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#1
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what do you think?
Hi all that are aware of our situation. A turn of events hit our household last
night when we picked up the mail. Seems after almost 11 months, and two weeks after my daughter sought financial support from the father of her baby she is being sued for primary physical custody of her baby by the father and his parents, on the grounds that due to my daughters mental health the baby is in danger? The paperwork states that it is an emergency pettition for custody in motions court and my daughter and I are ordered to appear this wednsday with the baby. So basically if the conference officer decides the allegations are true and the baby is in any danger she will be taken right there from us and go to the father until a custody hearing. God knows I am feeling sick inside right now, It is being claimed that the baby is being abused by her mother this is absolutely not true. I was aware of my daughters relapse in her emotional health and we have been working on helping my daughter get through the fact that the father does not want to be with her, yes it has been a struggle, yes on several occasions my daughter went to his house to try and reconcile, yes she told him she rather die than be without him,yes she finally made the decision to drop out of school recently to focus on her child, yes she drank on at least one occasion while away from home during the fathers weekend to have the baby, and was caught underage drinking and charged. I knew I had to quit my job to help my daughter through her emotional distress and we have been working with a therapist and she has been back on her medication and has been doing her part in her recovery. The baby was never in any danger thier claims are of the past month, where my daughter did twice leave my house and stay for a week at her friends each time with my knowledge, I was in touch with her and the friends parent and decided that what my daughter was telling me was a real and painful issue for her, our house reminded her of the father of her baby too much because he was here everyday except for work hours and after 10 p.m. when he went home, for the first 7 months of the babies life. She kept asking me for us to move and I just could not afford a move right now. My point is when they were together my daughter cared for her child fed her,bathed her with help, and for the first month of summer she was the one who was home with the baby from 5 a.m. till 2-3 p.m. when I would get home from work, up to the month of mid July when she and her boyfriend split up. Then her grief of the breakup began interfereing with her sleep pattern, she was breaking down in sobs over and over again, and we had to start filling in the gaps again with baby care, here and there for my daughter to sleep when she could. The father had stopped supplying the diapers and food he had been up until the breakup and I had to step in and discuss this with his father and I thought it was understood that we expected him to continue, We should not have had to call every week to say "we need food" but that is what happened and for three months we would call let them know and a few days later they would bring something. My daughter did not want to sue for support money ( for fear of him getting angry with her) so I left that go figuring as long as he continued to do the diaper , food thing. On several occasions I just went and bought food frustrated with thier lack of concern in being consistent. My daughter recently said he is not gonna get back with me so now she didn't care if she ****ed him off asking for financial help and so I took her to file. I told the father, we left it go at him bringing the food because he needed to do something, but that eventually he must have known it would come to supporting the baby this way he said" yes". He told my daughter he would fight it and even cutt back on his work hours after he received the papers. Had I have known that these materialistic people would then use my daughters mental health issues as a tool to take the baby to avoid paying support, I would have instructed my daughter to let it go . How dare these people behave this way over supporting this baby. My daughters mental heath was never a problem to them up until now.As it is the fathers mother takes the same damn medication my daughter is on ? Hello? We will fight tooth and nail to not have this babies life as she has lived in the home that she knows and the people that have been there for her since before birth, that have done nothing but brought her to her 11th month healthy and happy, developing ahead of schedule be taken away from her for the reasons that are obvious to me this is retaliation , a selfish materialistc attitude of these people that are not doing this in the best interest of this baby but in the best interest of what they do not want to do, help financially support this baby. Heh did I tell you about the time the paternal grandmother took this sleeping baby out of a coat she had purchased for the baby ,on our front door step upon returning the baby from a visit ? Claiming she needed it , the sad truth being she would be back the next day to pick the baby up again ? We verbalised the baby needed clothes, shoes, we got nothing.So again we went out and bought what the baby needed without thier help.Yeah this is who I am dealing with , last week, the baby was sick on Sunday so I called to make her a doc. appt. on monday which I could only get at 4 p.m. My daughter tried to call the father to let him know she was sick but could not get through, she then left a hand written note with her guidance counselor to have it given to the father . Well, communications failed, so on this day that the paternal grandmother is supposed to pick up the baby for a visit at 2:30 , shows up on our doorstep at a 1/4 to 4 as we were leaving for the drs appt. and I said didn't he tell you the baby is sick and we are taking her to the doc? Well She goes off ranting No , I dont see him he works, she stomps off our porch gets into her car and peels out throwing stones up ! No "whats wrong with the baby" no care but that she was inconvenienced showing up an hour and fifteen minutes late anyway. Now they are supposed to return the baby tonight at 9 p.m. I guess we will see..................and what ****es me off to no end is that they have begun to use this baby as a weapon. I do not want this baby to be unhappy ever. Theres more , there is lots more, but I am tired of ranting now. We were filing papers this Tues. for joint shared custody with everything staying as it has been for the past almost 5 months since the kids broke up, Guess not, guess it has to be a fight now.This is a damn shame. Bev |
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#3
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Hi I am Missy and new to this newsgroup. I have been reading your messages and I feel for the situation that you are in. I am a single mother of three wonderful children. I do not receive support from their father nor do I fight for it right now. I am very lucky to have my parents. They allowed me to move back in with them and they are helping me out just as you are supporting your daughter and grandchild. They way that you explained how the father acted to me is he really doesn't want the baby and he is only doing it out of anger that he has to actually support the baby. Hang in there it will work out. I know that where I am from it takes a lot to take a baby away from a mother who has a network of support as she does. Just fight for that baby because it sound that she is in ahome that wants her and loves her. Not somwhere just because. |
