Gloom and doom crowd

We all know that the system as it stands sucks, that's a given. Still,
I don't know why it is that everytime someone comes to this group
looking for help there is always that group that wants to tell you "Oh
you're really ****ed now buddy!" You guys that are doing it are really
hurting everyone that is dealing with the system. Do you also tell
people going in for major surgery that they will probably die too?
It's one thing to offer helpful information but just telling someone
that they should just give up because everything is against them isn't
doing anyone any good at all.

To those of you looking for help, don't let these guys get you down.
It's true that it's not an easy fight because the gloom and doom crowd
is right when they say that many times the NCP gets screwed over
royally. OTOH, there are some victories out there and the child
support/custody system is making some changes back towards being more
fair (even if it's at a snails pace). It would be ashame for anyone to
decide they were already beaten before they even tried. The only way
it will change is if we keep fighting the way things are now.

Dave wrote:
We all know that the system as it stands sucks, that's a given. Still,
I don't know why it is that everytime someone comes to this group
looking for help there is always that group that wants to tell you "Oh
you're really ****ed now buddy!" You guys that are doing it are really
hurting everyone that is dealing with the system. Do you also tell
people going in for major surgery that they will probably die too?
It's one thing to offer helpful information but just telling someone
that they should just give up because everything is against them isn't
doing anyone any good at all.

To those of you looking for help, don't let these guys get you down.
It's true that it's not an easy fight because the gloom and doom crowd
is right when they say that many times the NCP gets screwed over
royally. OTOH, there are some victories out there and the child
support/custody system is making some changes back towards being more
fair (even if it's at a snails pace). It would be ashame for anyone to
decide they were already beaten before they even tried. The only way
it will change is if we keep fighting the way things are now.

You're right, Dave. I think we're all guilty of being negative here
from time to time, but the truth is -- Evil Will Out. It's just a
matter of time and perseverance.

Tammany Hall fell eventually, so will the corrupt CS system.

- Ron ^*^

"Dave" wrote in message
...
We all know that the system as it stands sucks, that's a given. Still,
I don't know why it is that everytime someone comes to this group
looking for help there is always that group that wants to tell you "Oh
you're really ****ed now buddy!" You guys that are doing it are really
hurting everyone that is dealing with the system. Do you also tell
people going in for major surgery that they will probably die too?
It's one thing to offer helpful information but just telling someone
that they should just give up because everything is against them isn't
doing anyone any good at all.

To those of you looking for help, don't let these guys get you down.
It's true that it's not an easy fight because the gloom and doom crowd
is right when they say that many times the NCP gets screwed over
royally. OTOH, there are some victories out there and the child
support/custody system is making some changes back towards being more
fair (even if it's at a snails pace). It would be ashame for anyone to
decide they were already beaten before they even tried. The only way
it will change is if we keep fighting the way things are now.

I have some sympathy for the above sentiments. However, we have to keep
in mind that people should have a realistic view of how the system works.
Just as there are surgeons who make huge amounts of money out of encouraging
surgery, so there are divorce-industry participants--notably lawyers--who
make huge amounts of money from encouraging people to have unrealistic
expectations about what they can expect from litigation.

To follow the analogy through, all the people who had unnecessary heart
surgery at Redding Medical Center in California would have benefited from
someone warning them about what seemed to be going on. And all the fathers
who go into court seeking custody benefit from someone warning them that the
glass ceiling on paternal custody is still firmly in place.

In my view, what's needed is a realistic appraisal of the present system
AND a recognition that litigation by one father standing alone is extremely
unlikely to have any impact, either for the father or for fathers generally.
Developing organizational structure that defends the interests of fathers is
what is needed.

To repeat a quote from Warren Farrell that I've used before, at present
"in the battle of the sexes, only one side shows up." (I see that the
Democratic victories in the U.S. Congress are encouraging some to revive the
effort to pass the so-called equal rights amendment. So this is a
particularly relevant factor now.)

"Dave" wrote in message
...
We all know that the system as it stands sucks, that's a given. Still,
I don't know why it is that everytime someone comes to this group
looking for help there is always that group that wants to tell you "Oh
you're really ****ed now buddy!" You guys that are doing it are really
hurting everyone that is dealing with the system.

Please tell me how it hurts the system when people report their direct
experience with a system that is designed to extract extortionate amounts of
money from NCP's at any cost with no regard to the well being of the NCP?

Where is the equality and justice for all that this system is excused from?
It's supposed to be a court of law, but what do you call it when hard
evidence is ignored & reality is not a guideline.

Family Kourt is nothing more than a government collection agency that has
unlimited power & authority to hold it's victims to an unrealistic standard
that the rest of society couldn't possibly be expected to abide by.

And as usual, it's always the poor man that suffers the worst because they
cannot afford real justice!

IS that negative enough for ya?

