No fluid/20 week induction update

Yeah, I usually just imply that he was stillborn. It's easier that way.

Thank you for your words.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

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"Kathy Cole" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 04:00:37 GMT, "Jamie Clark"
wrote:

Since by the time we started to induce I was almost 24 weeks along,
there was the chance that Nathan could be born alive, which is
something I didn't think I could handle. We made the decision to
have a shot given to him to stop his heart, so that he would be
born still. So, our last visions of Nathan alive were via u/s, as
we watched the doctor give him the shot that stopped his heart.
It was the absolute hardest thing that I've ever had to do. And,
it's something that I don't talk about much, compared to how much
I do talk about Nathan in general, and the other specifics of our
loss. It's the hardest part.

The hardest part sounds very accurate; I don't recall you describing
Nathan's loss in that degree of detail before, and I'm so very sorry for
your horrible, painful loss of him.

I am so sorry to read your story. You sound like an amazingly strong woman,
with a lot of courage. My heart goes out to you and your family...

"Emily" wrote in message
news:m1t%b.402942$I06.4380323@attbi_s01...
Hi,

We saw the perinatologist this morning. She was very kind,
and took lots of time with us and answered all of our questions.
We took another look at the baby on the u/s and saw absolutely
no fluid this time. It seems that (on top of everything else,
and probably not unrelatedly) I'm leaking fluid as well.

We confirmed that the chances of carrying this baby to term
and having it be viable and healthy are very, very slim. We
are also optimistic that the cause of the problem is unlikely
to be a recurring one, so that we can hope for an unproblematic
pregnancy in the future.

Going through all of the options, it seems that the course
with the least risk to my health and future fertility is
an induction. On Monday and Tuesday I have appointments for
something to soften my cervix (don't know exactly what yet),
and then the induction will be on Wednesday.

The baby is still wiggling and squirming, even though there's
no room without any fluid. It's pushing on the uterine wall
(which is actually kinda painful). The perinatologist says
that it must be a strong baby to do that -- I guess good muscle
tone tends to run in our family. DS has always been very strong,
practically could handle his own head (strong neck) from birth,
walked at 9.5 months, etc.

I asked about donating milk, and the perinatologist said she
would look into it for me. There's a chance that it could
actually be used in the NICU at the hospital where I will
deliver. Otherwise, there aren't any milk banks in my city,
but I will look into sending it to one.

So, I wish this could be over sooner, so I could get on
with things more quickly. It's very strange to be grieving already
for someone who is still alive. My department has been very
supportive and accommodating, and my class is taken care of
for the rest of the quarter. I should be able to teach next
quarter (starting 3/29) and think that I'll enjoy being able
to throw myself into my work.

DS is, of course, a huge comfort. I can imagine that this would
be 100x harder if it were my first pregnancy, and only harder
still after previous pregnancy loss. I am very much looking
forward to trying again (once my body has had a chance to recover
so that I start off on the best possible footing), and to
seeing lots of fluid on a ultrasound some day soon, and even
more so to cuddling a newborn!

Thanks again to everyone here for being so supportive.
I expect I'll keep posting as I go through this experience
and then fade away again until I'm pg again.

--
Emily
mom to Toby 5/1/02
#2 EDD 7/19/04/induction scheduled for 3/2/04