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#21
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A bit of a vent :-)
Lori writes:
When I lived in Sunnyvale, I worked in Palo Alto as a nanny for two families. They each had one child that were 6 months apart in age. I took them out almost daily for a walk and I got comments all the time asking if they were twins and saying 'double trouble' and all that. These people didn't block our path and drill me with questions for 5 minutes. But I did get quite a lot of comments. Are you saying people completely ignored you? Or you just didn't get asked several intrusive questions? Sure, some people notice us. People ask, "Are they twins?" and they say, "You must have your hands full," stuff like that. So far, it's always struck me as "friendly conversation" rather than "intrusive questions." I don't ever remember being slowed down, or inconvenienced, by strangers, as some people complain happens a lot to them. Don't recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a couple that I just shrugged off. I recall more disapproving looks from people who don't like one aspect or another of how I handle the kids (usually giving them too much rope in a store, something like that)--- but those people don't tend to go as far as to actually say anything, and anyway, I'd probably get just as much of that with non-twins. David desJardins |
#22
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A bit of a vent :-)
David desJardins wrote:
Sure, some people notice us. People ask, "Are they twins?" and they say, "You must have your hands full," stuff like that. So far, it's always struck me as "friendly conversation" rather than "intrusive questions." I don't ever remember being slowed down, or inconvenienced, by strangers, as some people complain happens a lot to them. Don't recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a couple that I just shrugged off. I recall more disapproving looks from people who don't like one aspect or another of how I handle the kids (usually giving them too much rope in a store, something like that)--- but those people don't tend to go as far as to actually say anything, and anyway, I'd probably get just as much of that with non-twins. How about your dw? I've noticed that my dh doesn't get bothered by people as much as I do. As a result, when the whole family goes out shopping, I tend to let him take the twins while I fill up another grocery cart on my own. Then again, I've always had strangers approach me for directions, and things like that. :-) I've also noticed that I was approached less in the larger cities than in the smaller towns. -- Brigitte aa #2145 edd #3 February 15, 2004 http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/ "Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare." ~ Harriet Martineau |
#23
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A bit of a vent :-)
David desJardins wrote:
Sure, some people notice us. People ask, "Are they twins?" and they say, "You must have your hands full," stuff like that. So far, it's always struck me as "friendly conversation" rather than "intrusive questions." I don't ever remember being slowed down, or inconvenienced, by strangers, as some people complain happens a lot to them. Don't recall any rude questions either, although there might have been a couple that I just shrugged off. I recall more disapproving looks from people who don't like one aspect or another of how I handle the kids (usually giving them too much rope in a store, something like that)--- but those people don't tend to go as far as to actually say anything, and anyway, I'd probably get just as much of that with non-twins. How about your dw? I've noticed that my dh doesn't get bothered by people as much as I do. As a result, when the whole family goes out shopping, I tend to let him take the twins while I fill up another grocery cart on my own. Then again, I've always had strangers approach me for directions, and things like that. :-) I've also noticed that I was approached less in the larger cities than in the smaller towns. -- Brigitte aa #2145 edd #3 February 15, 2004 http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/ "Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare." ~ Harriet Martineau |
#24
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A bit of a vent :-)
"DeliciousTruffles" wrote in message Now, I just don't look at anyone. It works. If they can't catch your attention, they won't stop you. That's always been my tactic, avoid eye contact at all costs...lol -- Andrea If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a horrible warning. |
#25
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A bit of a vent :-)
"DeliciousTruffles" wrote in message Now, I just don't look at anyone. It works. If they can't catch your attention, they won't stop you. That's always been my tactic, avoid eye contact at all costs...lol -- Andrea If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a horrible warning. |
#26
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A bit of a vent :-)
"The Huwe Family" wrote in message We practically could not move through the store because every time we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our babies. They younger they are the more it happens, multiple babies attract the comments and looks, it's not so bad as they get older (for fraternal anyway) as they just look like close siblings and you don't get stopped as much. It's mighty frustrating though, you'll develop a tactic, selective deafness or impaired sight is usually the best way ;-) -- Andrea If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a horrible warning. |
