Runnin from Custodial Parent

Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
Gini wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote
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I dunno--I was a facilitator of my ex's relationship with the kids. When
he
moved 4 hours away to go to graduate school, I delivered the boys to him
as much as possible. I had a reliable car while he was driving a beater
pickup
that I didn't really care to have the boys travel in. When we arrived at
his house, he and his
then current lady had lunch/snacks for me. I would have done this if we
were still married and he were hours away in grad school. *Divorce should
not
divvy up children.* Ever.


How often did you make that trip? To go along with the original court
order we had for parenting time, I would have to be making either two or
four 16 hour round trip drives a week...and her father isn't in TN for
graduate school, or any real need other than not being capable of
supporting himself.
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In my case, the kids needs outranked whatever issues arose between my ex and
I so travel/money
simply wasn't a factor other than the logistics. I had very carefully chosen
the man I wanted to father my kids
and when they were concieved (well, one was adopted), I guaranteed them a
dad. There wasn't any,
"I'm not picking up slack for you," etc.. Yeah, they couldn't see him every
day or every weekend.
We just did it as much as possible--more times than I could count, however.
When my ex later moved
in with his mother to take care of her, the distance was about 50 miles and
we met halfway with the
kids. I didn't view the relationship between my kids and their dad as a part
of my relationship with him.
The dynamics were dad/kids and mom/kids--not mom/dad--well, except the time
our younger son had to
go to John's Hopkins for an evaluation of a heart condition. My ex and I
both took him. I drove. He paid for the gas.
Childhood is temporary and fast. I had no problem sticking it out for the
boys. I owed them that.



If it were a 16-hour round trip, you would have done the same? If he
lived closer, I would not have a problem working somekind of arrangement
out, but she is in school, and I have a job. In my situation, it is
simply not feasible.

--

Sarah Gray