Help! - 6 year old daughter Misbehaving in School

My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

The school is all nuns who come from predominatly the Phillapines and
India, and a couple from Italy. The appear very gentle and respectful,
as we always loved the school. It is an expensive school and highly
recommended in the area. I gather their background comes from strict
discipline, and devout religiousness.


You Need to Understand The History (to help paint the picture)........

She is just about 6 years old and has attended the school since she
was 2 1/2 years, and has always behaved fairly well with the other
teachers (all nuns) as she progressed through four differant
classes.....until just the past month. She was no angel, but just
minor incidents all kids get into. As she progressed through the
grades, things became more difficult.

- She always cried every day that we dropped her off in her 2 1/2 to 3
1/2 year old class. She would always cling to us before we left her.
Many of the kids did this, but my daughter more consistently.

- She cried less but was still clingy in her 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 year old
class, where things started getting a bit tougher. I noticed her
teacher tugging her arm very/very hard one day when I arrived to pick
her up. When the techer turned and saw me observe this, she was
embarrassed, but I let it go. I did write a letter anonymously to the
school about it. The following year, the teacher was reportedly
transferred to the "sister" school a few towns away. Was it because of
this or other similar complaints I don't know.

my then 2 year old son now begins going to the same school with all
the nuns, because I find at the daycare we are sending him to that he
is being neglegted - thrown in a crib with other kids unfree to roam
while the two babysitters sit in rocking chairs and converse, never
changed right, etc. He does extremely well now until just before the
beginning of this year where there was a period of him being
intolerable, but that has since subsided. He is also now just potty
trained in th past month making their job easier.

- In her 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 year old class, there was an incident in which
I arrived in the school one day early to find my daughter under a
table and the teacher's aide was pulling at her arm very agressively.
The primary teacher was out of the school. This was an unpleasant
suprise that was discovered when I opened the closed door of the
classroom. When I approached my daughter, and the teacher's aide, my
daughter had nail marks on her arm, was bleeding from the scratches,
all red marks around all parts of her arm, and was crying
hysterically. I went right to the head nun who runs the school and she
observed the nail marks and redness, etc. One week later, that
teacher's aid was gone - sent back to India. There was no mention as
to the reason, but we knew why....so did all the other sisters I
suppose.

- Now in her present 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 year old class she's been great
the first half of the time, but now nearing the strech of her pre-
school and Kinnergarden graduation, the teacher is reporting all of
this odd behavior. It all started in January until present. My
daughter is reportedly "leading" the class into disruption, making
paper airplanes and leading the class into not paying attention to
learning, not listening to teachers or the authority, and today had a
fight with a boy who she says kicked her - she scratched him, bopped
his sister and another girl who apparently were trying to break it up.
The kids have scratches, etc. All of these things happen consistently
when the teacher's aides are supervising, year after year, never when
the primary teacher is present. However, this teacher keeps making
assumptions based on the children's and aides feedback as whom to
blame for the rutger. It is always my daughter who is responsible.

Anyone with suggestions or experiences we would be grateful. We want
her to be prapared for her public school 1st grade transition with
proper discipline.

Billy wrote:
My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

The school is all nuns who come from predominatly the Phillapines and
India, and a couple from Italy. The appear very gentle and respectful,
as we always loved the school. It is an expensive school and highly
recommended in the area. I gather their background comes from strict
discipline, and devout religiousness.


You Need to Understand The History (to help paint the picture)........

She is just about 6 years old and has attended the school since she
was 2 1/2 years, and has always behaved fairly well with the other
teachers (all nuns) as she progressed through four differant
classes.....until just the past month. She was no angel, but just
minor incidents all kids get into. As she progressed through the
grades, things became more difficult.

- She always cried every day that we dropped her off in her 2 1/2 to 3
1/2 year old class. She would always cling to us before we left her.
Many of the kids did this, but my daughter more consistently.

- She cried less but was still clingy in her 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 year old
class, where things started getting a bit tougher. I noticed her
teacher tugging her arm very/very hard one day when I arrived to pick
her up. When the techer turned and saw me observe this, she was
embarrassed, but I let it go. I did write a letter anonymously to the
school about it. The following year, the teacher was reportedly
transferred to the "sister" school a few towns away. Was it because of
this or other similar complaints I don't know.

my then 2 year old son now begins going to the same school with all
the nuns, because I find at the daycare we are sending him to that he
is being neglegted - thrown in a crib with other kids unfree to roam
while the two babysitters sit in rocking chairs and converse, never
changed right, etc. He does extremely well now until just before the
beginning of this year where there was a period of him being
intolerable, but that has since subsided. He is also now just potty
trained in th past month making their job easier.

