Opinions.....is this rude?

"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"Christine" wrote in message
...
I'd say it was sad that you are dividing the
family into "his" and "ours". You sound like a
very reluctant stepmother

YOU HAVE NO IDEA OW GOOD I AM TO THE KIDS!

I just meant that I would rather have m 12 week old baby at home, she
HAS traveled and quit WELL! but I think THIS vacation is for OLDER
children......
MY DH EVEN SAYS the kids enjoy MY company beter than there OWN mothers!

I didnt think it was rude to STAY HOME!


you sound mental!


You asked for opinions. There's no reason to get all ****y because
they're
not what you wanted to hear.


Denise

I would have to agree with Denise. You did ask for opinions and maybe you
should of put that into your blurb.

Kay

Denise Anderson wrote:
The water park might not be fun, but personally, I'd enjoy the quiet time in
a hotel room by myself.

Hotels are great! I tag along whenever DH goes to a conference because
I love just sitting there, ordering room service and movies, and going
for a swim! :-) The only thing I hate is when they start banging on
the door because they want to come in and clean. ;-) I always make a
point of going for a walk at least once per day so that I can do the
usual tourist things, but sometimes that isn't quite early enough for
the cleaning staff's tastes.

We've got another one coming up in November. It will be our first with
the baby. Woohoo! It will be so weird! I'm not sure what I'll be able
to bring for the baby to sleep in. Yes, that's my worry, believe it or
not. I think everything else will be pretty easy to deal with (unless
there is illness or something).

Whew you guys are so easy to rowl up....LOL....

thank you all for the advice..for the most part it was all very good
advice...;-))

I guess like someone mentioned, I only give a portion of the details as
we all do,

But we ( ALL of us ) are a very family, and we ALL have a lot of love
for each other....
My SD's do love me and me them...

DH...is a =91=91going away=92=92 type of guy...and we have gone MANY
places through the summer,even though Chloe is just a few months..ie.
resorts, camp, amusement parks ( many amusement parks..;-))....spent
MANY days at parks...etc...we are VERY busy...!

but the reason I didnt want to join in is because DH usually DOES like
to do something with just one girl at a time....OR both girls....
and it is a big park with big water slides....

the reason I cant take the stroller is because it is an indoor park and
the WHOLE park is very WET!.....and call me whatever, but I dont want
chloe getting soaked....when she can sit up, then maybe she could sit in
water..lol....PLUS,
she would poop and pee in the water....lol...

its only a 3 day trip, and I think DH should understand that we just
would have a better time HERE...it will give US time to spend alone
too.(.Chloe and I ...;-))

the hotel, does not have anything else in it for us to do.....and no,
theres nothing outside of the hotel...besides DH is too paranoid for us
to walk the streets in a strange place alone...)...in canada there are
TONS of things to look at, that I could stroll her around,,,BUT its been
raining like crazy......and i just think...ESPECIALLY the day before her
baptisim, it would be best to sit out this one...

All the other places we've gone this summer I KNEW there was a nice
place to walk her in her stroller, but I dont want to do it for 3
days..lol...and the resort was FUN for all of us, it was indoors and
there was entertainment, etc. I dont want to sound like just because I
cant ride then I dont want to go,,,I would just rather her be here with
me,,in her home..;-)

Oh if you guys only knew how much we all did together..LOL.....but I
know you have no way of knowing...lol.....and I wouldnt trade my family
for ANYTHING...;-))...

I think DH WANTS to take the girls....and I WANT to stay home, but were
afraid of one being ****ed...

I dont feel too guilty because he took the girls to a big amusement park
last month....and he said he did not want Chloe to come because he didnt
want the kids to have any distractions,,,LOL.....I didnt know we were a
distraction...LOL.....But I didnt care....I like to be home with Chloe.
BUT i did want to stroll her in the park, but they didnt want me to
go...;(

Now next year...bring on the beach...;-))
were even talking Hawaii, where we honeymooned..;-))....I think she will
be able to walk a little and at least sit up....;-)

I do thank you all for your honest advice...;-)

Chrissy & Chloe....

"Vicky Bilaniuk" wrote in message
. ..


We've got another one coming up in November. It will be our first with
the baby. Woohoo! It will be so weird! I'm not sure what I'll be able
to bring for the baby to sleep in. Yes, that's my worry, believe it or
not. I think everything else will be pretty easy to deal with (unless
there is illness or something).

Most hotels can provide cots. And you can call ahead to make sure their
safe ones. We've stayed at some hotels that had some pretty nasty cots.. Or
you get a cheap pack and play from a consignment store to bring with you.

Denise

Jamie Clark wrote:

Sorry Christine, but I agree with what Gloria wrote. At least from what we
"see" here on the ng, you seem to post several times about issues between
you and dh, and his kids and you and Chloe. It feels very separatist and
divisive, although you may not mean it that way. I think family time is
really important, and when you married dh, your family became You, Him, his
two girls, and now Chloe. I think spending family time together on a
vacation is a good thing to do, even if it's not the vacation of your
dreams.

I don't think planning a vacation with your kids, wife, and 12 week old is
rude. I think it's nice. Perhaps the timing is off, but that's another
issue.

Maybe part of the problem, here, is that he seems to have planned it
totally one-sided, i.e. without her input. Maybe she's feeling left out
and is resenting that. If so, then perhaps she can suggest something to
do, and then go and do it.


Since you asked, I say go. Change your attitude about it, but go. Have a
wonderful time, bonding with dh, bonding more with his girls, which you
already have a good relationship with, letting them bond with Chloe, and
letting dh bond with Chloe. Chloe will be fine at the beach -- bring
sunscreen and extra clothes. She'll be fine at the water park -- often
times they actually have rental stroller. Perhaps bring a Baby Bjorn for
you to wear her around. Maybe dh can watch her a bit while you go play with
the older girls in the water. Plus, they usually have kiddie pools too, so
you can take Chloe in that and let her splash her feet about.

