Runnin from Custodial Parent

You people are NUTS!! I am a custodial father of three children (18,16 and
12) now the 18 year old is graduated with honors from HS and is heading
into the Air Force.

But my thing is that my ex wife pays (only because it is garnished from her
check) 195 a month (for 3 children) - she just turned 18 a few weeks ago.

We went in for a review and they came back and told her it was going to 249
a month for 2 children plus 18% of all uncovered medical bills. Hell I
would have let it go at the $195 a month it had been the entire time (and
the original amount was supposed to be $320 when it was first set I agreed
to have it lowered to the 195)

My ex-wife then got mad and said she should NOT have to pay a dime! and
refused to talk about it and asked to go in front of the judge. This woman
has been a pain in my a$$ from the word go. She never sees the children,
refuses to call or communicate with them and refused to sign off!! (I told
her that if she wanted nothing to do with the children then she could simply
sign off)

Now the judge we are going in front of..hmmm.. is a PRICK to say the least.
he does NOT like dead beat parents at all! he is likely to use IMPUTED
income which would put the child support around $318 a month (according to
the imputed schedule that was put together by the FOC)

Now that I have to take a day off of work and lose about $300 in pay on top
of having to see this woman I am going to request they use the imputed
income.

She tried to tell me she should not have to pay any support because she
VOLUNTARILY does not exercise her visitation rights!! (I have in the past
tried to bring the children to her for visitation she refused! She changed
her phone number and told me and the children BOTH not to call her!) That
was about 7 months ago. Other than court I have not seen or heard from her.

My belief is that its about responsibility, you bring kids in the world
(father or mother) you should HELP support those children! I believe she is
just ****ed because I have nice things (Because I work long hours) and my
yearly income is about 6 to 7 times higher than hers. All I can say is I
work HARD for my money and that does NOT excuse her from her obligation. If
that was true then I could simply stop paying taxes cause hell the federal
government has plenty of money, more than I do..lol



"Chris" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
oups.com...
On Sep 28, 12:33 am, wrote:
Very Determined wrote:
FYI, I am not looking for a handout, for ten years I left him alone,
figured he would do the right thing.

But then she later wrote:

It means that after searching high and low for the NCP for 10 years,
and finding him in prison for domestic violence...

So contrary to what you wanted us to believe at the beginning, you
only "left him alone" for ten years because you couldn't find him!
Turns out you've spent ten years(!) trying to trackdown a guy you
believe is a scumbag. What a pitiful waste of ten years.

VD wrote:
My current husband worked two jobs, killing himself, and I worked full
time too so that we could eat, live, and my child could be well educated
...And we did what we had to do, because life wasn't fair
my child should not have to suffer, and we did whatever we had to do
to
make sure he has what TWO parents should give him.
With my health issues my husband had to leave his second job, to help
run the household and take care of me, therefore financially we hurt
because HE takes care of all his children including two others from a
previous marriage.

How many kids did you say you had with your husband? You had one out-
of-wedlock from a previous relationship, your husband has two from a
previous relationship(s), and you have at least two together. Ya'll
should be fixed. People - man, woman, CP, or NCP - who think they can
just keep producing kids without considering all the financial and
emotional ramifications of the twisted dynamics they're creating get
no sympathy from me. You faulted your bio/ncp for going off and making
more children, but you've done the same. Guess what's ok for the goose
isn't ok for the gander in your opinion.

He [biofather/NCP at issue] and I chose to create this child,

Really? The two of you as an unmarried couple having a dysfunctional
relationship (I say dysfunctional because you claim it was an abusive
relationship) sat down and discussed having a baby and made a concrete
desicion together to have and raise a child together? Or did you just
let yourself get knocked up by this guy you claim was an abusive
loser?

and I chose to nurture and bear him.

uhhuh.

he was told once again where his child lives,( in the same place for
14
years)
...FYI, I wanted to clarify when that lien was placed in Nov of 06,
last year, he was running 13 1/2 years before that,
I am not whimpering over a man "I" left 12 1/2 years ago for abuse. I
am happily married and have been for 12 years...
It means that after searching high and low for the NCP for 10 years,
and finding him

Your alleged timeline makes no sense.
You married your current husband a mere six months after leaving the
NCP. That was either a whirlwind courtship, or you were involved with
him already while still with the NCP. (Can you say a-f-f-a-i-r?)
You say the NCP has been running for 14 1/2 years, but you only left
him 12 1/2 yrs ago. So what was he running from for the 2 yrs you were
still with him?