- In her 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 year old class, there was an incident in which
I arrived in the school one day early to find my daughter under a
table and the teacher's aide was pulling at her arm very agressively.
The primary teacher was out of the school. This was an unpleasant
suprise that was discovered when I opened the closed door of the
classroom. When I approached my daughter, and the teacher's aide, my
daughter had nail marks on her arm, was bleeding from the scratches,
all red marks around all parts of her arm, and was crying
hysterically. I went right to the head nun who runs the school and she
observed the nail marks and redness, etc. One week later, that
teacher's aid was gone - sent back to India. There was no mention as
to the reason, but we knew why....so did all the other sisters I
suppose.

- Now in her present 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 year old class she's been great
the first half of the time, but now nearing the strech of her pre-
school and Kinnergarden graduation, the teacher is reporting all of
this odd behavior. It all started in January until present. My
daughter is reportedly "leading" the class into disruption, making
paper airplanes and leading the class into not paying attention to
learning, not listening to teachers or the authority, and today had a
fight with a boy who she says kicked her - she scratched him, bopped
his sister and another girl who apparently were trying to break it up.
The kids have scratches, etc. All of these things happen consistently
when the teacher's aides are supervising, year after year, never when
the primary teacher is present. However, this teacher keeps making
assumptions based on the children's and aides feedback as whom to
blame for the rutger. It is always my daughter who is responsible.

Anyone with suggestions or experiences we would be grateful. We want
her to be prapared for her public school 1st grade transition with
proper discipline.

I guess at this point, I would ask how you know
that the problem is with your daughter and not with the school.
You raise several clear issues with the school, it appears
that your daughter is often left with only aides supervising
(or at least often enough that her misbehavior at those times
is causing significant trouble), when you ask the school for
information and assistance they apparently have no expertise
to share. None of these things would be particularly
acceptable to me. Maybe your daughter has issues, and maybe
she doesn't, but it sure seems like this school isn't in
much of a position to help her.
What is her behavior like at home? Is she misbehaving
there? If you can look at the situation objectively and
decide that her behavior at home is fine, then I expect that
there is very little you can do about behaviors that only
occur at school. What are you supposed to do? Yell at her
every day when she comes home for stuff she doesn't do under
your watch? That's very unlikely to succeed in changing
her school behavior.
If she's challenging at home, then maybe there are
some other things you can look into. Perhaps you are
contributing to some problem behaviors and perhaps you
can improve how you parent her when she's with you. But
if the problem is pretty much exclusively at school, you
don't have a lot of leverage. Someone *at school* has to
be doing something effective *at the time* the problem
behaviors are going on. If they aren't willing to do that,
then they are not serving your child. I'm not saying that
they ought to turn the classroom upside down to meet the
needs of one child, but classroom management is part of
a teacher's *job*, and if a child whose behavior is fine
elsewhere is acting up just in a classroom, then there's
something the teacher needs to be doing.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Billy" wrote in message
oups.com...
My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

The school is all nuns who come from predominatly the Phillapines and
India, and a couple from Italy. The appear very gentle and respectful,
as we always loved the school. It is an expensive school and highly
recommended in the area. I gather their background comes from strict
discipline, and devout religiousness.


You Need to Understand The History (to help paint the picture)........

She is just about 6 years old and has attended the school since she
was 2 1/2 years, and has always behaved fairly well with the other
teachers (all nuns) as she progressed through four differant
classes.....until just the past month. She was no angel, but just
minor incidents all kids get into. As she progressed through the
grades, things became more difficult.

- She always cried every day that we dropped her off in her 2 1/2 to 3
1/2 year old class. She would always cling to us before we left her.
Many of the kids did this, but my daughter more consistently.

