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#1
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Oh lord, panic attacks again...
This is just bizarre to me, WHY I suffer from panic attacks! It has been a
problem for years. I don't get them THAT often, but after about 10 years of having them occasionally- usually no more than a few a month and sometimes months go by without one..it's driving me nuts. I did not have any more in pregnancy, in my last month, after upping my Paxil. I hate even being ON Paxil! It doesn't completely take care of the problem. Sometimes it even seem to not matter that I am on it! I am not depressed and I feel okay- in fact I feel very calm since I had my baby, the best I have ever felt, and not too stressed, everything seemed to resolve and fall into place with family problems and other past worries. TWO times in the past week, I have had panic attacks. I don't even think panic or anxiety is the right word but that's the medical term used. It just happened this morning. It always seems to be that I wake up and feel like I have stopped breathing and it leaves me offkilter. I know I have posted several times about this. It just won't go away! This morning it happened- I cosleep with the baby since I am b/f-ing. I can't describe it- my pulse didn't get too rapid and I wasn't hyperventilating but I felt like I had been choked and had a hard time staying calm until the feeling blew over- I wasn't freaking out or getting hyper or anything, I was sleepy and actually kind of not fully awake. I realized what was happening and tried to breathe slowly and deep, long breaths. So I wasn't gasping for air or hyperventilating or having bad heart palpitations like I do sometimes. I didn't know what to do-- when I see that I AM breathing rapidly it's easier to talk myself down out of it, and do breathing exercises. But it was just this feeling of the walls closing in on me, the feeling that I wasn't getting enough oxygen and had just been choked etc. It was SUCH a feeling of dread, pending doom, and helplessness to make it better. The feeling alone was driving me nuts and wouldn't go away. I tried to get my mind on other things. For one I had to get up out of bed, I couldn't lie there feeling like that. I tried to get bust doing something but the feeling just persisted and it felt so bad. I ended up taking 1/4 of a klonopin. That helps cut it-- since I am not pregnant I can take one rarely if needed but I have to be careful about breastfeeding. The dr says it's ok but to cut the dose and only take it once to get it under control and watch the baby for signs of sleepiness-- I have done this 2 times and neither seemed to make the baby sleepy or any other problem. (Dr also said I probably shouldn't breastfeed if I end up needing to take klonopin more than just occasionally, and if I ever do need a full dose or more than one I should be prepared to pump and dump, and use stored milk). I'm so frustrated. I am not depressed and really want OFF the Paxil. I don't even want to depend on Klonopin but it's better than taking something daily that doesn't even work. I ahve a really great internal med/primary care physician. But this problem is not understood by a lot of doctors, it caused problems for me with the midwives because they comletely misunderstood the condition and I lost trust in them. (They attributed my complaints of Pitocin-induced labor pains when the epidural wore off, to anxiety etc, and generally dismissed all my concerns as "your anxiety".) My p-doc is REALLY great- she understands and can generally help a lot. But I am so frustrated. Therapy doesn't help this---it seems to be a feeling that I can't breathe and it seems like I really do have constricted airways sometimes. It could be allergy related. But rather than just "panic", it always is associated with not being able to breathe- and not hyperventilating or asthma, but just frozen in dread and feeling like I will choke. It very well could be sleep apnea. I had a sleep study and was diagnosed with something I don't understand "severe hypnotic" something or other, saying I get in a state of being paralyzed awake or something, but sleep apnea was ruled out. There is defintely something going on here...it's really bizarre to me, and I am so frustrated that it keeps happening and I feel like I am losing my mind (when I know I'm not!!) I just wanted to vent. I hate these occurences. It has happened twice in the past week- and it was really brief. When I take a small klonopin dose, it goes away within 30 minutes and then I am ok for days/weeks/months until it happens again. But the feeling when it's here is so bad, it fills me with dread of having it keep happening! I want to find something to take to prevent this. I don't want to take klonopin daily again, breastfeeding is much more important to me. SSRI's don't work. The best things so far seem to be allergy meds and cortosteroid nasal sprays to keep my breathing as free as possible. Is this totally weird? It is embarassing and a lot of doctors just don't understand it. My p-doc does and thinks my airways are constricted and it also is very related to my sleep study diagnosis. WTF is "hypnotic" sleep anyway??? Other than that things are excellent. The baby is eating well and is so sweet, and I have really taken up with her and my husband is being a doll (most of the time). No problems whatsoever. Jill |
#2
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Oh lord, panic attacks again...
Jill,
I'm wondering if this is just something you are going to have to accept in your life at this point. Since you are nursing, you can't really take anything long term. Your doctors don't seem to know what is causing it, or how to reliably stop it, without meds. Even with meds, it wasn't reliably stopped. So, this may just be something that you are going to have to live with, and accept. You have panic attacks. You are going to have them at random times, mostly when waking up. You are not going to die from them -- although unpleasant, they will not kill you. They will pass. They suck, but they are here to stay for a while. Just accept them. When you have weaned Rachel, you can take a medication as a prophylactic, but until then, you can't. Sometimes there aren't answers. -- Jamie & Taylor Earth Angel, 1/3/03 Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6 |
#3
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Oh lord, panic attacks again...
