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#1
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Options when one cannot afford a lawyer?
Hi all,
A very good friend of mine is being screwed over by her ex-husband AND the court system. It's utterly mind-boggling to me and really frustrating! It just makes me so angry. She's a really great mother and is struggling to keep things together, and her ex has nothing better to do than to try and do everything he can to make her more miserable. He does not pay his child support. He refuses to take them to the doctor, but he insists on keeping them on his insurance plan which is the bare minimum plan that you could have. My friend wants to switch the kids to her health insurance plan which is the best one available, but she can't because they are employed at the same company and he will not relinquish the kids from his account and double coverage is not allowed. Every month he takes her to court to get his child support decreased. He does nothing for the children. In fact, he only has 85% custody. He is still trying to do everything he can to claim at least one of them on his taxes. The people in child support services are completely incompetent and it seems that everyone, including court judges automatically favors the father in all this. I have reason to believe that this is partly because my friend is a foreigner and her ex is a white-bread American with a high-powered job. My friend has constantly been told, "You are a terrible mother. The kids NEED their father in their lives." He could care less about his kids." The courts have made numerous rulings in favor of the father saying that their rulings are "in the best interest of the children". At first, I wanted to believe that this guy had some sort of compassion in him; I wanted to believe that he loved his children and maybe was just misguided and a little too self-indulgent to put the needs of his children first rather than his own. I now believe that he is nothing less than a monster and I am saddened that people like him exist. I am an idealist and would love to have faith in our justice system, but after seeing all that my friend has gone through for the past eight years just makes me ashamed to be an American. Sorry for my incoherent ranting. To those of you that made it through this far, I guess the point of my message is that I would love some advice on figuring out what my friend's options are. She can no longer afford a lawyer and I feel that she needs someone or something that can help her get through this. She and her children are being yanked around and it's just NOT RIGHT! I would love to help her, I just have no clue where to begin. Any ideas? Thanks so much. I'm really glad that I discovered this group. Regards, -V |
#2
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Don't feed the troll, folks. - Ron ^*^ V wrote: Hi all, A very good friend of mine is being screwed over by her ex-husband AND the court system. It's utterly mind-boggling to me and really frustrating! It just makes me so angry. She's a really great mother and is struggling to keep things together, and her ex has nothing better to do than to try and do everything he can to make her more miserable. He does not pay his child support. He refuses to take them to the doctor, but he insists on keeping them on his insurance plan which is the bare minimum plan that you could have. My friend wants to switch the kids to her health insurance plan which is the best one available, but she can't because they are employed at the same company and he will not relinquish the kids from his account and double coverage is not allowed. Every month he takes her to court to get his child support decreased. He does nothing for the children. In fact, he only has 85% custody. He is still trying to do everything he can to claim at least one of them on his taxes. The people in child support services are completely incompetent and it seems that everyone, including court judges automatically favors the father in all this. I have reason to believe that this is partly because my friend is a foreigner and her ex is a white-bread American with a high-powered job. My friend has constantly been told, "You are a terrible mother. The kids NEED their father in their lives." He could care less about his kids." The courts have made numerous rulings in favor of the father saying that their rulings are "in the best interest of the children". At first, I wanted to believe that this guy had some sort of compassion in him; I wanted to believe that he loved his children and maybe was just misguided and a little too self-indulgent to put the needs of his children first rather than his own. I now believe that he is nothing less than a monster and I am saddened that people like him exist. I am an idealist and would love to have faith in our justice system, but after seeing all that my friend has gone through for the past eight years just makes me ashamed to be an American. Sorry for my incoherent ranting. To those of you that made it through this far, I guess the point of my message is that I would love some advice on figuring out what my friend's options are. She can no longer afford a lawyer and I feel that she needs someone or something that can help her get through this. She and her children are being yanked around and it's just NOT RIGHT! I would love to help her, I just have no clue where to begin. Any ideas? Thanks so much. I'm really glad that I discovered this group. Regards, -V |
#3
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Excuse me??
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#4
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V wrote: Excuse me?? "He does nothing for the children. In fact, he only has 85% custody." Come on. You won't fool anyone with this. - Ron ^*^ |
#5
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That was a mistake and I would think that would be obvious had you read
the rest of my message. My friend has 85% custody and the father has 15%. I believe that he sees them two weekends a month. I would appreciate an apology from you. Thanks. |
#6
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"V" wrote in message oups.com... That was a mistake and I would think that would be obvious had you read the rest of my message. My friend has 85% custody and the father has 15%. I believe that he sees them two weekends a month. I would appreciate an apology from you. Thanks. I have to say, V, I wondered about that, too. My question would be: Does he have 15% custody voluntarily? Or is that what was forced on him? Does he take the children during his 15% of the time? |
#7
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"teachrmama" wrote in message ... "V" wrote in message oups.com... That was a mistake and I would think that would be obvious had you read the rest of my message. My friend has 85% custody and the father has 15%. I believe that he sees them two weekends a month. I would appreciate an apology from you. Thanks. I have to say, V, I wondered about that, too. My question would be: Does he have 15% custody voluntarily? Or is that what was forced on him? Does he take the children during his 15% of the time? ==== I wondered about the part that says he files to lower child support every month. That's gotta be pricey. ==== ==== |
#8
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Thanks for responding, teachrmama.
The 15% wasn't forced on him. He used to have 50% custody, but gradually started giving up more and more of his time to pursue other interests such as travelling around the world with his girlfriend. He makes TWICE as much as my friend and he keeps taking her to court every few weeks to get the support reduced more and more. Initially, she was paying HIM which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. But she fought and fought and after two years they finally ruled that he should pay her instead. It's unfortunate that back pay isn't allowed. |
#9
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It IS pricey. But he has the money AND his number one goal paying my
friend back, (which he has admitted to in the past). Paying her back for what, we're still not sure. He has everything he wants. New woman, new house, new car, great job. I don't get it |
#10
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It IS pricey. But he has the money AND apparently his number one goal
is to pay my friend back (which he has admitted to in the past). Pay her back for what, we're still not sure. He has everything he wants. New woman, new house, new car, great job. Why would he use his kids like this to get back at his ex-wife? I don't get it |
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