question about spacing of male siblings

I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well? I am especially interested in first and
second-born boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy although we are
not choosing gender. I am just wondering about spacing of two male
sibs, and how it affects their interactions with each other.
-L.

"-L." wrote in message
oups.com...
I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well? I am especially interested in first and
second-born boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy although we are
not choosing gender. I am just wondering about spacing of two male
sibs, and how it affects their interactions with each other.
-L.

Really I think it depends on their personalities. I know boys close in age
(less than 2 years apart) who squabble continuously, and those who are very
close, and share everything without being asked. Ditto for far apart.
Dh has two brothers and gets on much better with the one who is 4.5 years
younger, rather than 1.5 years younger. My mum always got on best with her
sibling that was 14 years younger, and probably worst with the one 2 years
older... but her interests matched the youngest sibling closest and the
older one least.
As you're adopting I think I'd say that I wouldn't adopt one who is
approximately the same age, particularly in the same school year. I think
that could cause more problems with rivallry as he's suddenly got this
intense competition in all that he does. But that's my opinion rather than
an observation.
Debbie

"-L." wrote in
oups.com:

I am interested in hearing from people who have two male
siblings who are next to each other in birth order. How
far apart are your boys, and what kind of relationship do
they have with each other? Do you have other children as
well? I am especially interested in first and second-born
boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy
although we are not choosing gender. I am just wondering
about spacing of two male sibs, and how it affects their
interactions with each other.

for a limited sample of one, my brothers are 6 years apart &
have never really interacted with each other. the older one
didn't play with the younger one unless he wanted to play with
me and i was playing with the younger one (i'm 16 months
younger than my older brother & not quite 5 years older than
my younger).
Boo is requesting a sister his age & a brother about 3... i
need bigger/more bedrooms!
lee
--
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the
guise of
fighting a foreign enemy. -James Madison, fourth US president
(1751-1836)

"-L." wrote in message
oups.com...
I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well? I am especially interested in first and
second-born boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy although we are
not choosing gender. I am just wondering about spacing of two male
sibs, and how it affects their interactions with each other.
-L.

my two boys are almost exactly 3 years apart (i'd have preferred 2.5 years,
but there you are). mine do fight regularly, but they are extremely close
(that sentence will make sense when you have two children ;-) at 3 years
apart they are close enough in age to share numerous interests & interact in
ways they both get something from, enjoy the same activities etc, but far
enough apart that the elder can be in charge of the younger legitimately (to
younger's eyes) when necessary, or that privileges one gets at this time
that the other has grown out of/not old enough for yet aren't seen as a
problem, & things like that. (whereas my brother & i, at 2 years apart, were
much more peers, with the attendent competition). i find 3 years to be a
good spacing, although 2 years would have been fine too imo.
kylie

-L. wrote:
I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well? I am especially interested in first and
second-born boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy although we are
not choosing gender. I am just wondering about spacing of two male
sibs, and how it affects their interactions with each other.

Sorry, but I think this is a fruitless endeavor.
There just isn't any spacing that guarantees a smooth
ride or a difficult one. My first two are boys and are
2.5 years apart. They have good days and bad days. They
share a lot of interests and activities, but have different
temperaments. I have a six year gap between #2 and #3.
I think you have to decide based on what you *know*.
You know what your energy level is like, and what your
financial situation is like, and what your first child's
temperament is like. You haven't a clue what #2's
temperament would be like, and even if you did it's
tough to predict how two temperaments will interact.
About as far as you can go is to say that
the likelihood that you can entertain them both with
similar activities is slightly higher when they're
closer in age. Even that is far from a guarantee,
though. You might have one that is super active and
one that is more sedate by nature.