I think you were involved with a loser and knew it and when you got
knocked up you went Daddy shopping and got hitched to a guy you
thought would be a better provider and daddy, and now your sore that
you can't have your cake and eat it too.
You want daddy#2 to be the emotional daddy, but you want daddy#1 to be
paycheck daddy and it just ain't working for ya'.

OH - as far as hubby adopting son. Scary for him! Once he does that,
HE will be responsible for CS to you for that kid when you leave him.
Good for you because you can replace daddy#1 who's not paying with
daddy#2 who might pay, but oh so bad for current hubby.

It's not an affair, they weren't married. It doesn't matter how long
she spent looking. He should not of been hiding from her, his son, or
hes responsibilities.

Perhaps an introductory book on logic would be in order for you; thus it
would reveal the folly of your ways.

"Rob" wrote in

We went in for a review and they came back and told her it was going to
249 a month for 2 children plus 18% of all uncovered medical bills.

What state sets such a low amount?
I know fathers that make $10 and hour and pay $400 per month.


that was true then I could simply stop paying taxes cause hell the federal
government has plenty of money, more than I do..lol

What money does the federal government have, they are $9 trillion in debt!
They're broke! :-)
1/5 th of your tax dollar pays just the interest !

Isn't it wonderful you have such a good bunch of people looking out for
your best interest?

"Gini" wrote in

My belief is that its about responsibility, you bring kids in the world
(father or mother) you should HELP support those children! I believe she
is just ****ed because I have nice things (Because I work long hours) and
my yearly income is about 6 to 7 times higher than hers. All I can say
is I work HARD for my money and that does NOT excuse her from her
obligation.
======
Huh? Responsibility? You married and procreated with a loser and you now
want to chase after her for a few dollars a month
all at the expense of taxpayers, even though you don't need the
money...just because she's "obligated?"

I agree with your sentiment Gini, but as long as this draconian system
exists, woman should be prosecuted to the max too! Only then will people
take notice!!!!!!!!

Why is she not in jail if she hasn't paid anything?

"Gini" wrote in

I don't think the solution is to treat mothers like fathers. The solution
is to get the
courts out of family business and for parents to take care of their
children. Period.

That's about the most logical thing I've read on here to date!
Listen to this guy, he's got the same ideas about getting the government out
of a lot of things.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5ZXM3h4jig

I think people are sick and tired of standard politics and many will vote
for him out of spite!
The media are trying their damdest to down play him, might be an idea for
father's movements to put their vote in for this guy and wake the rest of
the dead heads in office up.

This is a typical CP v NCP scenario. Because this CP happens to be dad
doesn't excuse his
parasitic/entitlement attitude.

I agree, he's making good money and taking care of the kids, why waste
another minute fighting over chump change!

"Gini" wrote in

The solution is to get the courts out of family business and for parents
to take care of their children.

here's another same kind of mentality on getting the government to quit
trying to solve people's personal problems

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88REf0tjZHo

On Sep 20, 12:08 pm, Very Determined! wrote:
On Sep 18, 3:37 pm, "DB" wrote:

"Very Determined!" wrote in

working...like I told him before McDonald's is always hiring...his
child still has to eat and live whether he has a job or not!

My father raised 3 kids on one blue collar salary with no handout from
anyone, so what's your problem?

Your dad should be commended! But my circumstances are not yours or
your dads.FYI, I am not looking for a handout, for ten years I left
him alone, figured he would do the right thing. When he could, (which
he can), I figured he would help support his child, we created
together. "His child,we created together" key phrase! He never did,
and willfully unemployed himself as well as fled from state to state
to avoid his obligations and responsibilities to his child. My current
husband worked two jobs, killing himself, and I worked full time too
so that we could eat, live, and my child could be well educated today,
not ten, fifteen, twenty years ago (the cost of living is much
different now). And we did what we had to do, because life wasn't fair
my child should not have to suffer, and we did whatever we had to do
to make sure he has what TWO parents should give him. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer, so with that I had to undergo a radical
thyroidectomy, and radiation. Let me know when your are ready for the
violin...with removal of my thyroid other glands failed to their job,
and so on...so I am on meds the rest of my life, and hope to find out
if I am cancer free soon. With my health issues my husband had to
leave his second job, to help run the household and take care of me,
therefore financially we hurt because HE takes care of all his
children including two others from a previous marriage. So legally my
husband is obligated to care for them first before we even eat! Health
wise I shouldn't be working the hours I do, but I know my obligations
and responsibilities, and even continue my education where I graduate
in May with my bachelors in Criminal Justice,YEAH!!! and if my health
allows hopefully to law school in September of 08. Anyway, #1. My
husband is not my son's father and he is not legally obligated to care
for him. #2. Why is the bilogical father any less responsible than I
am? #3. Why am I looking for a handout when everyone is doing their
job, but the absent bilogical father? #4. How is my son going to feel
when I tell him, I knew where your father was I just didn't care
enough to fight for you, because I don't want to bother with it?
Because we dont' need? We might not need it today...but my child
might, when he needs a new pair of size 15 shoes, and I cannot buy
them because I have to buy my medicine or pay for my doctor's visit.
My child might need the money when he needs new school supplies and I
have to be in the hospital. My child might need it when he is hungry
at school and I need gas in my car. I am sorry your dad had to do it
by himself, or chose to, but why do I have a problem if I am willing
to get up and fight for what is legally obligated to my son?!? He
deserves that, at the very least...We all have choices about our
lives, I choose to not be a martyr and make sure the biological father
is held responsible for his actions or inactions.

