Runnin from Custodial Parent

DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in

Can't blame anybody for wanting to get the hell out of Detroit, that
place is a real **** hole!

Hell, I've wanted to leave for years, but I am not in a position to do so.

Why not, do you think you're gong to live forever?

Do it next year, go where ever you want! Move closer to Dad's place if it's
any better but don't stay in that dump for much longer. What the hell are
you waiting for? ;-)



Right now I am reliant on family members to help with (albeit a small
amount) of childcare. I would have to find a much much better job to be
able to pay someone to do so.

--

Sarah Gray

Chris wrote:
Unoless you are being physically restrained by someone, you can. Move to
where your ex is. Then your daughter can attend the SAME school AND be
with
her father too; just what you want. Unless, of course, where he lives is
just as bad. But even so, for the sake of your child, she would be
with BOTH
of you!

He *chose* to move. I have no desire to move to Nashville; I have a
decent job here, with lots of room for advancement and excellent
benefits. Since her father is not willing to step up, I have to make
sure that I can support her if he does something stupid like quit his
job again.
--

Sarah Gray

Chris wrote:
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have
custody of such child] "Sarah Gray" wrote in
message ...
Chris wrote:
Sarah Gray wrote:
Can you tell me a
way to do that without money changing hands that *doesn't* involve
50/50
physical custody (since that is not always possible)?
Unless one parent is dead it is ALWAYS possible.

That is simply not true. A school-age child cannot move back and forth
between two households in different states during the school year.

Says who?

Explain to me how this would work and still afford the child a decent
education.

Also,
some parents cannot provide a safe environment for their children.

Irrelevant.


It costs money to raise a child.

Untrue.

Explain this to me, Chris? How do you provide food, shelter, clothing,
childcare, for a child without spending money?

Both parents should provide equally
towards basic expenses.

Because?

Because parents have obligations to their children.

If my daughter's father still lived in Detroit,
I would be happy to agree on something where he bought a portion of
groceries, some of her school clothes, paid directly for his share of
the cost of latchkey; i.e. did not give me money directly. Then again,
if he lived here, we'd still have 50/50 physical custody...

That's right, because guess who calls the shots regarding YOUR child.

We *both* called the shots when he lived here. You don;t know what you
are talking about.


On another note, when I try to reply to your messages, my newsreader
won't quote any of what you said and I have to cut-and-paste. I am not
sure why...

Welcome to the wonderful world of computers. Sometimes, mine doesn't
insert
the chevrons which depict previous quotes. Go figure.......

It's not about the chevrons. My newsreader won't quote *any* of the
message. It's weird.

--

Sarah Gray

Chris wrote:
-- [Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have
custody of such child] "teachrmama" wrote in
message ...

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
Chris wrote:
Sarah Gray wrote:
Can you tell me a
way to do that without money changing hands that *doesn't*
involve
50/50
physical custody (since that is not always possible)?
Unless one parent is dead it is ALWAYS possible.

That is simply not true. A school-age child cannot move back and
forth
between two households in different states during the school
year. Also,
some parents cannot provide a safe environment for their children.

Chris doesn't feel that schools are important enough to separate parent
fro,
child. They teach too many things that he does not approve of, and the
parent/child bond is more important. So using school as an excuse is
simply
furthering YOUR agenda, not your child's. chuckle

Non sequitur. Not to mention, I made absolutely NO claim regarding "schools"
in general. But thanks for reading my mind and speaking on my behalf. Now,
tell me that you believe attending a school trumps having a relationship
with one's parent; more specifically, one's father.




AFAIK, most states have laws about children attending school...with both
parent's working, and the child not going to school, how is that a good
plan?
--

Sarah Gray

teachrmama wrote:
"Chris" wrote in message
...