"Werebat" wrote in

You're right, Dave. I think we're all guilty of being negative here from
time to time, but the truth is -- Evil Will Out. It's just a matter of
time and perseverance.

Tammany Hall fell eventually, so will the corrupt CS system.

Is there any books available that we can learn to be positive about the C$
system.
The "Joy of Child Support" might be a good seller? lol

Here is some more positive reading:

How to take a 6 month vacation at the State's expense
10 tips to living in poverty
How not to ever get layed off
Freedom from owning any money
Let the state manage your budget
Driving without a license
Taking comfort that your ex is living well with new hubby and your child
support money.

"Dale" wrote

"Werebat" wrote in

You're right, Dave. I think we're all guilty of being negative here from
time to time, but the truth is -- Evil Will Out. It's just a matter of
time and perseverance.

Tammany Hall fell eventually, so will the corrupt CS system.

Is there any books available that we can learn to be positive about the C$
system.
The "Joy of Child Support" might be a good seller? lol
==
I think the point is that the system is BAD but we don't need to be overly
dramatic when newbies drop by
for help. We don't want them driving off a cliff or something. Sticking to
the facts is much more helpful.

"Gini" wrote in

Is there any books available that we can learn to be positive about the
C$ system.
The "Joy of Child Support" might be a good seller? lol
==
I think the point is that the system is BAD but we don't need to be overly
dramatic when newbies drop by
for help. We don't want them driving off a cliff or something. Sticking to
the facts is much more helpful.

Hmmm, when I was first introduced to this system two years ago, I was
positive even when sitting in jail waiting for my hearing. I figured the
judge will look at all the facts and make a logical fair conclusion and all
this nightmare will get straightened out.

All I found out was this is just another government racket and you are just
another number to be processed, they could care less about facts or the well
being of the people involved.

Next!

On Wed, 29 Nov 2006 18:14:25 GMT, "Dale"
wrote:


"Dave" wrote in message
.. .
We all know that the system as it stands sucks, that's a given. Still,
I don't know why it is that everytime someone comes to this group
looking for help there is always that group that wants to tell you "Oh
you're really ****ed now buddy!" You guys that are doing it are really
hurting everyone that is dealing with the system.

Please tell me how it hurts the system when people report their direct
experience with a system that is designed to extract extortionate amounts of
money from NCP's at any cost with no regard to the well being of the NCP?

I never said it hurts to tell what really happened to you. What I said
is it hurts when you just tell someone they are screwed. If you give
your own account of HOW you got screwed thats information that could
be useful, but when you just tell someone they are screwed and leave
it at that, what good does that do? Anyone coming here already knows
they are screwed. What they are looking for is advice on how to get
kissed before they get screwed Seriously, if you say I did xyz and
it got me nowhere, then the next guy would know that a different
approach should be tried.

Where is the equality and justice for all that this system is excused from?
It's supposed to be a court of law, but what do you call it when hard
evidence is ignored & reality is not a guideline.

They are NOT excused. They just think they are. I do have to give them
credit though, where else could someone steal your money, your kids,
tell you not to lose your income stream for 18 or more years then call
it justice with a straight face?

Family Kourt is nothing more than a government collection agency that has
unlimited power & authority to hold it's victims to an unrealistic standard
that the rest of society couldn't possibly be expected to abide by.

And as usual, it's always the poor man that suffers the worst because they
cannot afford real justice!

I agree with you. I'm not saying to sit here and blow sunshine up
someone's ass. I'm saying that we'd get a lot more done if we were
exchanging useful information instead of preaching to the choir.

IS that negative enough for ya?

LOL....

"Dave" wrote in

Where is the equality and justice for all that this system is excused
from?
It's supposed to be a court of law, but what do you call it when hard
evidence is ignored & reality is not a guideline.

They are NOT excused. They just think they are. I do have to give them
credit though, where else could someone steal your money, your kids,
tell you not to lose your income stream for 18 or more years then call
it justice with a straight face?

I used to think that could only happened in the good old USSR.
America, home of the Free is a lost concept!

And as usual, it's always the poor man that suffers the worst because they
cannot afford real justice!

I agree with you. I'm not saying to sit here and blow sunshine up
someone's ass. I'm saying that we'd get a lot more done if we were
exchanging useful information instead of preaching to the choir.

Well Dave, you came to the choir, so sing along:

We are all so sc-rewed......so says the government,
we are all so sc-rewed.......so says the government

Bow to the almighty DA, for he has proclaimed his valour
To hunt us all down, using his limitless power.

With his trusty Sheriff, by his side.
He will win his election, thanks to me & you

chorus:

We.... are ....cri-mi-nals....... felons, deadbeats, bums
We don't..... have e-nough.... mon-ee
We.... are ....cri-mi-nals
and our pen-al-tee is po-ver-tee

Maybe we could play this at the next re-election campain for everyone in
office? LOL