this world is a BAD place to have kids. Also, most of the time, the
fathers get ****ed over by a feminist system that takes away the
rights of the father. I was fortunate that when my parents got
divorced, because mom left, she lost almost all rights over her kids
and she was made to pay CS because she was the one who abandoned her
family, had the affair, etc.

I think that any mother, or father that abandons their spouse and
kids, and seeks a divorce, has affairs, gets "remarried" etc, should
have to pay CS. not just a father, but the same goes for a mother
also. in your situation, I don't know. what caused the divorce?
if he left the family, if he was the reason you don't have a nuclear
family anymore, then yeah, he should be made to pay CS.

"my family is wrecked" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Sep 20, 12:08 pm, Very Determined! wrote:
On Sep 18, 3:37 pm, "DB" wrote:

"Very Determined!" wrote in

working...like I told him before McDonald's is always hiring...his
child still has to eat and live whether he has a job or not!

My father raised 3 kids on one blue collar salary with no handout from
anyone, so what's your problem?

Your dad should be commended! But my circumstances are not yours or
your dads.FYI, I am not looking for a handout, for ten years I left
him alone, figured he would do the right thing. When he could, (which
he can), I figured he would help support his child, we created
together. "His child,we created together" key phrase! He never did,
and willfully unemployed himself as well as fled from state to state
to avoid his obligations and responsibilities to his child. My current
husband worked two jobs, killing himself, and I worked full time too
so that we could eat, live, and my child could be well educated today,
not ten, fifteen, twenty years ago (the cost of living is much
different now). And we did what we had to do, because life wasn't fair
my child should not have to suffer, and we did whatever we had to do
to make sure he has what TWO parents should give him. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer, so with that I had to undergo a radical
thyroidectomy, and radiation. Let me know when your are ready for the
violin...with removal of my thyroid other glands failed to their job,
and so on...so I am on meds the rest of my life, and hope to find out
if I am cancer free soon. With my health issues my husband had to
leave his second job, to help run the household and take care of me,
therefore financially we hurt because HE takes care of all his
children including two others from a previous marriage. So legally my
husband is obligated to care for them first before we even eat! Health
wise I shouldn't be working the hours I do, but I know my obligations
and responsibilities, and even continue my education where I graduate
in May with my bachelors in Criminal Justice,YEAH!!! and if my health
allows hopefully to law school in September of 08. Anyway, #1. My
husband is not my son's father and he is not legally obligated to care
for him. #2. Why is the bilogical father any less responsible than I
am? #3. Why am I looking for a handout when everyone is doing their
job, but the absent bilogical father? #4. How is my son going to feel
when I tell him, I knew where your father was I just didn't care
enough to fight for you, because I don't want to bother with it?
Because we dont' need? We might not need it today...but my child
might, when he needs a new pair of size 15 shoes, and I cannot buy
them because I have to buy my medicine or pay for my doctor's visit.
My child might need the money when he needs new school supplies and I
have to be in the hospital. My child might need it when he is hungry
at school and I need gas in my car. I am sorry your dad had to do it
by himself, or chose to, but why do I have a problem if I am willing
to get up and fight for what is legally obligated to my son?!? He
deserves that, at the very least...We all have choices about our
lives, I choose to not be a martyr and make sure the biological father
is held responsible for his actions or inactions.

this world is a BAD place to have kids. Also, most of the time, the
fathers get ****ed over by a feminist system that takes away the
rights of the father. I was fortunate that when my parents got
divorced, because mom left, she lost almost all rights over her kids
and she was made to pay CS because she was the one who abandoned her
family, had the affair, etc.

