom. I figure that if I keep changing her pull-ups
without a fuss and asking her "isn't it yucky to have peepee in your
pajamas?" (to which she agrees), then eventually she will learn to keep dry,
but it doesn't seem to be working. We've told her that she can't move to the
big girl bed (twin bed, as opposed to the toddler bed) until she learns to
be dry at night. She says she'll try, but she's not trying very hard - she's
just lazy about it. Any advice?

First, is she in pullups or regular underwear during the day?

Second, dry at night just happens when a child is ready once they are
day-trained. She is not being lazy, she just sleeps too deeply to
wake and go when she needs to go.

So... try taking her to the potty before bed. You may also want to
wake her and take her to the potty when you go to bed if she is dry
at that time of night.

Limit her liguids after dinner. No milk or juice, only a little water
if she is really thirsty and then make sure she goes to the toilet
about 20 or 30 minutes after she drinks.

Then, stop making a big deal about this. Move her to the big girl
bed if she is interested in that. Change her in the morning only
commenting if she is dry. If she stays dry for 3 nights ask her if
she wants to try big girl pants at night and do so if she wishes to.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

Have you tried underwear at night? I've potty trained 2 kids and honestly
it seemed to me and my husband that they would pee if they had a diaper or
Pull Up on - cos they could! As soon as they were in underwear, they were
dry (minus seldom accidents).

Hi Sophie!

What age did you start just putting them in underwear? L is 4 now and he
still has accidents at night, even though it's not every night (maybe 3
times a week). We put him in a pull up every night "just in case" and
because I believe that if he were to have an accident while wearing
underwear, he would just lay in it all night and not care. There have been
a few times his pull up has been very wet and leaked...and he says nothing
about it when he gets up. Anyway, we have thought since it's getting warmer
outside, that it might not be as bad if he lays wet all night (won't be as
cold) so we might start trying underwear...but just wondered what age you
did the switch over!

Thanks!

Janette
Mom to Logan Alexander (4)
and Caleb Benjamin (2)

"Janette" wrote in message
news:ZfU8c.2311$sd5.1458@okepread02...
Have you tried underwear at night? I've potty trained 2 kids and
honestly
it seemed to me and my husband that they would pee if they had a diaper
or
Pull Up on - cos they could! As soon as they were in underwear, they
were
dry (minus seldom accidents).

Hi Sophie!

What age did you start just putting them in underwear?

In the day C was 6 weeks shy of 3. We kept her in diapers at night for
about 8 months. When we had L and knew we'd be up at night and could take
her to pee, we put her in underwear at night.

In the day P had been 3 for 3 months. We let him go for almost a year in
diapers at night. He would soak through so bad that I thought there was no
way he could wear underwear at night. We did use Pull Ups - we went through
3 packs. He was staying dry so we went to underwear.


L is 4 now and he
still has accidents at night, even though it's not every night (maybe 3
times a week).

The kids only seem to have accidents if they have a drink too close to bed.
Dinner is between 5 and 6 pm and that's their last drink. C goes to bed at
8 pm, and P at 7 pm. We also take both to pee at about 10 to 10:30 pm.
Sometimes P will already have wet the bed. If C wets the bed it seems to be
at about 4 or 5 am. Dylan takes P to the bathroom in the morning at about 5
am (don't know why he doesn't take C too).

We put him in a pull up every night "just in case" and
because I believe that if he were to have an accident while wearing
underwear, he would just lay in it all night and not care.

That's yucky boys - lol.

There have been
a few times his pull up has been very wet and leaked...and he says nothing
about it when he gets up. Anyway, we have thought since it's getting
warmer
outside, that it might not be as bad if he lays wet all night (won't be as
cold) so we might start trying underwear...but just wondered what age you
did the switch over!

Thanks!

Janette
Mom to Logan Alexander (4)
and Caleb Benjamin (2)

You can always try it and see what happens.

Good luck, I hate potty training.