- She cried less but was still clingy in her 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 year old
class, where things started getting a bit tougher. I noticed her
teacher tugging her arm very/very hard one day when I arrived to pick
her up. When the techer turned and saw me observe this, she was
embarrassed, but I let it go. I did write a letter anonymously to the
school about it. The following year, the teacher was reportedly
transferred to the "sister" school a few towns away. Was it because of
this or other similar complaints I don't know.

my then 2 year old son now begins going to the same school with all
the nuns, because I find at the daycare we are sending him to that he
is being neglegted - thrown in a crib with other kids unfree to roam
while the two babysitters sit in rocking chairs and converse, never
changed right, etc. He does extremely well now until just before the
beginning of this year where there was a period of him being
intolerable, but that has since subsided. He is also now just potty
trained in th past month making their job easier.

- In her 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 year old class, there was an incident in which
I arrived in the school one day early to find my daughter under a
table and the teacher's aide was pulling at her arm very agressively.
The primary teacher was out of the school. This was an unpleasant
suprise that was discovered when I opened the closed door of the
classroom. When I approached my daughter, and the teacher's aide, my
daughter had nail marks on her arm, was bleeding from the scratches,
all red marks around all parts of her arm, and was crying
hysterically. I went right to the head nun who runs the school and she
observed the nail marks and redness, etc. One week later, that
teacher's aid was gone - sent back to India. There was no mention as
to the reason, but we knew why....so did all the other sisters I
suppose.

- Now in her present 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 year old class she's been great
the first half of the time, but now nearing the strech of her pre-
school and Kinnergarden graduation, the teacher is reporting all of
this odd behavior. It all started in January until present. My
daughter is reportedly "leading" the class into disruption, making
paper airplanes and leading the class into not paying attention to
learning, not listening to teachers or the authority, and today had a
fight with a boy who she says kicked her - she scratched him, bopped
his sister and another girl who apparently were trying to break it up.
The kids have scratches, etc. All of these things happen consistently
when the teacher's aides are supervising, year after year, never when
the primary teacher is present. However, this teacher keeps making
assumptions based on the children's and aides feedback as whom to
blame for the rutger. It is always my daughter who is responsible.

Anyone with suggestions or experiences we would be grateful. We want
her to be prapared for her public school 1st grade transition with
proper discipline.

It appears something changed in the last month or so. Maybe a student in the
class left 3 weeks ago and she is acting out because of this. Maybe she is
upset that she can't go out because of the frigid weather. Maybe something
changed at home. Maybe there is a new aide, teacher or other staff member
or student who bothers her.

The other thing is that you said that her problems at the school have gotten
worse over the years. I am wondering if the school is the right school for
her. Maybe she would do better at a Montessori school, a Lutheran school or,
a Quaker school or, Heaven forbid, a public school.

If you haven't, I would discuss your daughter's behavior with her. Maybe she
can give you some clues. Also, go and talk to the principal, with the idea
that there is a problem and you want to work with the school *together* to
solve.

Jeff

On Feb 8, 9:07 pm, "Jeff" wrote:
"Billy" wrote in message

oups.com...





My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

The school is all nuns who come from predominatly the Phillapines and
India, and a couple from Italy. The appear very gentle and respectful,
as we always loved the school. It is an expensive school and highly
recommended in the area. I gather their background comes from strict
discipline, and devout religiousness.

You Need to Understand The History (to help paint the picture)........

She is just about 6 years old and has attended the school since she
was 2 1/2 years, and has always behaved fairly well with the other
teachers (all nuns) as she progressed through four differant
classes.....until just the past month. She was no angel, but just
minor incidents all kids get into. As she progressed through the
grades, things became more difficult.

- She always cried every day that we dropped her off in her 2 1/2 to 3
1/2 year old class. She would always cling to us before we left her.
Many of the kids did this, but my daughter more consistently.

- She cried less but was still clingy in her 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 year old
class, where things started getting a bit tougher. I noticed her
teacher tugging her arm very/very hard one day when I arrived to pick
her up. When the techer turned and saw me observe this, she was
embarrassed, but I let it go. I did write a letter anonymously to the
school about it. The following year, the teacher was reportedly
transferred to the "sister" school a few towns away. Was it because of
this or other similar complaints I don't know.

my then 2 year old son now begins going to the same school with all
the nuns, because I find at the daycare we are sending him to that he
is being neglegted - thrown in a crib with other kids unfree to roam
while the two babysitters sit in rocking chairs and converse, never
changed right, etc. He does extremely well now until just before the
beginning of this year where there was a period of him being
intolerable, but that has since subsided. He is also now just potty
trained in th past month making their job easier.