I think that any mother, or father that abandons their spouse and
kids, and seeks a divorce, has affairs, gets "remarried" etc, should
have to pay CS. not just a father, but the same goes for a mother
also. in your situation, I don't know. what caused the divorce?
if he left the family, if he was the reason you don't have a nuclear
family anymore, then yeah, he should be made to pay CS.

What if the mother has an affair amd leaves the father, taking the children
with her--should the father have to pay CS?

"teachrmama" wrote in

I think that any mother, or father that abandons their spouse and
kids, and seeks a divorce, has affairs, gets "remarried" etc, should
have to pay CS. not just a father, but the same goes for a mother
also. in your situation, I don't know. what caused the divorce?
if he left the family, if he was the reason you don't have a nuclear
family anymore, then yeah, he should be made to pay CS.

What if the mother has an affair amd leaves the father, taking the
children with her--should the father have to pay CS?


According to the system guidelines, yes the father should have to pay a
good portion of his income to a cheating whore that cares little about
anybody else but herself. All in the best interest of the child!

teachrmama wrote:
"my family is wrecked" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Sep 20, 12:08 pm, Very Determined! wrote:
On Sep 18, 3:37 pm, "DB" wrote:

"Very Determined!" wrote in
working...like I told him before McDonald's is always hiring...his
child still has to eat and live whether he has a job or not!
My father raised 3 kids on one blue collar salary with no handout from
anyone, so what's your problem?
Your dad should be commended! But my circumstances are not yours or
your dads.FYI, I am not looking for a handout, for ten years I left
him alone, figured he would do the right thing. When he could, (which
he can), I figured he would help support his child, we created
together. "His child,we created together" key phrase! He never did,
and willfully unemployed himself as well as fled from state to state
to avoid his obligations and responsibilities to his child. My current
husband worked two jobs, killing himself, and I worked full time too
so that we could eat, live, and my child could be well educated today,
not ten, fifteen, twenty years ago (the cost of living is much
different now). And we did what we had to do, because life wasn't fair
my child should not have to suffer, and we did whatever we had to do
to make sure he has what TWO parents should give him. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer, so with that I had to undergo a radical
thyroidectomy, and radiation. Let me know when your are ready for the
violin...with removal of my thyroid other glands failed to their job,
and so on...so I am on meds the rest of my life, and hope to find out
if I am cancer free soon. With my health issues my husband had to
leave his second job, to help run the household and take care of me,
therefore financially we hurt because HE takes care of all his
children including two others from a previous marriage. So legally my
husband is obligated to care for them first before we even eat! Health
wise I shouldn't be working the hours I do, but I know my obligations
and responsibilities, and even continue my education where I graduate
in May with my bachelors in Criminal Justice,YEAH!!! and if my health
allows hopefully to law school in September of 08. Anyway, #1. My
husband is not my son's father and he is not legally obligated to care
for him. #2. Why is the bilogical father any less responsible than I
am? #3. Why am I looking for a handout when everyone is doing their
job, but the absent bilogical father? #4. How is my son going to feel
when I tell him, I knew where your father was I just didn't care
enough to fight for you, because I don't want to bother with it?
Because we dont' need? We might not need it today...but my child
might, when he needs a new pair of size 15 shoes, and I cannot buy
them because I have to buy my medicine or pay for my doctor's visit.
My child might need the money when he needs new school supplies and I
have to be in the hospital. My child might need it when he is hungry
at school and I need gas in my car. I am sorry your dad had to do it
by himself, or chose to, but why do I have a problem if I am willing
to get up and fight for what is legally obligated to my son?!? He
deserves that, at the very least...We all have choices about our
lives, I choose to not be a martyr and make sure the biological father
is held responsible for his actions or inactions.
this world is a BAD place to have kids. Also, most of the time, the
fathers get ****ed over by a feminist system that takes away the
rights of the father. I was fortunate that when my parents got
divorced, because mom left, she lost almost all rights over her kids
and she was made to pay CS because she was the one who abandoned her
family, had the affair, etc.

I think that any mother, or father that abandons their spouse and
kids, and seeks a divorce, has affairs, gets "remarried" etc, should
have to pay CS. not just a father, but the same goes for a mother
also. in your situation, I don't know. what caused the divorce?
if he left the family, if he was the reason you don't have a nuclear
family anymore, then yeah, he should be made to pay CS.

What if the mother has an affair amd leaves the father, taking the children
with her--should the father have to pay CS?