Best wishes,
Ericka

0tterbot wrote:
"-L." wrote in message
oups.com...
I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well? I am especially interested in first and
second-born boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy although we are
not choosing gender. I am just wondering about spacing of two male
sibs, and how it affects their interactions with each other.
-L.

my two boys are almost exactly 3 years apart (i'd have preferred 2.5 years,
but there you are). mine do fight regularly, but they are extremely close
(that sentence will make sense when you have two children ;-) at 3 years
apart they are close enough in age to share numerous interests & interact in
ways they both get something from, enjoy the same activities etc, but far
enough apart that the elder can be in charge of the younger legitimately (to
younger's eyes) when necessary, or that privileges one gets at this time
that the other has grown out of/not old enough for yet aren't seen as a
problem, & things like that. (whereas my brother & i, at 2 years apart, were
much more peers, with the attendent competition). i find 3 years to be a
good spacing, although 2 years would have been fine too imo.
kylie

Thanks - ours will be at least 3 years apart, I think. Your input was
helpful
-L.

Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Sorry, but I think this is a fruitless endeavor.
There just isn't any spacing that guarantees a smooth
ride or a difficult one.

I'm merely looking for experiences. They will be spaced however far
apart they are spaced - I am just looking at what others have observed
in their own familes.

My first two are boys and are
2.5 years apart. They have good days and bad days. They
share a lot of interests and activities, but have different
temperaments. I have a six year gap between #2 and #3.
I think you have to decide based on what you *know*.
You know what your energy level is like, and what your
financial situation is like, and what your first child's
temperament is like. You haven't a clue what #2's
temperament would be like, and even if you did it's
tough to predict how two temperaments will interact.
About as far as you can go is to say that
the likelihood that you can entertain them both with
similar activities is slightly higher when they're
closer in age. Even that is far from a guarantee,
though. You might have one that is super active and
one that is more sedate by nature.

I think there is some point where the gap is so large (5,6,7 years)
that the second sib is almost like an only child, because the elder
sibs are in school all day and with a SAHM, the baby gets all the
attention during the day.

I don't want to wait that long, simply because I will be too old.

-L.

Welches wrote:
Really I think it depends on their personalities. I know boys close in age
(less than 2 years apart) who squabble continuously, and those who are very
close, and share everything without being asked. Ditto for far apart.
Dh has two brothers and gets on much better with the one who is 4.5 years
younger, rather than 1.5 years younger. My mum always got on best with her
sibling that was 14 years younger, and probably worst with the one 2 years
older... but her interests matched the youngest sibling closest and the
older one least.
As you're adopting I think I'd say that I wouldn't adopt one who is
approximately the same age, particularly in the same school year. I think
that could cause more problems with rivallry as he's suddenly got this
intense competition in all that he does. But that's my opinion rather than
an observation.
Debbie

I think we will be doing infant adoption again, so that won't be a
problem. Thanks for your input.

-L.

enigma wrote:

for a limited sample of one, my brothers are 6 years apart &
have never really interacted with each other. the older one
didn't play with the younger one unless he wanted to play with
me and i was playing with the younger one (i'm 16 months
younger than my older brother & not quite 5 years older than
my younger).
Boo is requesting a sister his age & a brother about 3... i
need bigger/more bedrooms!
lee

My brothers are 4 years apart (children #3 and 4 of 6 total) and never
really interacted. They are very different personalities, though.

I am feeling pressure from DS for a baby, too. It's "baby, baby, baby"
all the time. Ideally I would like to have him potty trained and in
preschool but that may be a tad too late as he has to wait until he is
3 y 9m to attend the good preschool here. I also don't want to
introduce preschool and baby too close together...

-L.

-L. wrote:
I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well? I am especially interested in first and
second-born boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy although we are
not choosing gender. I am just wondering about spacing of two male
sibs, and how it affects their interactions with each other.
-L.

My boys are 2.5 years apart. So far, Mick shows very little interest
in Noah as a playmate, and absolutely did not like the baby when we
brought him home from the hospital. 15 months later, however, he has
gotten used to "bruh-der" and becomes very anxious if he thinks Noah
will be left behind or left out of an activity, and so in his own way,
he is becoming protective of Noah. Sometimes Mick will ask me if he
can "pet" his brother and then pat him lightly on the head. I'm hoping
that he will continue to warm up to him as time passes.

Good luck on your adoption plans!

lisa