- In her 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 year old class, there was an incident in which
I arrived in the school one day early to find my daughter under a
table and the teacher's aide was pulling at her arm very agressively.
The primary teacher was out of the school. This was an unpleasant
suprise that was discovered when I opened the closed door of the
classroom. When I approached my daughter, and the teacher's aide, my
daughter had nail marks on her arm, was bleeding from the scratches,
all red marks around all parts of her arm, and was crying
hysterically. I went right to the head nun who runs the school and she
observed the nail marks and redness, etc. One week later, that
teacher's aid was gone - sent back to India. There was no mention as
to the reason, but we knew why....so did all the other sisters I
suppose.

- Now in her present 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 year old class she's been great
the first half of the time, but now nearing the strech of her pre-
school and Kinnergarden graduation, the teacher is reporting all of
this odd behavior. It all started in January until present. My
daughter is reportedly "leading" the class into disruption, making
paper airplanes and leading the class into not paying attention to
learning, not listening to teachers or the authority, and today had a
fight with a boy who she says kicked her - she scratched him, bopped
his sister and another girl who apparently were trying to break it up.
The kids have scratches, etc. All of these things happen consistently
when the teacher's aides are supervising, year after year, never when
the primary teacher is present. However, this teacher keeps making
assumptions based on the children's and aides feedback as whom to
blame for the rutger. It is always my daughter who is responsible.

Anyone with suggestions or experiences we would be grateful. We want
her to be prapared for her public school 1st grade transition with
proper discipline.

It appears something changed in the last month or so. Maybe a student in the
class left 3 weeks ago and she is acting out because of this. Maybe she is
upset that she can't go out because of the frigid weather. Maybe something
changed at home. Maybe there is a new aide, teacher or other staff member
or student who bothers her.

The other thing is that you said that her problems at the school have gotten
worse over the years. I am wondering if the school is the right school for
her. Maybe she would do better at a Montessori school, a Lutheran school or,
a Quaker school or, Heaven forbid, a public school.

If you haven't, I would discuss your daughter's behavior with her. Maybe she
can give you some clues. Also, go and talk to the principal, with the idea
that there is a problem and you want to work with the school *together* to
solve.

Jeff- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Exactly what I'm going to do. I have a meeting with the pricipal and
teacher tomorrow. Thanks for your advice! Why do you dislike public
schools so much?

"Billy" wrote in message
oups.com...
My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

Find another school now. Put her in public school, where the teachers have
better education and aren't allowed to abuse children physically and
mentally. Discipline and adherence to order is *way* overemphasized in
Catholic school, and there's no room for kids that learn differently.
BTDT.

On Feb 8, 10:47 pm, "deja.blues" wrote:
"Billy" wrote in message

oups.com...

My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

Find another school now. Put her in public school, where the teachers have
better education and aren't allowed to abuse children physically and
mentally. Discipline and adherence to order is *way* overemphasized in
Catholic school, and there's no room for kids that learn differently.
BTDT.

I want to do this, but it seems not feasible. I dont know if I can
walk into my town's schools kindergarden (half days only - the reason
for putting her in the catholic school) tomorrow and say "my
daughter's starting on Monday and finishing her year here". I dont
know if that is possible. I'm going to make some calls and visits
tomorrow Did you ever hear of that happening?

On Feb 8, 8:01 pm, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Billy wrote:
My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

The school is all nuns who come from predominatly the Phillapines and
India, and a couple from Italy. The appear very gentle and respectful,
as we always loved the school. It is an expensive school and highly
recommended in the area. I gather their background comes from strict
discipline, and devout religiousness.

You Need to Understand The History (to help paint the picture)........

She is just about 6 years old and has attended the school since she
was 2 1/2 years, and has always behaved fairly well with the other
teachers (all nuns) as she progressed through four differant
classes.....until just the past month. She was no angel, but just
minor incidents all kids get into. As she progressed through the
grades, things became more difficult.

- She always cried every day that we dropped her off in her 2 1/2 to 3
1/2 year old class. She would always cling to us before we left her.
Many of the kids did this, but my daughter more consistently.

