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reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding



 
 
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  #21  
Old March 1st 04, 11:51 AM
Donna
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Default reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding


"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
Donna (who doesn't really, to be honest, see the point of a thread that
seems to be entirely conceived as a way of saying "Let me flame everyone

who
doesn't agree with me")


not fair!


Is that a whistle I hear?


I'd actually been thinking over the weekend that I might post something
similar, I'm really interested in why people don't breastfeed and how that
relates to our culture and upbringing, I might not have put it exactly
like the first post in the thread, but I am very interested in the
responses.


I'm not against discussions. I'm against set ups. And I agree with
you completely - how something is phrased means *everything* in USEnet.

How would you have kicked off a potentially sensitive topic like this?
Perhaps we can re-phrase the topic? Because right now it's "Let's talk
about how selfish and stupid all those formula-feeders are." And I think
that's awful.

Donna



  #22  
Old March 1st 04, 11:59 AM
Kereru
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Default reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding


"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
Sometimes you have to be "selfish" I didn't breastfeed for long and I

don't
make excuses, I had a reason for giving up. I had PND with my babies and

it
was crucially important that my life was as easy as possible. I didn't

find
breastfeeding easy it really stressed me out.

I was able to breastfeed and I have no hesitation in saying I made the

right
decision in giving up.


sometimes i think I was too bloody minded about breastfeeding, I had very
severe PND, I nearly died, maybe if I had stopped breastfeeding I wouldn't
have got to that point, even after that I was still obsessed by
breastfeeding, even though I had to pump and dump for a few days, I was
sat in the hospital attached to a heart monitor and a breastpump. Now I'm
on the way out the other side I'm really glad I'm still breastfeeding and
think I probably was right to carry on, I think if I had started formula
feeding when he was about 2 months old I would have cut myself up about
it, which probably would have been worse than the stress, tiredness etc.


When I finally made the decision to give up after three months of
breastfeeding it was a huge relief. If you had given up breastfeeding and
had cut yourself up about it then it would have been the wrong decision. So
clearly you made the right one :-)

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad and disapointed at first when I stopped
breastfeeding. But I felt so much better when I stopped that it knew that it
was worth it and I had done the right thing.

Just in case someone with PND is reading. I'm in no way advocating that all
women with PND give up breastfeeding, I have read that in many cases it
actually helps PND. I should also add that there are several anti-depressant
choices that are considered safe for use while breastfeeding.

In my case I was suicidal and having persistent thoughts of harming the
baby. It was pretty crucial that we attacked the PND pretty quickly.

Anne I'm glad you are happy with your decision and that your PND has lifted.

Judy





  #23  
Old March 1st 04, 12:07 PM
Irene
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Default reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding

DeliciousTruffles wrote in message ...
Shena Delian O'Brien wrote:

DeliciousTruffles wrote:

2) The baby had colic



I thought breastfeeding reduced colic.


It does.

But I still hear that excuse. Sigh.


(And, Shena - Brigitte wasn't talking about herself - she bf twins for
a year, and is currently bf'ing her baby.)

Irene
  #24  
Old March 1st 04, 12:37 PM
Anne Rogers
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Default reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding

How would you have kicked off a potentially sensitive topic like this?
Perhaps we can re-phrase the topic? Because right now it's "Let's talk
about how selfish and stupid all those formula-feeders are." And I think
that's awful.


dunno, I hadn't got that far in my thoughts, was considering doing it as a
poll, I am particularly interested in the reasons why people decide before
the birth not to breastfeed. An opposite to that its there any reasons why
people do breastfeed, are you more likely to be sucessful if you make a
consious desicion to do it for at least a certain lenght of time etc.

  #25  
Old March 1st 04, 12:52 PM
Donna
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Default Re-phrasing - Poll: (was: reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding)


"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...

dunno, I hadn't got that far in my thoughts, was considering doing it as a
poll, I am particularly interested in the reasons why people decide before
the birth not to breastfeed.


I'm interested in that, as well.

My neighbor wanted to nurse, and planned to nurse, but ended up switching to
formula after about a week - I'm not sure of all of her reasons. One reason
that she spoke about was that she didn't feel at all emotionally comfortable
with the idea of nursing, or with the physical sensation - she tried to
pump, and was able to do that for six or eight weeks, bless her heart, but
it was kind of doomed to failure, I think. It's rare, I suspect, to have a
successful experience when one is only using a pump, and not nursing. She
seemed to have had a real aversion to the sensation, however.

An opposite to that its there any reasons why
people do breastfeed, are you more likely to be sucessful if you make a
consious desicion to do it for at least a certain lenght of time etc.


