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#11
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
If my ex ever *quit* asking for more, there'd be something wrong with her.
Phil #3 "Batch File" wrote in message .com... If my ex asked me for anything short a punch in the eye, I'd laugh in her face. "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message k.net... But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? |
#12
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
Bob Whiteside wrote:
But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from your ex when you tell her no? Possible answers: (1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my outfit is for the day. (2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend. (3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave YOU. (4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it in the future. In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation. Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and give it to me. (What a wonderful thing divorce is! During MY divorce, my ex devoted a significant amount of energy to insisting that a very old car that I had bought for $200 from the next-door neighbor be valued at $600, because I had fixed it up by repairing the bodywork and buying a new front seat from a junkyard.) |
#13
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
Bob Whiteside wrote:
But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? I hate to sound like a therapist, but what do YOU want from this encounter, Bob? If I were in your shoes, I certainly wouldn't let her have the jewelry, because there's a strong probability that you wouldn't get it back. So the issue is: what reaction you want to elicit from your ex when you tell her no? Possible answers: (1) No, you can't have it. I wear items from the collection all the time, and I make up my mind which piece to wear, according to what my outfit is for the day. (2) No, you can't have it. I lent it to my current girlfriend. (3) No, you can't have it. It's mine, all mine, and the judge gave it to me. I don't remember you giving me back any of the things he gave YOU. (4) No, I prefer to keep the jewelry. I have some uses in mind for it in the future. In all seriousness, I'd go for (4). Without any further explanation. Unless, of course, you want to put it beyond the reach of your ex, and give it to me. (What a wonderful thing divorce is! During MY divorce, my ex devoted a significant amount of energy to insisting that a very old car that I had bought for $200 from the next-door neighbor be valued at $600, because I had fixed it up by repairing the bodywork and buying a new front seat from a junkyard.) |
#14
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
"Phil #3" wrote in message
k.net... If my ex ever *quit* asking for more, there'd be something wrong with her. Phil #3 Sounds like my husbands ex. Keep it short and sweet Bob. Unless you are looking for trouble.. or anyting else... But your post made it sound (to me) as if she already had the jewelry and she wanted to keep it another year??? ~August "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message k.net... But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? |
#15
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
"Phil #3" wrote in message
k.net... If my ex ever *quit* asking for more, there'd be something wrong with her. Phil #3 Sounds like my husbands ex. Keep it short and sweet Bob. Unless you are looking for trouble.. or anyting else... But your post made it sound (to me) as if she already had the jewelry and she wanted to keep it another year??? ~August "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message k.net... But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? |
#16
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message k.net... But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? == I see no problem--If you charge her a $20k deposit. == == |
#17
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message k.net... But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? == I see no problem--If you charge her a $20k deposit. == == |
#18
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
Bob Whiteside wrote:
But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After she pays for the appraisals, of course. Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time." One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her. She may end up with it all, anyway. |
#19
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
Bob Whiteside wrote:
But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After she pays for the appraisals, of course. Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time." One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her. She may end up with it all, anyway. |
#20
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Lookin' For Women's Input . . .
"The DaveŠ" wrote in message ... Bob Whiteside wrote: But men can contribute too. A bunch of years ago I got divorced and one of the major contentions in the property settlement was the value of my ex-wife's jewelry. She claimed it was worth 10 cents on the dollar melted down for quick sale. I told the judge she was low-balling it's value and had appraisals to prove it. In mid-80's dollars the jewelry was worth close to $20,000. Because I bitched so much about her low-ball appraisals for the jewelry, the judge awarded me a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of women's jewelry "to make it fair." That's cool and I've keep it for future use as I've seem fit, like giving it to my daughter as a special gift. Today my ex asked me for the second time to let her wear "our" jewelry for the next year - a freaking year! My first impression is to tell her to go f'herself. How do people here think I ought to respond to her short of telling her to f'herself? Make her sign a paper staing that she acknowledges that it is YOUR jewelry, not hers, then have her give you a cash security deposit of 150% of the current appraised value, which she would forfeit in it's entirety if even one piece were not returned by specific date. After she pays for the appraisals, of course. Ok, seriously. I'd politely say "No. I'm saving it for our daughter and would like to make sure nothing happens to it in the mean time." One thought that entered my mind is that after you give it to your daughter, she may guilt-trip your daughter into giving them to her. She may end up with it all, anyway. Thanks for all the input. I posted this just for fun. The first request was an email about a year ago saying that if I really wanted to make her happy, I'd give her jewelry back. I ignored her email and never responded. I hoped she got the message it still wasn't my job to make her happy. The email I got yesterday was for a "favor" to let her wear one particular piece for a year. I'm thinking of just ignoring this one too. The risk in saying I plan to give the jewelry to our daughter will be met with a counter-request to wear it until I want our daughter to have it. (I was married to this woman long enough to understand how she thinks.) The Dave's response above is the one that really troubles me the most. If she is making requests to get her hands on *my* jewelry, and I give it to our daughter, it is most likely the pressure to get the jewelry back will just be transferred to my daughter. I haven't figured out how to handle that yet. |
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