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question about spacing of male siblings



 
 
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  #11  
Old May 7th 06, 04:20 AM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings

-L. wrote:

I think there is some point where the gap is so large (5,6,7 years)
that the second sib is almost like an only child, because the elder
sibs are in school all day and with a SAHM, the baby gets all the
attention during the day.


Yes, my #3 is much like that. I actually think
it's kind of nice in many ways.

I don't want to wait that long, simply because I will be too old.


Well, that pretty much trumps other arguments, eh?

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #12  
Old May 7th 06, 04:58 AM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings


"-L." wrote in message
oups.com...
I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well? I am especially interested in first and
second-born boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy although we are
not choosing gender. I am just wondering about spacing of two male
sibs, and how it affects their interactions with each other.
-L.


DS1 is 1 year, 1 month and 2 days older than DS2. DD is 4 and a half years
(4 year, 6 months, 4 days) younger than DS2. DD will be 15 months for #4's
EDD.

Soo.. That leaves me with a 6 year old, 5 year old and 9 month old. DSs get
along great - most of the time. Just as any other siblings, they have their
moments of good and bad.
My brother is about a month short of 3 years younger than I am. My other
brother is a couple months off of 6 years younger than I am. Brothers are 3
years apart in age, and from what I recall, they got along fine when they
were younger. Now, at 17 and just about 20, they're CONSTANTLY at
eachother's necks. Then again, I had always stood back when we were
younger, but it seems now that the youngest is constantly asking for a
beating from me at times, yet my brother (the middle one of us) and I get
along just great. That wasn't the case when we were younger, happened
within the last maybe 4 or so years that we became close and civilized with
eachother. The youngest, however, is a totally different story
I doubt there's any 'ideal' age difference for siblings. You can say close
in age is a good playmate, but close in age could also mean fighting over
attention and competition. Further apart in age could mean nothing in
common, but also the older one could be a big help and be the best 'big
brother' or 'big sister' to the younger one.
I would put my money down that there's an equal amount of pros and cons,
good and bad, and that's just with siblings in general, and I would bet that
it often has little to do with age difference...


  #13  
Old May 7th 06, 12:13 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings

In article .com,
"-L." wrote:

I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other?


My feeling is that the advantages and disadvantages fall into two categories:
a) the obvious ones relating to age difference, and
b) the inescapable ones relating to personality difference.

Our boys are 5y2mo and 11mo. They adore each other -- except when DS2
interrupts DS1's activities! To see them getting on so well is a delight, and
they play together quite well a lot of the time.

The advantages of a 4-year age gap a

- older child is more independent
- older child is more patient, unlike a toddler
- older child is more understanding of the baby's need for attention, rather
than just jealous

The disadvantages will be more apparent later. The developmental gap between
13 and 9, or 16 and 12, is much greater than the gap between 5 and 1. Swings
and roundabouts...

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may
start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled."
Kerry Cue
  #14  
Old May 7th 06, 04:25 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings


Chookie wrote:
In article .com,
"-L." wrote:

I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other?


My feeling is that the advantages and disadvantages fall into two categories:
a) the obvious ones relating to age difference, and
b) the inescapable ones relating to personality difference.

Our boys are 5y2mo and 11mo. They adore each other -- except when DS2
interrupts DS1's activities! To see them getting on so well is a delight, and
they play together quite well a lot of the time.

The advantages of a 4-year age gap a

- older child is more independent
- older child is more patient, unlike a toddler
- older child is more understanding of the baby's need for attention, rather
than just jealous

The disadvantages will be more apparent later. The developmental gap between
13 and 9, or 16 and 12, is much greater than the gap between 5 and 1. Swings
and roundabouts...


Understood! I think at some point the gap gets big enough that as they
grow they don't have as much in common WRT interests. It can be ok if
both have friends in the neighborhood but disasterous if one has
friends and the other doesn't...

-L.

  #15  
Old May 7th 06, 04:26 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings


karlisa wrote:

My boys are 2.5 years apart. So far, Mick shows very little interest
in Noah as a playmate, and absolutely did not like the baby when we
brought him home from the hospital. 15 months later, however, he has
gotten used to "bruh-der" and becomes very anxious if he thinks Noah
will be left behind or left out of an activity, and so in his own way,
he is becoming protective of Noah. Sometimes Mick will ask me if he
can "pet" his brother and then pat him lightly on the head.


Sweet!

I'm hoping
that he will continue to warm up to him as time passes.

Good luck on your adoption plans!


Thanks! We are still at the thinking stage now. We have been offered
a number of babies in the last couple of months so it spurred the "what
if" conversations...
-L.