"Jill" wrote in message om... This is just bizarre to me, WHY I suffer from panic attacks! It has been a problem for years. I don't get them THAT often, but after about 10 years of having them occasionally- usually no more than a few a month and sometimes months go by without one..it's driving me nuts. I did not have any more in pregnancy, in my last month, after upping my Paxil. I hate even being ON Paxil! It doesn't completely take care of the problem. Sometimes it even seem to not matter that I am on it! I am not depressed and I feel okay- in fact I feel very calm since I had my baby, the best I have ever felt, and not too stressed, everything seemed to resolve and fall into place with family problems and other past worries. TWO times in the past week, I have had panic attacks. I don't even think panic or anxiety is the right word but that's the medical term used. It just happened this morning. It always seems to be that I wake up and feel like I have stopped breathing and it leaves me offkilter. I know I have posted several times about this. It just won't go away! This morning it happened- I cosleep with the baby since I am b/f-ing. I can't describe it- my pulse didn't get too rapid and I wasn't hyperventilating but I felt like I had been choked and had a hard time staying calm until the feeling blew over- I wasn't freaking out or getting hyper or anything, I was sleepy and actually kind of not fully awake. I realized what was happening and tried to breathe slowly and deep, long breaths. So I wasn't gasping for air or hyperventilating or having bad heart palpitations like I do sometimes. I didn't know what to do-- when I see that I AM breathing rapidly it's easier to talk myself down out of it, and do breathing exercises. But it was just this feeling of the walls closing in on me, the feeling that I wasn't getting enough oxygen and had just been choked etc. It was SUCH a feeling of dread, pending doom, and helplessness to make it better. The feeling alone was driving me nuts and wouldn't go away. I tried to get my mind on other things. For one I had to get up out of bed, I couldn't lie there feeling like that. I tried to get bust doing something but the feeling just persisted and it felt so bad. I ended up taking 1/4 of a klonopin. That helps cut it-- since I am not pregnant I can take one rarely if needed but I have to be careful about breastfeeding. The dr says it's ok but to cut the dose and only take it once to get it under control and watch the baby for signs of sleepiness-- I have done this 2 times and neither seemed to make the baby sleepy or any other problem. (Dr also said I probably shouldn't breastfeed if I end up needing to take klonopin more than just occasionally, and if I ever do need a full dose or more than one I should be prepared to pump and dump, and use stored milk). I'm so frustrated. I am not depressed and really want OFF the Paxil. I don't even want to depend on Klonopin but it's better than taking something daily that doesn't even work. I ahve a really great internal med/primary care physician. But this problem is not understood by a lot of doctors, it caused problems for me with the midwives because they comletely misunderstood the condition and I lost trust in them. (They attributed my complaints of Pitocin-induced labor pains when the epidural wore off, to anxiety etc, and generally dismissed all my concerns as "your anxiety".) My p-doc is REALLY great- she understands and can generally help a lot. But I am so frustrated. Therapy doesn't help this---it seems to be a feeling that I can't breathe and it seems like I really do have constricted airways sometimes. It could be allergy related. But rather than just "panic", it always is associated with not being able to breathe- and not hyperventilating or asthma, but just frozen in dread and feeling like I wi ll choke. It very well could be sleep apnea. I had a sleep study and was diagnosed with something I don't understand "severe hypnotic" something or other, saying I get in a state of being paralyzed awake or something, but sleep apnea was ruled out. There is defintely something going on here...it's really bizarre to me, and I am so frustrated that it keeps happening and I feel like I am losing my mind (when I know I'm not!!) I just wanted to vent. I hate these occurences. It has happened twice in the past week- and it was really brief. When I take a small klonopin dose, it goes away within 30 minutes and then I am ok for days/weeks/months until it happens again. But the feeling when it's here is so bad, it fills me with dread of having it keep happening! I want to find something to take to prevent this. I don't want to take klonopin daily again, breastfeeding is much more important to me. SSRI's don't work. The best things so far seem to be allergy meds and cortosteroid nasal sprays to keep my breathing as free as possible. Is this totally weird? It is embarassing and a lot of doctors just don't understand it. My p-doc does and thinks my airways are constricted and it also is very related to my sleep study diagnosis. WTF is "hypnotic" sleep anyway??? Other than that things are excellent. The baby is eating well and is so sweet, and I have really taken up with her and my husband is being a doll (most of the time). No problems whatsoever. Jill Have any of your doctors suggested that you are having seizures? A friend had similar episodes w/ no stress to point to. She was finally diagnosed properly as an epileptic. She takes the right meds now and no probs. Sabine |
#4
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Oh lord, panic attacks again...
Jill wrote:
choke. It very well could be sleep apnea. I had a sleep study and was diagnosed with something I don't understand "severe hypnotic" something or Hypnogogic? (aka hypnagogic) Or hypnopompic? Probably hypnopompic since that refers to the state of sleep just upon awakening (and hypnogogic is the state just before falling asleep). Anyway, you can look those things up. Maybe you'll find something useful. BTW, I've had hypnogogic and hypnopompic hallucinations before, coupled with the crushing chest / inability to breathe thing (which I think they call sleep paralysis). The inability to breathe thing only happened once and it was pretty freaky (would have been less freaky if I had not been hallucinating in a big way right along with it - maybe this is what it's like to have a bad trip, but I wouldn't know since I have never done nor will I ever do drugs). All the other stuff was just plain funny (part of me was always aware that I was not functioning properly, so I never got freaked, and besides I almost always snapped out of it immediately, and with no lasting effects, if someone simply spoke to me). Haven't had an episode in a long while, though. Happened more to me as a kid. I've also had some sleep walking (these are the only things I couldn't snap out of quickly if someone spoke to me), which was also always pretty funny. I sincerely hope that my kiddo doesn't inherit any of this, though. I imagine that it will be tougher to watch someone else go through it than it was to go through it myself. Anyway, since you always have trouble with breathing whenever you have an episode, I can see why this is affecting you so much. Oh, and before you ask, no, I don't know anything about possible treatments. It has never been a problem for me, so I never sought treatment. My father had it much worse and he never sought treatment, either, but then he also never really had the crushing chest problem (he just had stronger hallucinations that he couldn't snap out of, and which were also longer lasting, oh and he sleep walked a lot more and unlike me he never grew out of it). |
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