Sounds like a great trip to me! Since you asked.

Me too. I'm envious. Personally, I would most definitely go. As it
is, I've got a hermit of a DH, so the only vacations I ever get with him
are his conferences, which aren't really family vacations because I end
up spending most of the time doing things by myself (and I don't mind
doing things by myself, but I like it when he can join in, too.
Thankfully he now cancels out of going to dinner with them in favour of
having dinner with me, which really adds to the vacation in a very
positive way for me).

Denise Anderson wrote:

"Vicky Bilaniuk" wrote in message
. ..


We've got another one coming up in November. It will be our first with
the baby. Woohoo! It will be so weird! I'm not sure what I'll be able
to bring for the baby to sleep in. Yes, that's my worry, believe it or
not. I think everything else will be pretty easy to deal with (unless
there is illness or something).


Most hotels can provide cots. And you can call ahead to make sure their
safe ones. We've stayed at some hotels that had some pretty nasty cots.. Or
you get a cheap pack and play from a consignment store to bring with you.

Denise




I was thinking of getting a pack and play. But now I'm wondering...
We'll likely be staying at a Westin hotel. Anyone know what they are
like? This particular one is not at the top of my list of favourite
hotels. It's not bad, but the other hotels we've stayed at (Sheraton
and Lord Elgin) are a lot better. Maybe I'll luck out and we'll get the
Sheraton again, which is my favourite (it's my favourite because the
staff is really top notch - they have a considerably older building with
older furnishings, so I guess they have to make up for it somehow).
DH's conferences are *always* in the same city (Ottawa) so I've gotten
to know the hotels reasonably well. ;-) He used to go to other
conferences that are farther away, but as he puts it, he outgrew that
long ago. :-(

Christine wrote:

Is it selfish of me to expect him to wait till next year, for a
vacation?

Yes. Personally I'd go on the vacation. I think the health risks are all
very manageable and not a concern. This type of vacation sounds fun to me
though and my dh would stay in and nap with the baby for a couple hours each
day while I went and played with the big kids.

so, is it rude of ME to stay here with Chloe?

No. If you are going to be miserable then this year, with a 12 week old
baby, I think you get a free pass to skip the family vacation :-) It is
only 3 days. My dh has gone on *many* 3 day mini-vacations while me and the
kids stayed home. That works out fine for us all. I wouldn't make it a
habit to separate his kids all the time but certainly with the age
differences it will make sense for him to occasionally do things with the
bigger girls that Chloe isn't going to be able to enjoy or participate in.
That is to be expected when you have children with such wide age gaps.

and is it rude of HIM to still go knowing Chloe is too small yet?

No! - not at all! His girls are bigger and he should be able to enjoy some
age appropriate fun activities with them! It might help his daughters
adjust to the new baby and not worry so much that their dad's new family
will displace them. My dh goes on several mini vacations without us each
year. His are even less noble because he is just going to have his own
fun - not spend time with his kids, lol. Look at it like a gift. I enjoy
the solitude and having the kids just to myself every once in a while. We
eat food dh hates, go do things he hates, I watch chick flicks. We have a
good time ;-)

I think the final decision is that I am going to stay home with
Chloe...but i was just wondering what you all thought?

I think that is fine as long as you don't lay a guilt trip on him about it.

--
Nikki

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:

We've got another one coming up in November. It will be our first with
the baby. Woohoo! It will be so weird! I'm not sure what I'll be able
to bring for the baby to sleep in. Yes, that's my worry, believe it or
not. I think everything else will be pretty easy to deal with (unless
there is illness or something).

What's wrong with asking the hotel for a crib?
I've never encountered one that didn't provide them on
request.

Best wishes,
Ericka

On Fri, 13 Aug 2004 00:39:01 -0400, Christine wrote:

Whew you guys are so easy to rowl up....LOL....

Should we take that as a compliment?

--
-- I
mommy to DS (July '02)
mommy to three tiny angels (28 Oct'03, 17 Feb'04 & 20 May'04)
guardian of DH (33)

(Christine) wrote in message ...
Ok, DH wants to plan a small vacation with his 2 daughters,,,7 and
14,,,,,


Could you go with your DH and take the baby, but let your DH have some
activities with just his 2 older daughters, and then have some days
with the whole family together? So the days that they go and do
things that would be hard or boring with a baby (like the water park),
you could either stay in the hotel or find another more baby-friendly
activity to do (is there any shopping near by or museums or other
places you might like to visit?) Your stepdaughters may appreciate
having some time with just their father (not because they're your
*step* daughters, but because kids like to have quality time with just
one parent at a time sometimes). Perhaps you can suggest a day's
activity that can involve all 3 kids so that the older girls can spend
some time with their baby sister also. If you really would be
uncomfortable with the entire vacation, then by all means, stay home
and let your DH have some quality time with the 2 girls--as they reach
their teenage years, they may start being a lot less willing to go
hang out with their dad.

I think the main thing is that whatever choice you make, you need to
be happy about it (not just pretend to be happy, but really make a
choice that you will like). The two older girls will definitely pick
up on your feelings towards the vacation, and that could contribute
towards hard feelings between your DH's "old family" and "new family",
which isn't probably what you want. If you go as a group and you
choose to do a separate activity for some of the time (shopping or
sightseeing or whatever), make sure they know that you are looking
forward to your own activity as much as they are to theirs.

Good Luck and enjoy your vacation or your quiet time at home!
--Elit.
#1 due 9/20/2004