- She cried less but was still clingy in her 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 year old
class, where things started getting a bit tougher. I noticed her
teacher tugging her arm very/very hard one day when I arrived to pick
her up. When the techer turned and saw me observe this, she was
embarrassed, but I let it go. I did write a letter anonymously to the
school about it. The following year, the teacher was reportedly
transferred to the "sister" school a few towns away. Was it because of
this or other similar complaints I don't know.

my then 2 year old son now begins going to the same school with all
the nuns, because I find at the daycare we are sending him to that he
is being neglegted - thrown in a crib with other kids unfree to roam
while the two babysitters sit in rocking chairs and converse, never
changed right, etc. He does extremely well now until just before the
beginning of this year where there was a period of him being
intolerable, but that has since subsided. He is also now just potty
trained in th past month making their job easier.

- In her 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 year old class, there was an incident in which
I arrived in the school one day early to find my daughter under a
table and the teacher's aide was pulling at her arm very agressively.
The primary teacher was out of the school. This was an unpleasant
suprise that was discovered when I opened the closed door of the
classroom. When I approached my daughter, and the teacher's aide, my
daughter had nail marks on her arm, was bleeding from the scratches,
all red marks around all parts of her arm, and was crying
hysterically. I went right to the head nun who runs the school and she
observed the nail marks and redness, etc. One week later, that
teacher's aid was gone - sent back to India. There was no mention as
to the reason, but we knew why....so did all the other sisters I
suppose.

- Now in her present 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 year old class she's been great
the first half of the time, but now nearing the strech of her pre-
school and Kinnergarden graduation, the teacher is reporting all of
this odd behavior. It all started in January until present. My
daughter is reportedly "leading" the class into disruption, making
paper airplanes and leading the class into not paying attention to
learning, not listening to teachers or the authority, and today had a
fight with a boy who she says kicked her - she scratched him, bopped
his sister and another girl who apparently were trying to break it up.
The kids have scratches, etc. All of these things happen consistently
when the teacher's aides are supervising, year after year, never when
the primary teacher is present. However, this teacher keeps making
assumptions based on the children's and aides feedback as whom to
blame for the rutger. It is always my daughter who is responsible.

Anyone with suggestions or experiences we would be grateful. We want
her to be prapared for her public school 1st grade transition with
proper discipline.

I guess at this point, I would ask how you know
that the problem is with your daughter and not with the school.
You raise several clear issues with the school, it appears
that your daughter is often left with only aides supervising
(or at least often enough that her misbehavior at those times
is causing significant trouble), when you ask the school for
information and assistance they apparently have no expertise
to share. None of these things would be particularly
acceptable to me. Maybe your daughter has issues, and maybe
she doesn't, but it sure seems like this school isn't in
much of a position to help her.
What is her behavior like at home? Is she misbehaving
there? If you can look at the situation objectively and
decide that her behavior at home is fine, then I expect that
there is very little you can do about behaviors that only
occur at school. What are you supposed to do? Yell at her
every day when she comes home for stuff she doesn't do under
your watch? That's very unlikely to succeed in changing
her school behavior.
If she's challenging at home, then maybe there are
some other things you can look into. Perhaps you are
contributing to some problem behaviors and perhaps you
can improve how you parent her when she's with you. But
if the problem is pretty much exclusively at school, you
don't have a lot of leverage. Someone *at school* has to
be doing something effective *at the time* the problem
behaviors are going on. If they aren't willing to do that,
then they are not serving your child. I'm not saying that
they ought to turn the classroom upside down to meet the
needs of one child, but classroom management is part of
a teacher's *job*, and if a child whose behavior is fine
elsewhere is acting up just in a classroom, then there's
something the teacher needs to be doing.

Best wishes,
Ericka- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Thanks. I can't say that she is too good at home. She fights with her
3 year old brother often. Very possessive, not sharing, agressive,
domineering. Odd since she is only 35 lbs - the same weight as him. I
think the school is somewhat right but your comment about ther
classroom management being their job is where the heart of the matter
is. What I don't do right at home is my fault. What they don't do
right at school is their fault.

The teacher continues to bring up the fact that she can not discipline
my daughter because of the incident they all know of where the
teacher's aide that was fired due to her manhandling my daughter.

It's almost like they want permission to physically maintain her, yet
they persistently state that they would never hit the kids, that it
isn't right. Very hipocritical, IMO.

On Feb 8, 9:07 pm, "Jeff" wrote:
"Billy" wrote in message

oups.com...





My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

The school is all nuns who come from predominatly the Phillapines and
India, and a couple from Italy. The appear very gentle and respectful,
as we always loved the school. It is an expensive school and highly
recommended in the area. I gather their background comes from strict
discipline, and devout religiousness.