Well, I breastfed my daughter for a number of reasons - primarily the
medical benefits that I read about, but also to burn calories (I got huge
with my last pregnancy), to have the experience of it, and because everyone
I was involved with during my gestation considered it to be the norm (sort
of "Oh, well, when you start nursing..." rather than "*If* you nurse...").
I had originally planned to nurse for a year, but around 7-8 months, I just
kind of started to wear out. DD was interested in solid foods, and was
growing really well, and I was really tired of the depressed libido
side-effect that I was having. My husband was tired of that, too. So
we weaned at about that point.

FWIW, I'm hoping that, like everything else in this pregnancy, the
depressed-libido thing will not be as severe with my son. I'd like to try
to nurse him for the full year. I'm shooting for it, anyway.

Best wishes,

Donna


  #26  
Old March 1st 04, 01:44 PM
Anne Rogers
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Default Re-phrasing - Poll: (was: reasons I've heard for notbreastfeeding)

My neighbor wanted to nurse, and planned to nurse, but ended up switching to
formula after about a week - I'm not sure of all of her reasons. One reason
that she spoke about was that she didn't feel at all emotionally comfortable
with the idea of nursing, or with the physical sensation - she tried to
pump, and was able to do that for six or eight weeks, bless her heart, but
it was kind of doomed to failure, I think. It's rare, I suspect, to have a
successful experience when one is only using a pump, and not nursing. She
seemed to have had a real aversion to the sensation, however.


thanks for sharing this, in my mind this falls into a different category
of unsucessful nursing. There are more mums than you think who manage to
exclusively pump, often mums of premies, but also for other reasons, they
are amazing people.

Well, I breastfed my daughter for a number of reasons - primarily the
medical benefits that I read about, but also to burn calories (I got huge
with my last pregnancy), to have the experience of it, and because everyone
I was involved with during my gestation considered it to be the norm (sort
of "Oh, well, when you start nursing..." rather than "*If* you nurse...").
I had originally planned to nurse for a year, but around 7-8 months, I just
kind of started to wear out. DD was interested in solid foods, and was
growing really well, and I was really tired of the depressed libido
side-effect that I was having. My husband was tired of that, too. So
we weaned at about that point.


again thanks for sharing, I committed myself to 1 year, mainly because
before then it would have to be formula not cowsmilk that I gave him, I
think what ever the recommened age was I would have made a committment to
that age. Hopefully I'm better educated now, ds is 9 months and still
nursing around 5 times a day, when he hits 1 I will gradually switch his
day time feeds to cows milk, I hope he continues morning, bedtime and
possibly naptime nursing for at least another year after that.

  #27  
Old March 1st 04, 02:28 PM
Lizajane
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Default reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding

It's just so clearly better for the baby to nurse, as well as for the mom.
I lose my patience with people who "try" nursing for a week but then end up
supplementing so they could sleep more or for some other reason that seems
lame. Of course the medication issue is real and there are few medical
situations that make it difficult, but in just about every other case, it's
a matter of stick-to-it-iveness on the part of the parents.


This is definitely true, and although I flunked breastfeeding 101 the
first time around, I won't next time!! At least now I can pass on what
I learned so that other folks don't make the same mistake. My advice
to my pregnant friends is to nurse often, especially at the beginning.
I think that was my biggest problem - I didn't realize how much I
should nurse DS. The first week must be hard, but it pays off in the
end.
  #28  
Old March 1st 04, 04:14 PM
Elitsirk
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Default reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding

"CY" wrote in message news:NPz0c.6640$Zp.1756@fed1read07...


The top 3 reasons I hear:

1) It's inconvenient (HELLO! What's inconvenient about a food that's always
exactly the right temperature, always there, perfect in every way and GOOD
for your child?)


I plan to bf my baby for as long as possible, but I have to ask: are
you hearing this one from SAHM's or working moms? I wonder because as
I've thought through the process for pumping once I go back to work, I
am afraid that it will be terribly inconvenient (I still plan to try,
though...). Between the time it will take out of my day, to the fact
that the only 2 rooms in the entire office that don't have uncovered
windows (not windows to the outside, but windows into the office) are
the 2, tiny, one-seater bathrooms that I'd have to wheel a chair into,
to the fact that I'm only 1 of 2 women of childbearing age (and the
only one who's planning to have children at all), I'm thinking that
the whole pumping thing may be VERY awkward to do.

And what if I have to work late and didn't have enough milk put away?
And then there's the fear that I'll be sent on a business trip without
much advanced notice (it doesn't happen frequently, but it does
happen...usually we trip plans are figured out less than a week before
we go)--what if I don't have enough time to pump sufficient milk
before I go, or if I find it difficult to impossible to continue
pumping during off-site meetings. Or, better yet, if I try to explain
to my boss that I can't go on a trip and it ends up reflecting poorly
on my review or I get passed over for a promotion for being unable to
perform job duties. Or worse yet, I get fired for refusing an
important trip....not likely but still a fear.