--
[Any man that's good enough to support a child is good enough to have
custody of such child]
"teachrmama" wrote in message
...
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
...
Chris wrote:
Sarah Gray wrote:
Can you tell me a
way to do that without money changing hands that *doesn't* involve
50/50
physical custody (since that is not always possible)?
Unless one parent is dead it is ALWAYS possible.
That is simply not true. A school-age child cannot move back and forth
between two households in different states during the school year.
Also,
some parents cannot provide a safe environment for their children.
Chris doesn't feel that schools are important enough to separate parent
fro,
child. They teach too many things that he does not approve of, and the
parent/child bond is more important. So using school as an excuse is
simply
furthering YOUR agenda, not your child's. chuckle
Non sequitur. Not to mention, I made absolutely NO claim regarding
"schools"
in general. But thanks for reading my mind and speaking on my behalf. Now,
tell me that you believe attending a school trumps having a relationship
with one's parent; more specifically, one's father.

If the father moved away, then it is HIS responsibility to make sure he has
a relationship with his child. If he truly believes that a relationship
with his child is important, he will make the effort--not expect his child
to give up her education to "have a relationship" with dad.



exactly!

--

Sarah Gray

"Sarah Gray" wrote in
I have a decent job here, with lots of room for advancement and excellent
benefits. Since her father is not willing to step up, I have to make sure
that I can support her

Welcome to the real world of men, we have done this for centuries!

How does equality feel?

DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in
I have a decent job here, with lots of room for advancement and excellent
benefits. Since her father is not willing to step up, I have to make sure
that I can support her

Welcome to the real world of men, we have done this for centuries!

How does equality feel?



I am not complaining, just stating the facts. I feel really good that I
can provide for her without having to *depend* on her father.

--

Sarah Gray

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. net...
DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in
I have a decent job here, with lots of room for advancement and
excellent benefits. Since her father is not willing to step up, I have
to make sure that I can support her

Welcome to the real world of men, we have done this for centuries!

How does equality feel?

I am not complaining, just stating the facts. I feel really good that I
can provide for her without having to *depend* on her father.

That's great, my father raised 3 of us kids on one blue collar salary!
Hand me downs were the order of the day.

DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. net...
DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in
I have a decent job here, with lots of room for advancement and
excellent benefits. Since her father is not willing to step up, I have
to make sure that I can support her
Welcome to the real world of men, we have done this for centuries!

How does equality feel?
I am not complaining, just stating the facts. I feel really good that I
can provide for her without having to *depend* on her father.

That's great, my father raised 3 of us kids on one blue collar salary!
Hand me downs were the order of the day.



Frankly, your experience as a child has little to do with the current
economy. The *only* way I can make ends meet on my income is by being
very, very frugal- to a degree that most people I know find too time
consuming and off-putting. And I am only supporting myself and my daughter.

What's a "blue collar salary" these days? $15 an hour? less? It is
nearly impossible to feed, clothe, and give shelter (not to mention
things like a car, and health insurance) to a family of five on that
kind of money.

--

Sarah Gray

"Sarah Gray" wrote in


I have a decent job here, with lots of room for advancement and
excellent benefits. Since her father is not willing to step up, I have
to make sure that I can support her
Welcome to the real world of men, we have done this for centuries!

How does equality feel?

I am not complaining, just stating the facts. I feel really good that I
can provide for her without having to *depend* on her father.

That's great, my father raised 3 of us kids on one blue collar salary!
Hand me downs were the order of the day.

Frankly, your experience as a child has little to do with the current
economy.

Learning to save money is never outdated! I don't ever remember going on a
shopping spree with mom or grabbing a quick burger a 3 or 4 times a week. It
was rare we ever dined out and only received new clothes for our birthday or
Christmas. Christmas these days for kids is just another day with more new
**** to throw in the closet and forget about it!

The *only* way I can make ends meet on my income is by being very, very
frugal- to a degree that most people I know find too time consuming and
off-putting. And I am only supporting myself and my daughter.

Imagine being a male and a court demanding you pay $800 per month?

What's a "blue collar salary" these days? $15 an hour? less? It is nearly
impossible to feed, clothe, and give shelter (not to mention things like a
car, and health insurance) to a family of five on that kind of money.

Try telling that to the government that thinks their child support rates are
realistic?