What if the party who had an affair was not the one who filed for
divorce, or left town? What does it matter? I don't see how it is
unreasonable to say that the parent who has full or majority of the
custody should be the one receiving support to raise the children; it
might be a ****ty situation, but parents have an obligation to support
their children, no matter how ill-suited for marriage either one of
their parents might be.

--

Sarah Gray

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
et...
teachrmama wrote:
"my family is wrecked" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Sep 20, 12:08 pm, Very Determined! wrote:
On Sep 18, 3:37 pm, "DB" wrote:

"Very Determined!" wrote in
working...like I told him before McDonald's is always hiring...his
child still has to eat and live whether he has a job or not!
My father raised 3 kids on one blue collar salary with no handout from
anyone, so what's your problem?
Your dad should be commended! But my circumstances are not yours or
your dads.FYI, I am not looking for a handout, for ten years I left
him alone, figured he would do the right thing. When he could, (which
he can), I figured he would help support his child, we created
together. "His child,we created together" key phrase! He never did,
and willfully unemployed himself as well as fled from state to state
to avoid his obligations and responsibilities to his child. My current
husband worked two jobs, killing himself, and I worked full time too
so that we could eat, live, and my child could be well educated today,
not ten, fifteen, twenty years ago (the cost of living is much
different now). And we did what we had to do, because life wasn't fair
my child should not have to suffer, and we did whatever we had to do
to make sure he has what TWO parents should give him. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer, so with that I had to undergo a radical
thyroidectomy, and radiation. Let me know when your are ready for the
violin...with removal of my thyroid other glands failed to their job,
and so on...so I am on meds the rest of my life, and hope to find out
if I am cancer free soon. With my health issues my husband had to
leave his second job, to help run the household and take care of me,
therefore financially we hurt because HE takes care of all his
children including two others from a previous marriage. So legally my
husband is obligated to care for them first before we even eat! Health
wise I shouldn't be working the hours I do, but I know my obligations
and responsibilities, and even continue my education where I graduate
in May with my bachelors in Criminal Justice,YEAH!!! and if my health
allows hopefully to law school in September of 08. Anyway, #1. My
husband is not my son's father and he is not legally obligated to care
for him. #2. Why is the bilogical father any less responsible than I
am? #3. Why am I looking for a handout when everyone is doing their
job, but the absent bilogical father? #4. How is my son going to feel
when I tell him, I knew where your father was I just didn't care
enough to fight for you, because I don't want to bother with it?
Because we dont' need? We might not need it today...but my child
might, when he needs a new pair of size 15 shoes, and I cannot buy
them because I have to buy my medicine or pay for my doctor's visit.
My child might need the money when he needs new school supplies and I
have to be in the hospital. My child might need it when he is hungry
at school and I need gas in my car. I am sorry your dad had to do it
by himself, or chose to, but why do I have a problem if I am willing
to get up and fight for what is legally obligated to my son?!? He
deserves that, at the very least...We all have choices about our
lives, I choose to not be a martyr and make sure the biological father
is held responsible for his actions or inactions.
this world is a BAD place to have kids. Also, most of the time, the
fathers get ****ed over by a feminist system that takes away the
rights of the father. I was fortunate that when my parents got
divorced, because mom left, she lost almost all rights over her kids
and she was made to pay CS because she was the one who abandoned her
family, had the affair, etc.

I think that any mother, or father that abandons their spouse and
kids, and seeks a divorce, has affairs, gets "remarried" etc, should
have to pay CS. not just a father, but the same goes for a mother
also. in your situation, I don't know. what caused the divorce?
if he left the family, if he was the reason you don't have a nuclear
family anymore, then yeah, he should be made to pay CS.

What if the mother has an affair amd leaves the father, taking the
children with her--should the father have to pay CS?



What if the party who had an affair was not the one who filed for divorce,
or left town? What does it matter? I don't see how it is unreasonable to
say that the parent who has full or majority of the custody should be the
one receiving support to raise the children; it might be a ****ty
situation, but parents have an obligation to support their children, no
matter how ill-suited for marriage either one of their parents might be.

#1, the parent who had the affair should not be permitted to take the kids
and leave town. 50/50 joint custody with BOTH parents being PARENTS and not
wallet toting visitors should be the way it is.

#2, if child support becomes a necessity because the parents do live too
far apart, it should be ONLY enough for 1/2 of BASIC NEEDS--not a penny
more. If the custodial parent wants more of the ncp's income for the
children, the custodial parent should give the children more time with the
ncp.

--

Sarah Gray