Oh yeah, from what I've been reading, the better breast pumps for
daily use run somewhere around $250-300. I guess compared to several
months of formula, that might even out in the end. I do still have
the fear that I'll pay for the expensive pump, and then end up having
to wean the baby to formula anyway and will have wasted a lot of money
that we don't really have to waste.

My mom bf all of us. With my youngest sister (who's now 7), she bf
for about a year while working full time. But mom's a nurse in the
NICU, and had access at work to hospital pumps (plus worked in an
environment exceedingly friendly to mothers). I don't have those
advantages, and I'm worried about how well I'll be able to do for our
children.

*sigh* It's good to hear so much encouragement for women to bf, as I
agree that it's absolutely the best thing possible for babies. I just
wonder sometimes how well some bf-advocates really understand the
fears and/or realities that many women face when it comes to the
logistics of it all. Please consider that when you think you are
hearing "whiney" excuses from other mothers.

--Elit.
#1 due 9/20/04
  #29  
Old March 1st 04, 04:22 PM
Anne Rogers
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Default reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding

Oh yeah, from what I've been reading, the better breast pumps for
daily use run somewhere around $250-300. I guess compared to several
months of formula, that might even out in the end. I do still have
the fear that I'll pay for the expensive pump, and then end up having
to wean the baby to formula anyway and will have wasted a lot of money
that we don't really have to waste.


you don't have to wean the baby to formula, you can continue to breastfeed
as much as you can without drying up. The Ameda Purely Yours is slightly
cheaper and seems to be as good as the pumps in the range you suggest.
It's certainly possible to continue to breastfeed and just use formula
when you have to, a lot of mums do it, it might not be best, but it's
certainly better than entirely formula and any amount of time you
exclusively breastfeed for is fabulous, when will you be going back to
work?

There is a yahoo group pumpmoms which you might find very helpfull if you
do end up pumping lots.

*sigh* It's good to hear so much encouragement for women to bf, as I
agree that it's absolutely the best thing possible for babies. I just
wonder sometimes how well some bf-advocates really understand the
fears and/or realities that many women face when it comes to the
logistics of it all. Please consider that when you think you are
hearing "whiney" excuses from other mothers.


I think I do understand, breastfeeding is why I have taken over a year out
from my phd, I realised I couldn't manage to pump and complete the study I
needed, so I'm taking time out, it means it will be longer before we can
have our next child (as I need to finish the phd) but that is a sacrifice
worth making.

  #30  
Old March 1st 04, 04:31 PM
Elizabeth Reid
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Default reasons I've heard for not breastfeeding

"New York Jen" wrote in message et...

Well, proper supply is rarely a *real* issue, people just don't think they
have adequate supply because either the baby is nursing all the time (which
they are supposed to) or because they are only able to pump small amounts
(babies are MUCH more efficient suckers than even the best pump money can
buy).

It's just so clearly better for the baby to nurse, as well as for the mom.
I lose my patience with people who "try" nursing for a week but then end up
supplementing so they could sleep more or for some other reason that seems
lame. Of course the medication issue is real and there are few medical
situations that make it difficult, but in just about every other case, it's
a matter of stick-to-it-iveness on the part of the parents.


I have really mixed feelings about it personally.

Because of all the time I've spent here, I have a bad knee-jerk
reaction against people who are sure they don't have enough milk
without even trying, or who poo-poo the medical evidence with
the old anecdote defense, or who make comments about how icky it
is. It's not icky, it is clearly better, and shrugging it off
because other forms of feeding are so common just bugs me.

OTOH, my own experience with breastfeeding was not so great.
I know that the baby is 'supposed to' nurse all the time, but
personally, I found that months on end of never getting more
than a few hours sleep in a row was really, really, really
unpleasant. We never figured out how to nurse lying down, and
my son was (and is) a really light sleeper as am I, so
co-sleeping didn't seem to work very well. He never slept
very much at all as an infant, so there was never a period
when I could catch up, and it really made it hard for me
to enjoy him as much as he deserved.

When I went back to work, I found that I wasn't a good
pumper, so I was forced to supplement him with formula when
we were apart. This just made me all the more determined
to nurse him when we were together, so I was working during
the day and nursing awake all night and sleeping never, it
seemed like.

I have to admit that if we have another child who was a similar
non-sleeping constant nurser, I'd be tempted to do more supplementing
than I did so that I could get the occasional night's sleep and
feel more like a happy mom of a cute baby and not so much like
roadkill. So I know that even for someone who truly believes
that breastmilk is the best baby food and that breastfeeding is
worth a lot of effort, other concerns may take precedence.

I guess in the end that it seems reasonable to me to feel a bit
of 'huh?' about people who just robotically buy the approved formula
and plunk it in the baby's mouth, but not everybody who formula feeds
falls into that category by any means.

Beth
 




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