Do you "correct" others' kids?

In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the
coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me
thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before.

This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't
behave in other people's houses.

Thanks.

On 17 May 2004 18:51:38 -0700, (ted) wrote:

In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the
coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me
thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before.

This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't
behave in other people's houses.

Thanks.

I give the other parent an opportunity to say something, and if they
don't, I have no problem speaking up to preserve my belongings.
Usually a calm "honey, please don't do that" is sufficient.

Nan

ted wrote:

This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do?

Bite my lip while others' kids attempt to destroy
my home? No way! I'll give the other parent a chance to
do something first, but if they don't, I walk over and
very nicely, but firmly, explain our house rules. I
always phrase it carefully as rules for *our house*, not
as general rules. I don't see any reason why I can't
set house rules for my own house and expect other
kids to abide by them. I wouldn't correct table
manners or tell them what to eat or anything like
that, but I see safety issues and rules to protect
my property as well within my purview, regardless of
what their rules are at home.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"ted" wrote in message
om...

This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't
behave in other people's houses.

My house, my rules, no jumping on the furniture. Child would most definitly
be corrected.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
EDD #2 10/24/04
remove "no........spam" to reply

Darned right I do. If the parents of the children do not like it they can
start keeping their kids in line. I have since I was a teenager.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"ted" wrote in message
om...
In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the
coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me
thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before.

This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't
behave in other people's houses.

Thanks.

On Mon, 17 May 2004 22:27:04 -0400, Ericka Kammerer
wrote:
I wouldn't correct table
manners or tell them what to eat or anything like
that,

It is sooo hard for me to have another child over and listen to them
sit there chewing with their mouth open, smacking their lips. I want
to say something so bad I can barely stand it. (also when kids cough
without covering their mouth or at least turning their head away, and
this is with kids who are old enough to know better)
Marie

On 17 May 2004 18:51:38 -0700, (ted) wrote:
In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the
coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me
thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before.
This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't
behave in other people's houses.

I would say, "We don't jump on the furniture!" as soon as the child
started (usually if the child will do this in the first place the
parent isn't planning on stopping it).
Marie

The only thing that bugs me is that I have a friend that has corrected my
daughter for climbing on her furnature but HER kids are the ones that taught
my daughter to do it. I had wittnessed her kids running arround on her
couches chairs and other things but when my daughter followed behind My
Friend said "Do you let her get on the furniture at home" like it was
unheard of in her home for a child to climb onto a couch. If I had not seen
her kids doing the same thing less then a week before I would have felt a
little bad.
She does climb onto the arm of the couch but she knows how to work the light
nobby thing on the hologen light and that is the only way she can reach it.
Usualy she gets right down after she turns the light on

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Anna or Xavier due 10/17/04
"Marie" wrote in message
...
On 17 May 2004 18:51:38 -0700, (ted) wrote:
In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the
coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me
thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before.
This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't
behave in other people's houses.

I would say, "We don't jump on the furniture!" as soon as the child
started (usually if the child will do this in the first place the
parent isn't planning on stopping it).
Marie

On Mon, 17 May 2004 20:54:30 -0500, Nan wrote:

On 17 May 2004 18:51:38 -0700, (ted) wrote:

In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the
coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me
thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before.

This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't
behave in other people's houses.

Thanks.

I give the other parent an opportunity to say something, and if they
don't, I have no problem speaking up to preserve my belongings.
Usually a calm "honey, please don't do that" is sufficient.

Same here. I'd like to give the parent, if she/he is
readily available, a chance to have the first word. If that
parent seems to decline, I'd say something like the above.


P. Tierney

"Nan" wrote in message
...
On 17 May 2004 18:51:38 -0700, (ted) wrote:

In another thread someone mentioned that her kids were jumping on the
coffee table when her friend's kids started it. So that made me
thinking.. Sorry if this was discussed here before.

This happened to us in the past. I didn't have kid(s) then. Anyways,
if you have visitors and if their kids decide it would be so cool to
jump on the coffee table or sofas what do you do? Do you just bite
your lip and hope that the sofa won't tear off? What would be the
right thing to do? Ofcourse I would correct my kids if they don't
behave in other people's houses.

Thanks.

I give the other parent an opportunity to say something, and if they
don't, I have no problem speaking up to preserve my belongings.
Usually a calm "honey, please don't do that" is sufficient.

Nan


I think the answer to your (Ted's) question depends on the age of the
"kids". Are they 3 yrs old or 10? Were they made aware of the House
Rules when they arrived (or as soon as they transgressed them)? You
can't be peeved with them for breaking your rules if you never told them
what the rules were in the first place. I am the mother of two 'sofa
jumpers' as we specifically bought big sturdy sofas so that the kids
could jump on them. We are an enthusiastic, jumping-up-and-down kind
of family. And yes, stuff gets broken at our house a lot. We will
replace the sofas in a couple of years when the kids are older
(preschoolers now). So, it's possible that your little guests didn't
even know that their behaviour was out of line. Some kids have no
experience of delicate furniture.

Obviously, my kids do need to be reminded about the different rules at
the houses of family and friends, but it has really been no big deal
teaching them to respect 'different place different rules'. I do,
however, tend to curb my kids a lot when we are out of our house. They
are well mannered in a very old fashioned way and are respectful of
others. So even though I haven't taught my kids to respect furniture, I
have taught them to respect *people*. If you asked them to stop jumping
on your sofa, they would stop.

So, I guess if I were you I would (like Nan) just ask those kids to stop
jumping. It usually works. My friends and I correct each other's kids
if they are disobeying house rules (or broader social rules like being
rude or mean) - but we start each visit with a reminder of *what the
rules are*: "Remember, no shoes on in Grandma's house!", "Remember, no
drinks in Bobby's living room!", "Remember, Don't knock on the fish
tank!", "Don't change the TV channel on Poppy's TV", "No loud voices in
the hospital", etc. It's not fair if you keep the rules to yourself but
then get upset when people break them.

So I guess my short answer is yes, correct those kids. IMHO, If you
can't speak up for yourself in your own home, to even a little kid, then
you may be looking at bigger problems than footprints on your sofa ...

Suzie Egg.