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#1
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parenting / discipline books
How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many
of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and punishment. Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift, and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting. I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible, empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time. Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there? I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior, sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy to answer in a usenet post. Thanks S |
#2
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parenting / discipline books
In article , Stephanie says...
How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and punishment. Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift, and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting. I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible, empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time. Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there? I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior, sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy to answer in a usenet post. But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in the marketplace of ideas. My parenting book has been misc.kids. Banty |
#3
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parenting / discipline books
"Banty" wrote in message ... In article , Stephanie says... How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and punishment. Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift, and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting. I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible, empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time. Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there? I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior, sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy to answer in a usenet post. But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in the marketplace of ideas. My parenting book has been misc.kids. Banty I suppose if you make an extended study. |
#4
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parenting / discipline books
Stephanie wrote:
[snip] Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to [snip] Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there? I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior, sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy to answer in a usenet post. You're not a suprefreak - doesn't everyone ignore a crying baby to check all one's parenting books about "what to do with a crying baby"? Although I think misc.kids has had the most effect on my parenting style. -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
#5
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parenting / discipline books
Stephanie wrote:
How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? I read them. I usually pick up at least a little something from any book that passes the flip-through-it-in-the-bookstore test. I think it's helpful, though obviously not every technique works well with every child. I do think it's possible to go overboard with by-the-book parenting, but reading parenting books doesn't mean that one is necessarily going to do that ;-) Best wishes, Ericka |
#6
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parenting / discipline books
In article , Stephanie says...
"Banty" wrote in message ... In article , Stephanie says... How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and punishment. Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift, and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting. I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible, empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time. Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there? I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior, sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy to answer in a usenet post. But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in the marketplace of ideas. My parenting book has been misc.kids. Banty I suppose if you make an extended study. It's not bad if you've kept up with it over the years... Banty |
#7
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parenting / discipline books
Banty wrote:
In article , Stephanie says... "Banty" wrote in message ... In article , Stephanie says... How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and punishment. Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift, and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting. I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible, empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time. Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there? I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior, sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy to answer in a usenet post. But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in the marketplace of ideas. My parenting book has been misc.kids. Banty I suppose if you make an extended study. It's not bad if you've kept up with it over the years... Banty My mother subscribed to Parents magazine. My sister used to read it and try to figure out what techniques she was using from it. |
#8
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parenting / discipline books
On Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:10:32 -0500, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Stephanie wrote: How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? I read them. I usually pick up at least a little something from any book that passes the flip-through-it-in-the-bookstore test. I think it's helpful, though obviously not every technique works well with every child. I've read many books and none of them really did much until out of desparation, I tried one book's 5 week program and found that it changed everything. It really truly worked for me. It is the only book I would ever say changed my life, at least at that time. |
#9
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parenting / discipline books
"Banty" wrote in message ... In article , Stephanie says... "Banty" wrote in message ... In article , Stephanie says... How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and punishment. Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift, and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting. I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible, empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time. Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there? I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior, sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy to answer in a usenet post. But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in the marketplace of ideas. My parenting book has been misc.kids. Banty I suppose if you make an extended study. It's not bad if you've kept up with it over the years... Banty I am certainly not criticizing the group by any stretch. I just found it inadequare when looking to replace a whole mindset from what I grew up with, you know? |
#10
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parenting / discipline books
In article , Stephanie says...
"Banty" wrote in message ... In article , Stephanie says... "Banty" wrote in message ... In article , Stephanie says... How many people have read them? And of those ofyou who read them, how many of you found one or more that resonated well enough that you tried to incorporate thinking and techniques presented therein? Every time the conversation of spanking comes up in a thread, I get frustrated at my inability to express effective alternatives whcih I beleive are totally saving my children and I from extreme unhappiness and awful behavior. But how could I possibly express in a few short paragraphs what I have learned in reading my three or four favorite books, especially since I have to go back and re-read or at least skim them from time to time when I feel my rudder is pointing me back to my heritage of shame, fear and punishment. Do other people share my father-in-laws view that to search out ideas is to admit to being a crappy parent? And that parenting is to be done by instinct, by what feels right at the moment? It seems to me that anything that is worth doing is worth doing thoughtfully. It is not a matter of mindlessly accepting whatever I read, not would I expect that to happen to others. I can read that right wing doc whose name escapes me (all that comes up is Doctor ****stick, whcih I confgess is what my husband calls him). I can read him and know that I think he is dead wrong. I read Madilyn Swift, and though her take on the state of parenting is bordering on rabid, I agree with most of what she says about good parenting and less good parenting. I know I read everything there was to read on sleep when my firstborn was waking up a zillion (seeming) times a night. When I was clueless about what to do with disipline, I did the same. I chose the subset of reading that makes the most sense to me, that offers the best outcomes of responsible, empathetic, thoughtful children. I LOVE the possibility of that outcome compared to the outcome of say, not spitting at the table. When I questioned the appropriateness of my child's education, I read books on the different educational philosophies. And on I expect it to go for some time. Am I a super freak? Do others of you seek out different ideas out there? I'll bet you do. Do any of you have to almost completely replace your own upbringing with another set of tools and techniques? Am I the only one who gets frustrated sometimes by an inability to express in a paragraph or two in response to some posts on this board? Discipline, sleep, behavior, sometimes nursing issues... none of these issues that arise seem very easy to answer in a usenet post. But in many many Usenet posts, one's parenting philosphy can be found in the marketplace of ideas. My parenting book has been misc.kids. Banty I suppose if you make an extended study. It's not bad if you've kept up with it over the years... Banty I am certainly not criticizing the group by any stretch. I just found it inadequare when looking to replace a whole mindset from what I grew up with, you know? That's fine. Just like with changing health habits, different people find different venues work for themselves. Probably not to the same extent as you, but I needed to find new patterns for my parenting, too. I find a discussion - one that doesn't get molded or squelched, to be a great way to work these things out. There ideas get tested, and questions answered. Usenet is ideal for that. And I'm highly suspicious of anything formulaic. Banty |
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