#4
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"MissMissy657" wrote in message ... Hi I am Missy and new to this newsgroup. I have been reading your messages and I feel for the situation that you are in. I am a single mother of three wonderful children. I do not receive support from their father nor do I fight for it right now. I am very lucky to have my parents. They allowed me to move back in with them and they are helping me out just as you are supporting your daughter and grandchild. They way that you explained how the father acted to me is he really doesn't want the baby and he is only doing it out of anger that he has to actually support the baby. Hang in there it will work out. I know that where I am from it takes a lot to take a baby away from a mother who has a network of support as she does. Just fight for that baby because it sound that she is in ahome that wants her and loves her. Not somwhere just because. Worse advice could not have been given. |
#5
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"Karen O'Mara" wrote in message om... (Bebelestrnge0721) wrote in message ... Hi all that are aware of our situation. A turn of events hit our household last night when we picked up the mail. Seems after almost 11 months, and two weeks [snip] It's seems possible to me that the paternal grandparents are not materialistic and are petitioning with genuine intentions for the sake of the baby. Your daughter does not seem fit to be a mother right now. If you feel you are fit, perhaps you should try and adopt the baby. Karen That is not an option because it would require consent from the father. I would say it is better than 50/50 odds that primary custody will be awarded to father at this point, and the mother will be required to pay child support. |
#6
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"P. Fritz" wrote in message ... "Karen O'Mara" wrote in message om... (Bebelestrnge0721) wrote in message ... Hi all that are aware of our situation. A turn of events hit our household last night when we picked up the mail. Seems after almost 11 months, and two weeks [snip] It's seems possible to me that the paternal grandparents are not materialistic and are petitioning with genuine intentions for the sake of the baby. Your daughter does not seem fit to be a mother right now. If you feel you are fit, perhaps you should try and adopt the baby. Karen That is not an option because it would require consent from the father. I would say it is better than 50/50 odds that primary custody will be awarded to father at this point, and the mother will be required to pay child support. yeah right Paul........ you really think the system would do that? lol (make the mother pay support) How you doing by the way? |
#7
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"Tiffany" wrote in message ... "P. Fritz" wrote in message ... "Karen O'Mara" wrote in message om... (Bebelestrnge0721) wrote in message ... Hi all that are aware of our situation. A turn of events hit our household last night when we picked up the mail. Seems after almost 11 months, and two weeks [snip] It's seems possible to me that the paternal grandparents are not materialistic and are petitioning with genuine intentions for the sake of the baby. Your daughter does not seem fit to be a mother right now. If you feel you are fit, perhaps you should try and adopt the baby. Karen That is not an option because it would require consent from the father. I would say it is better than 50/50 odds that primary custody will be awarded to father at this point, and the mother will be required to pay child support. yeah right Paul........ you really think the system would do that? lol (make the mother pay support) I should have said 'ordered'.......they will order CS from the mom, but doubtful they would enforce it. How you doing by the way? Hanging in there........doing lots of chauffeur work LOL. Looking forward to New Yeas in the Carribean again :-) |
#8
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Subject: what do you think?
From: (Karen O'Mara) Date: 11/14/2004 7:49 PM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: (Bebelestrnge0721) wrote in message ... Hi all that are aware of our situation. A turn of events hit our household last night when we picked up the mail. Seems after almost 11 months, and two weeks [snip] It's seems possible to me that the paternal grandparents are not materialistic and are petitioning with genuine intentions for the sake of the baby. I do wish I could agree for the sake of my granddaughter this to be true.......there is a lot I have not gotten into and I can assure you it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck and I intend on proving this . Your daughter does not seem fit to be a mother right now. We have both the visiting nurse that has been involved since the beggining of the pregnancy, and the mobil therapist that we have had involved in our family for years, willing to testify that in thier proffesional opinions , my daughter is , has been and will continue to be able to be a fit mother. If you feel you are fit, perhaps you should try and adopt the baby. Well yes I do feel I am fit........if I felt my daughter was a danger to her child I would have done something a long time ago. There has been a lot of emotional abuse by both the father of this baby and his mother. Especially his mother who never stopped telling these kids how stupid they are and should abort this baby throughout the pregnancy. As well has said on several occasions that " she wasn't gonna quit her job and raise this KID" So whats the difference now? My daughter asked for support. Thanks Karen, for your response. Karen |
#10
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Subject: what do you think?
From: "Tiffany" Date: 11/15/2004 10:03 AM Eastern Standard Time Message-id: "P. Fritz" wrote in message ... "Karen O'Mara" wrote in message om... (Bebelestrnge0721) wrote in message ... Hi all that are aware of our situation. A turn of events hit our household last night when we picked up the mail. Seems after almost 11 months, and two weeks [snip] It's seems possible to me that the paternal grandparents are not materialistic and are petitioning with genuine intentions for the sake of the baby. Your daughter does not seem fit to be a mother right now. If you feel you are fit, perhaps you should try and adopt the baby. Karen That is not an option because it would require consent from the father. I would say it is better than 50/50 odds that primary custody will be awarded to father at this point, and the mother will be required to pay child support. yeah right Paul........ you really think the system would do that? lol (make the mother pay support) Yes Tiff, happens all the time , as it should be. How you doing by the way? |
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