  #16  
Old May 7th 06, 04:28 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings


xkatx wrote:
snip

I would put my money down that there's an equal amount of pros and cons,
good and bad, and that's just with siblings in general, and I would bet that
it often has little to do with age difference...


Agreed - to some extent. I just wanted to see what others have
observed. I don't think there is ever a "right" or "perfect" time to
add a sib.

-L.

  #17  
Old May 7th 06, 08:38 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings


"Chookie" wrote in message
...
In article .com,
"-L." wrote:

I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other?


My feeling is that the advantages and disadvantages fall into two

categories:
a) the obvious ones relating to age difference, and
b) the inescapable ones relating to personality difference.

Our boys are 5y2mo and 11mo. They adore each other -- except when DS2
interrupts DS1's activities! To see them getting on so well is a delight,

and
they play together quite well a lot of the time.

The advantages of a 4-year age gap a

- older child is more independent
- older child is more patient, unlike a toddler
- older child is more understanding of the baby's need for attention,

rather
than just jealous

The disadvantages will be more apparent later. The developmental gap

between
13 and 9, or 16 and 12, is much greater than the gap between 5 and 1.

Swings
and roundabouts...


Our boys are 16,12 (almost 13) and 8, so I know what you mean. It's been
mostly good though.


  #18  
Old May 8th 06, 04:09 AM posted to misc.kids
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Posts: n/a
Default question about spacing of male siblings


"-L." wrote in message
oups.com...
I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well?


My first two are boys and 24 months apart. They are 7yo and 5yo now. They
get along like typical siblings. They are close, care about one another,
and are often playing very well together. They also bicker, argue, and
fight ;-) I recently had two more boys. They are both in love with the
babies. No jealousy or negative behaviors at all at this point. That may
change as the babies get older and more demanding and interfering though!

My husband has two brothers. The boys are the three youngest of five total
children. There is three years between each boy. I have no idea how
childhood went but they get along great now as adults and I've never heard
anything negative about childhood. Dh spends a lot of time with the brother
that is 6yrs older then him as they have very similar interests and are
equally obsessive. Middle brother has similar interests but doesn't devote
most his life to them, lol.


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06


  #19  
Old May 8th 06, 04:41 AM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings

I think there's a *social* gap between 13 and 9, or 16 and 12, but the
developmental gap is surely much bigger now, between 5 and 1? Seems to
me in terms of what they can really *do* together, they'd be closer at
13 and 9, things like swimming, climbing trees, playing cards or board
games, talking about books or movies or sports, etc. Whether the
13-year-old would be *willing* to do that with the 9-year-old, now ...
that's another thing.

Incidentally, I had an almost-four-years-older brother, as well as a
lot of still older siblings, and now have two 11-year-olds and a
7-year-old. Dunno if a four years' gap just seems normal to me, or
what. If I'd had only one baby first, I might have been willing to go
for a shorter interval. I'd say the 11-year-olds each get on better
with the 7-year-old than they do with each other, really.

--Helen

  #20  
Old May 8th 06, 06:34 AM posted to misc.kids
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Default question about spacing of male siblings

Hi,

I have 3 sons aged 1, 4.5 and 6 years old. The oldest two are very
close and play a lot together, they also argue like any siblings do and
the older tends to boss the younger. They are very loyal to each other
and the older feels protective of the younger. Due to the closeness in
age they have many shared interests and activities, they share a room
and all their toys. Actually they play more together than separately or
with other friends.

They both adore the baby and play with him and have shown very little
jealousy. There is a special connection between my eldest and my baby.
My eldest often chooses to play with the baby over other activites. My
baby saves his biggest smiles and laughs for all the silly things DS1
does to amuse him. I should mention that DS1 really likes babies in
general which probably helps and DS2 tends to copy him.

I think having the boys close in age means there are many shared
activites, I can even read the same bedtime story to the older two. I
am also very close in age to my brother (less than 2 years apart) and
we are very close (both as children and adults).

I hope this helps,
Helen

Mum to:
Eran (Feb 2000)
Hillel (August 2001)
Uri (April 2005)



-L. wrote:
I am interested in hearing from people who have two male siblings who
are next to each other in birth order. How far apart are your boys,
and what kind of relationship do they have with each other? Do you
have other children as well? I am especially interested in first and
second-born boys. TIA for any input. We are contemplating adopting
again and most likely will be placed with a another boy although we are
not choosing gender. I am just wondering about spacing of two male
sibs, and how it affects their interactions with each other.
-L.


 




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