parenting / discipline books

How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get
frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive
are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful
behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I
have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I
have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I
feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and
punishment.

Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to
admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by
instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything
that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of
mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to
others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes
up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I
can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift,
and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree
with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting.

I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was
waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what
to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that
makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible,
empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome
compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned
the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different
educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time.

Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there?
I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own
upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who
gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two
in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior,
sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy
to answer in a usenet post.

Thanks

S

In article , Stephanie says...

How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get
frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive
are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful
behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I
have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I
have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I
feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and
punishment.

Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to
admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by
instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything
that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of
mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to
others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes
up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I
can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift,
and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree
with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting.

I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was
waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what
to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that
makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible,
empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome
compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned
the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different
educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time.

Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there?
I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own
upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who
gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two
in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior,
sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy
to answer in a usenet post.

But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in the
marketplace of ideas.

My parenting book has been misc.kids.

Banty

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie
says...

How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get
frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I
beleive
are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful
behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what
I
have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since
I
have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I
feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and
punishment.

Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is
to
admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by
instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything
that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of
mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to
others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that
comes
up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I
can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift,
and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I
agree
with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting.

I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was
waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about
what
to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that
makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible,
empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome
compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I
questioned
the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different
educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time.

Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there?
I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own
upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who
gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two
in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior,
sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy
to answer in a usenet post.

But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in
the
marketplace of ideas.

My parenting book has been misc.kids.

Banty



I suppose if you make an extended study.

Stephanie wrote:
[snip]
Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to
admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by
instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything
that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of
mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to
[snip]
Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there?
I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own
upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who
gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two
in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior,
sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy
to answer in a usenet post.

You're not a suprefreak - doesn't everyone ignore a crying baby to check
all one's parenting books about "what to do with a crying baby"?

Although I think misc.kids has had the most effect on my parenting style.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Stephanie wrote:
How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

I read them. I usually pick up at least a little something
from any book that passes the flip-through-it-in-the-bookstore test.
I think it's helpful, though obviously not every technique works
well with every child.

I do think it's possible to go overboard with by-the-book
parenting, but reading parenting books doesn't mean that one is
necessarily going to do that ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka

In article , Stephanie says...


"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie
says...

How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get
frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I
beleive
are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful
behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what
I
have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since
I
have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I
feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and
punishment.

Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is
to
admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by
instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything
that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of
mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to
others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that
comes
up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I
can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift,
and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I
agree
with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting.

I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was
waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about
what
to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that
makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible,
empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome
compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I
questioned
the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different
educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time.

Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there?
I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own
upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who
gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two
in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior,
sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy
to answer in a usenet post.

But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in
the
marketplace of ideas.

My parenting book has been misc.kids.

Banty



I suppose if you make an extended study.



It's not bad if you've kept up with it over the years...

Banty

Banty wrote:
In article , Stephanie says...

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie
says...

How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get
frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I
beleive
are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful
behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what
I
have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since
I
have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I
feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and
punishment.

Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is
to
admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by
instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything
that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of
mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to
others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that
comes
up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I
can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift,
and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I
agree
with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting.

I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was
waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about
what
to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that
makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible,
empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome
compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I
questioned
the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different
educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time.

Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there?
I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own
upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who
gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two
in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior,
sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy
to answer in a usenet post.

But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in
the
marketplace of ideas.

My parenting book has been misc.kids.

Banty

I suppose if you make an extended study.

It's not bad if you've kept up with it over the years...

Banty

My mother subscribed to Parents magazine. My sister used to read it
and try to figure out what techniques she was using from it.

On Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:10:32 -0500, Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Stephanie wrote:
How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

I read them. I usually pick up at least a little something
from any book that passes the flip-through-it-in-the-bookstore test.
I think it's helpful, though obviously not every technique works
well with every child.

I've read many books and none of them really did much until out of
desparation, I tried one book's 5 week program and found that it changed
everything. It really truly worked for me. It is the only book I would
ever say changed my life, at least at that time.

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie
says...


"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie
says...

How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how
many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get
frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I
beleive
are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful
behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs
what
I
have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially
since
I
have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when
I
feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and
punishment.

Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is
to
admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by
instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that
anything
that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of
mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen
to
others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that
comes
up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him).
I
can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn
Swift,
and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I
agree
with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting.

I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn
was
waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about
what
to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that
makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of
responsible,
empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome
compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I
questioned
the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the
different
educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time.

Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there?
I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your
own
upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one
who
gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or
two
in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior,
sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very
easy
to answer in a usenet post.

But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in
the
marketplace of ideas.

My parenting book has been misc.kids.

Banty



I suppose if you make an extended study.



It's not bad if you've kept up with it over the years...

Banty


I am certainly not criticizing the group by any stretch. I just found it
inadequare when looking to replace a whole mindset from what I grew up with,
you know?

In article , Stephanie says...


"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie
says...


"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie
says...

How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how
many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to
incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein?

Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get
frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I
beleive
are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful
behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs
what
I
have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially
since
I
have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when
I
feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and
punishment.

Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is
to
admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by
instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that
anything
that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of
mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen
to
others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that
comes
up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him).
I
can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn
Swift,
and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I
agree
with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting.

I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn
was
waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about
what
to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that
makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of
responsible,
empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome
compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I
questioned
the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the
different
educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time.

Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there?
I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your
own
upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one
who
gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or
two
in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior,
sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very
easy
to answer in a usenet post.

But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in
the
marketplace of ideas.

My parenting book has been misc.kids.

Banty



I suppose if you make an extended study.



It's not bad if you've kept up with it over the years...

Banty


I am certainly not criticizing the group by any stretch. I just found it
inadequare when looking to replace a whole mindset from what I grew up with,
you know?

That's fine. Just like with changing health habits, different people find
different venues work for themselves.

Probably not to the same extent as you, but I needed to find new patterns for my
parenting, too. I find a discussion - one that doesn't get molded or squelched,
to be a great way to work these things out. There ideas get tested, and
questions answered. Usenet is ideal for that. And I'm highly suspicious of
anything formulaic.

Banty