Janette wrote:

What age did you start just putting them in underwear? L is 4 now
and he still has accidents at night, even though it's not every night
(maybe 3 times a week). We put him in a pull up every night "just in
case" and because I believe that if he were to have an accident while
wearing underwear, he would just lay in it all night and not care.

I'm not Sophie but I'll share my experience on this topic :-)

Hunter was 3.5 when he day trained and he night trained at the same time.
He was also the type of kid that would happily go for a whole day in a wet
diaper and wet underpants and jeans didn't phase him. Once he trained
though I put him to bed with out a pull-up and he woke up to go to the
bathroom. He'd never woke up with a dry pull-up before that. He was not a
heavy sleeper though and woke easily at night. I had to get up and go with
him for a long time - he wouldn't go by himself. I don't limit what he
drinks and he'll drink right before bed but then he has to get up to go in
the night.

We've only had a few (4-5) night time accidents.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

Janette wrote:
Sophie wrote:
Have you tried underwear at night? I've potty trained 2 kids and honestly
it seemed to me and my husband that they would pee if they had a diaper or
Pull Up on - cos they could! As soon as they were in underwear, they were
dry (minus seldom accidents).

What age did you start just putting them in underwear? L is 4 now and he
still has accidents at night, even though it's not every night (maybe 3
times a week). We put him in a pull up every night "just in case" and
because I believe that if he were to have an accident while wearing
underwear, he would just lay in it all night and not care.

I don't think you can go by age. Some kids are just
flat out not able to be dry at night, and there's not a damn
thing you can do about it--not rewarding them, not putting
them in underwear, not waking them to go in the middle of
the night, nothing. You have to give periodic opportunities
in case the child is ready, but it will happen when it happens.
My first was not dry at night no matter what was tried until
he was eight years old. Eventually, he was just dry in the
morning and he stopped wearing pullups. It was a physiologic
process for him, not a behavioral issue he could be trained
out of, and our options were to wait patiently or allow
everyone to beat their heads against a brick wall. If L
is interested, you can do a couple trial runs in underwear,
but if the outcome is what you suspect, you just go back to
pullups until he's ready.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Thanks for your reply Sophie...sorry this is so delayed....I haven't been
able to access the ng's lately! We haven't tried leaving Logan in underwear
yet, but I think we will now that it's warmer outside, and therefore stays
warmer in the house at night. Just didn't want him to lay wet all night and
be cold! He gets sick too easily as it is.

As for having his last drink being at dinnertime. We try to do that as well,
but now that they play outside almost every evening after dinner, they come
in thirsty. We try to just give him a small drink, however...and he has
been dry for the past 5 mornings, but still wearing the pull-up. Maybe this
weekend we will leave him in underwear and see how he does!

Janette
Mom to Logan Alexander (4)
and Caleb Benjamin (2)

I'm not Sophie but I'll share my experience on this topic :-)

Ok Great!! Thanks! Sorry this is so delayed, I haven't been able to get on
my ng's lately!

Hunter was 3.5 when he day trained and he night trained at the same time.
He was also the type of kid that would happily go for a whole day in a wet
diaper and wet underpants and jeans didn't phase him. Once he trained
though I put him to bed with out a pull-up and he woke up to go to the
bathroom. He'd never woke up with a dry pull-up before that. He was not
a
heavy sleeper though and woke easily at night. I had to get up and go
with
him for a long time - he wouldn't go by himself. I don't limit what he
drinks and he'll drink right before bed but then he has to get up to go in
the night.

Logan has never awakened in the middle of the night to go potty. Do you
wake Hunter, or does he wake on his own? I know some parents will wake
their kids when they are up going to the bathroom themselves, or whatever.
However, with me, I never wake either, so that wouldn't work lol.

He has been staying dry the past 5 mornings or so in his pull-up...I think
maybe this weekend we might try leaving him in underwear and see what
happens. He does ask to stay in underwear!

Janette
Mommy to Logan Alexander (4)
and Caleb Benjamin (2)