You Need to Understand The History (to help paint the picture)........

She is just about 6 years old and has attended the school since she
was 2 1/2 years, and has always behaved fairly well with the other
teachers (all nuns) as she progressed through four differant
classes.....until just the past month. She was no angel, but just
minor incidents all kids get into. As she progressed through the
grades, things became more difficult.

- She always cried every day that we dropped her off in her 2 1/2 to 3
1/2 year old class. She would always cling to us before we left her.
Many of the kids did this, but my daughter more consistently.

- She cried less but was still clingy in her 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 year old
class, where things started getting a bit tougher. I noticed her
teacher tugging her arm very/very hard one day when I arrived to pick
her up. When the techer turned and saw me observe this, she was
embarrassed, but I let it go. I did write a letter anonymously to the
school about it. The following year, the teacher was reportedly
transferred to the "sister" school a few towns away. Was it because of
this or other similar complaints I don't know.

my then 2 year old son now begins going to the same school with all
the nuns, because I find at the daycare we are sending him to that he
is being neglegted - thrown in a crib with other kids unfree to roam
while the two babysitters sit in rocking chairs and converse, never
changed right, etc. He does extremely well now until just before the
beginning of this year where there was a period of him being
intolerable, but that has since subsided. He is also now just potty
trained in th past month making their job easier.

- In her 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 year old class, there was an incident in which
I arrived in the school one day early to find my daughter under a
table and the teacher's aide was pulling at her arm very agressively.
The primary teacher was out of the school. This was an unpleasant
suprise that was discovered when I opened the closed door of the
classroom. When I approached my daughter, and the teacher's aide, my
daughter had nail marks on her arm, was bleeding from the scratches,
all red marks around all parts of her arm, and was crying
hysterically. I went right to the head nun who runs the school and she
observed the nail marks and redness, etc. One week later, that
teacher's aid was gone - sent back to India. There was no mention as
to the reason, but we knew why....so did all the other sisters I
suppose.

- Now in her present 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 year old class she's been great
the first half of the time, but now nearing the strech of her pre-
school and Kinnergarden graduation, the teacher is reporting all of
this odd behavior. It all started in January until present. My
daughter is reportedly "leading" the class into disruption, making
paper airplanes and leading the class into not paying attention to
learning, not listening to teachers or the authority, and today had a
fight with a boy who she says kicked her - she scratched him, bopped
his sister and another girl who apparently were trying to break it up.
The kids have scratches, etc. All of these things happen consistently
when the teacher's aides are supervising, year after year, never when
the primary teacher is present. However, this teacher keeps making
assumptions based on the children's and aides feedback as whom to
blame for the rutger. It is always my daughter who is responsible.

Anyone with suggestions or experiences we would be grateful. We want
her to be prapared for her public school 1st grade transition with
proper discipline.

It appears something changed in the last month or so. Maybe a student in the
class left 3 weeks ago and she is acting out because of this. Maybe she is
upset that she can't go out because of the frigid weather. Maybe something
changed at home. Maybe there is a new aide, teacher or other staff member
or student who bothers her.

The other thing is that you said that her problems at the school have gotten
worse over the years. I am wondering if the school is the right school for
her. Maybe she would do better at a Montessori school, a Lutheran school or,
a Quaker school or, Heaven forbid, a public school.

If you haven't, I would discuss your daughter's behavior with her. Maybe she
can give you some clues. Also, go and talk to the principal, with the idea
that there is a problem and you want to work with the school *together* to
solve.

Jeff- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Yes, something has changed. She is being given a rough ciriculum that
has increased steadily through the past few months. She is learning to
add numbers, read books, 7 pages of homework 3 times aweek, etc. My
wife thinks this is the cause, the transition from "play" to "work",
but I do not agree. I dont know if this is now typical in the K grade,
to be reading books and add and subtract.

"Billy" wrote in message
ups.com...
I want to do this, but it seems not feasible. I dont know if I can
walk into my town's schools kindergarden (half days only - the
reason
for putting her in the catholic school) tomorrow and say "my
daughter's starting on Monday and finishing her year here". I dont
know if that is possible. I'm going to make some calls and visits
tomorrow Did you ever hear of that happening?

People transfer into public schools all the time after moves and so
forth. You just fill out the paperwork, and in she'll go.

Bizby

"Billy" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Feb 8, 9:07 pm, "Jeff" wrote:
"Billy" wrote in message

oups.com...





