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#1
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Lowest of the low
We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and
losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of the time. I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to "step up to the plate". That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a later date. When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks! |
#2
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Lowest of the low
Dave wrote: We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of the time. I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to "step up to the plate". That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a later date. When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks! The situation will be corrected BY THE STATE only when it become fiscally beneficial FOR THE STATE to do so. Be that by an increase in revenue or a decrease in expense. What can fathers do to make it EXPENSIVE for the State to continue ignoring their rights? - Ron ^*^ |
#3
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Lowest of the low
On Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:45:55 -0500 Werebat wrote
Dave wrote: We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of the time. I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to "step up to the plate". That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a later date. When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks! The situation will be corrected BY THE STATE only when it become fiscally beneficial FOR THE STATE to do so. Be that by an increase in revenue or a decrease in expense. What can fathers do to make it EXPENSIVE for the State to continue ignoring their rights? - Ron ^*^ I would love nothing more than making it as expensive as possible for the state to trample on my rights this way! I wonder what would happen if the family court was flooded with motions from people such as myself, asking for visitation and/or custody all around the same time period? What if they had a huge pile of paperwork they had to handle dumped in their laps. It would make sense for them to deal with it by having, at the very least, some kind of default visitation built in along with the support orders. It would also slow down the process for getting support orders in place which might also encourage some people to seek another way of handling support. Since the default notion is that any father should be a decent enough guy to support their own child, the default notion should also be that a father is not dangerous enough to be denied visitation. Of course, there'd have to be a way to keep dangerous parents (both male and female) away from their children. |
#4
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Lowest of the low
"Dave" wrote in I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to "step up to the plate". Unfortunately we all have to find out the hard way what the State's idea of an obligation is. It's 18 years of financial devastation for you and you have no say in the child's well being. What should be mandatory before the birth of any child is a contract or agreement that outlines the total financial plan and custody conditions, so that everyone understands their obligations when the child arrives. As in any contract, there should be an option to opt out of any binding condition that you feel you cannot meet. There should be an option for single birth fathers to opt out if a pregnancy is forced on them. Legal abandonment is then presumed and the birth mother can then choose to either abort, raise the child on her own or put the child up for adoption. This all might sound a bit sanitized, but we have reached a day and age where government agencies are acting on obligations that have never legally been defined. While I strongly don't believe in murdering a child (abortion) for the sake of convenience, there should be other legal options for unwanted births that birth fathers should be fully made aware of. Too many birth fathers just assume they don't have any options. All we have right now for NCP's is legalized government oppression! |
#5
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Lowest of the low
Dave wrote: On Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:45:55 -0500 Werebat wrote Dave wrote: We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of the time. I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to "step up to the plate". That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a later date. When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks! The situation will be corrected BY THE STATE only when it become fiscally beneficial FOR THE STATE to do so. Be that by an increase in revenue or a decrease in expense. What can fathers do to make it EXPENSIVE for the State to continue ignoring their rights? - Ron ^*^ I would love nothing more than making it as expensive as possible for the state to trample on my rights this way! I wonder what would happen if the family court was flooded with motions from people such as myself, asking for visitation and/or custody all around the same time period? What if they had a huge pile of paperwork they had to handle dumped in their laps. It would make sense for them to deal with it by having, at the very least, some kind of default visitation built in along with the support orders. It would also slow down the process for getting support orders in place which might also encourage some people to seek another way of handling support. Since the default notion is that any father should be a decent enough guy to support their own child, the default notion should also be that a father is not dangerous enough to be denied visitation. Of course, there'd have to be a way to keep dangerous parents (both male and female) away from their children. Yep. Of course the key to all of this is -- organization, organization, organization. I'd happily join a local father's rights group -- if there were one. The nearest one I know of is in another state, working to deal with the problems in another state. Right now I've got too much on my plate to form such an organization myself. But Rhode Island is a special case. It's small enough that most people actually KNOW one or more politically influential people. This can be good, and it can be bad. A tiny state like RI is harder to scrape together an organization in, but once it's formed, even a tiny organization probably has more clout than it would elsewhere. - Ron ^*^ |
#6
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Lowest of the low
Werebat wrote: Dave wrote: On Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:45:55 -0500 Werebat wrote Dave wrote: We've all heard the horror stories about people splitting up and losing their kids in a divorce where the laws favor the mother most of the time. I'm in a different group. I'm part of the growing group of unmarried fathers. Many of us (maybe most of us?) were turned into dads against our wishes. We've had the finger wagging lectures about our responsibilities. We've heard about our obligations and how we have to "step up to the plate". That being said, what ever happened when it comes to having any rights? When my son was born all I got was a form to sign that said I was the father and that the mother gets full custody. We go to court and I get assigned a lump of money I have to come up with every week and all the medical bills for the birth of the baby but still no mention of custody or visitation other than it being reserved until a later date. When mom decides she doesn't want me around anymore what am I supposed to do? I can't afford to hire a lawyer. This system sucks! The situation will be corrected BY THE STATE only when it become fiscally beneficial FOR THE STATE to do so. Be that by an increase in revenue or a decrease in expense. What can fathers do to make it EXPENSIVE for the State to continue ignoring their rights? - Ron ^*^ I would love nothing more than making it as expensive as possible for the state to trample on my rights this way! I wonder what would happen if the family court was flooded with motions from people such as myself, asking for visitation and/or custody all around the same time period? What if they had a huge pile of paperwork they had to handle dumped in their laps. It would make sense for them to deal with it by having, at the very least, some kind of default visitation built in along with the support orders. It would also slow down the process for getting support orders in place which might also encourage some people to seek another way of handling support. Since the default notion is that any father should be a decent enough guy to support their own child, the default notion should also be that a father is not dangerous enough to be denied visitation. Of course, there'd have to be a way to keep dangerous parents (both male and female) away from their children. Yep. Of course the key to all of this is -- organization, organization, organization. I'd happily join a local father's rights group -- if there were one. The nearest one I know of is in another state, working to deal with the problems in another state. Right now I've got too much on my plate to form such an organization myself. But Rhode Island is a special case. It's small enough that most people actually KNOW one or more politically influential people. This can be good, and it can be bad. A tiny state like RI is harder to scrape together an organization in, but once it's formed, even a tiny organization probably has more clout than it would elsewhere. - Ron ^*^ I got the perfect name for a Fathers rights organization. Fathers United Just tell the ex-wives that "F.U." is coming. |
#7
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Lowest of the low
I thought you were not in the Gloom and Doom crowd Dave.....LOL |
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