My 6 year old daughter is in Kidnergarden in a catholic pre-school and
we are receiving reports that she is being disobedient, disrespectful,
agressive and fighting with other students, etc. The teacher has no
suggesstions. We have no answers. We don't even have no clue on how to
correct this and need help and experience wherever we can find it!

The school is all nuns who come from predominatly the Phillapines and
India, and a couple from Italy. The appear very gentle and respectful,
as we always loved the school. It is an expensive school and highly
recommended in the area. I gather their background comes from strict
discipline, and devout religiousness.

You Need to Understand The History (to help paint the picture)........

She is just about 6 years old and has attended the school since she
was 2 1/2 years, and has always behaved fairly well with the other
teachers (all nuns) as she progressed through four differant
classes.....until just the past month. She was no angel, but just
minor incidents all kids get into. As she progressed through the
grades, things became more difficult.

- She always cried every day that we dropped her off in her 2 1/2 to 3
1/2 year old class. She would always cling to us before we left her.
Many of the kids did this, but my daughter more consistently.

- She cried less but was still clingy in her 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 year old
class, where things started getting a bit tougher. I noticed her
teacher tugging her arm very/very hard one day when I arrived to pick
her up. When the techer turned and saw me observe this, she was
embarrassed, but I let it go. I did write a letter anonymously to the
school about it. The following year, the teacher was reportedly
transferred to the "sister" school a few towns away. Was it because of
this or other similar complaints I don't know.

my then 2 year old son now begins going to the same school with all
the nuns, because I find at the daycare we are sending him to that he
is being neglegted - thrown in a crib with other kids unfree to roam
while the two babysitters sit in rocking chairs and converse, never
changed right, etc. He does extremely well now until just before the
beginning of this year where there was a period of him being
intolerable, but that has since subsided. He is also now just potty
trained in th past month making their job easier.

- In her 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 year old class, there was an incident in which
I arrived in the school one day early to find my daughter under a
table and the teacher's aide was pulling at her arm very agressively.
The primary teacher was out of the school. This was an unpleasant
suprise that was discovered when I opened the closed door of the
classroom. When I approached my daughter, and the teacher's aide, my
daughter had nail marks on her arm, was bleeding from the scratches,
all red marks around all parts of her arm, and was crying
hysterically. I went right to the head nun who runs the school and she
observed the nail marks and redness, etc. One week later, that
teacher's aid was gone - sent back to India. There was no mention as
to the reason, but we knew why....so did all the other sisters I
suppose.

- Now in her present 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 year old class she's been great
the first half of the time, but now nearing the strech of her pre-
school and Kinnergarden graduation, the teacher is reporting all of
this odd behavior. It all started in January until present. My
daughter is reportedly "leading" the class into disruption, making
paper airplanes and leading the class into not paying attention to
learning, not listening to teachers or the authority, and today had a
fight with a boy who she says kicked her - she scratched him, bopped
his sister and another girl who apparently were trying to break it up.
The kids have scratches, etc. All of these things happen consistently
when the teacher's aides are supervising, year after year, never when
the primary teacher is present. However, this teacher keeps making
assumptions based on the children's and aides feedback as whom to
blame for the rutger. It is always my daughter who is responsible.

Anyone with suggestions or experiences we would be grateful. We want
her to be prapared for her public school 1st grade transition with
proper discipline.

It appears something changed in the last month or so. Maybe a student in
the
class left 3 weeks ago and she is acting out because of this. Maybe she
is
upset that she can't go out because of the frigid weather. Maybe
something
changed at home. Maybe there is a new aide, teacher or other staff
member
or student who bothers her.

The other thing is that you said that her problems at the school have
gotten
worse over the years. I am wondering if the school is the right school
for
her. Maybe she would do better at a Montessori school, a Lutheran school
or,
a Quaker school or, Heaven forbid, a public school.

If you haven't, I would discuss your daughter's behavior with her. Maybe
she
can give you some clues. Also, go and talk to the principal, with the
idea
that there is a problem and you want to work with the school *together*
to
solve.

Jeff- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Exactly what I'm going to do. I have a meeting with the pricipal and
teacher tomorrow. Thanks for your advice! Why do you dislike public
schools so much?

I don't. I was actually making fun of church-based schools. Both types of
schools (public and private) can be very good or not so good.

Jeff