#27
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A bit of a vent :-)
"The Huwe Family" wrote in message We practically could not move through the store because every time we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our babies. They younger they are the more it happens, multiple babies attract the comments and looks, it's not so bad as they get older (for fraternal anyway) as they just look like close siblings and you don't get stopped as much. It's mighty frustrating though, you'll develop a tactic, selective deafness or impaired sight is usually the best way ;-) -- Andrea If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a horrible warning. |
#28
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A bit of a vent :-)
Gayle,
Welcome to the freak show called "having multiples". Although, I only have twins, I still get stopped all the time. A friendly word of advice...kepp those babies home!! Especially, since they are preemies, I wouldn't be bringing them out so soon. Will they be getting the RSV vaccine? I am not telling you what to do, really. Just a little more experience. ~Megan~ Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie Born September 28, 2002 www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis |
#29
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A bit of a vent :-)
Gayle,
Welcome to the freak show called "having multiples". Although, I only have twins, I still get stopped all the time. A friendly word of advice...kepp those babies home!! Especially, since they are preemies, I wouldn't be bringing them out so soon. Will they be getting the RSV vaccine? I am not telling you what to do, really. Just a little more experience. ~Megan~ Aidan Matthew & Alexis Valerie Born September 28, 2002 www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis |
#30
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A bit of a vent :-)
I can't tell if they were in a triple stroller or in car seats in a cart or
what ... but divide and conquer is the only way to solve this if you can't stand it. I think it is likely, as Brigitte said, that men would get fewer comments, at least it's worth a try. As others stated, avoid eye contact. I also perfected a firm-smile-and-look-away tactic that worked well when I was in a hurry. Personally, the "personal" questions didn't bother me. I didn't get too many "poor you" comments, so that was OK. But on the IVF stuff -- I used to say "Yup, IVF and born by C-section. Nothing the tiniest bit "natural" about these kids". With a big grin that clearly indicated "They're human beings you moron, how could they be any more "natural" or "unnatural" than any other kids?" On the "are they twins?" question ... dh came up with "yes, three pairs of twins, these two, these two and these two". On that and on "are they identical" I was always very polite -- just used to say "no, even the boys are fraternal and one looks like me and one looks like his father, not at all identical". I never felt the need to point out the anatomical details of B v G to separate Hanna out. It is a simple fact that *tiny* babies get the most attention, which is *precisely* of course the time when you are least prepared, most tired and least likely to enjoy or tolerate it. For triplets, as opposed to twins, I think the attention will continue fairly unabated until you get rid of the triplet stroller (for us that was almost exactly age three). At that point they will look more like siblings -- unless you dress them all perfectly coordinated, of course. Til then you will have to work around it (two strollers; two strollers plus front/back - pack; shop alone; two carts; ignore everyone; carry a sign saying "shut up") or just bear it. One excellent piece of advice which I never had the nerve/time/organization/materials to apply: attach a sign or two or ten to the stroller saying "PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH". These first TWO winters especially, you either need to stay home (my solution) or do *something* to keep the germs away. This year the germs could kill them; next year the sicknesses could kill you from over-work. --Janet Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96) and Holly (4/4/01) "The Huwe Family" wrote in message .com... Ok, I knew I was in for it when I had Triplets, but I never realized the extent of how other people think that common courtesy doesn't apply when it comes to interacting with people with multiple children. Here's what I mean . . . Last Sunday, my mom, my DH, myself, and my children went to Babies R Us to try to spend some of the gift certificates we received at our recent baby shower. We practically could not move through the store because every time we did, we had people stopping us with comments about our babies. That was annoying after a while, but it was still ok. I know that triplets cause a stir. But the questions they asked were totally uncalled for, and frankly, none of their business. I had comments from "Did you use fertility?" to "Are you breastfeeding?" I felt like asking them "If I had just one baby here, would you be asking me these questions?" My mom asked me if I expected all the attention caused by having triplets. I told her that I had expected people to whisper about it to the people they are with, but I had no idea that we would be stopped every 5 minutes by some complete stranger wanting to look at them and ask questions. I took it in stride, but my DH was getting quite angry because it took 3x as long to go shopping as it normally would have if we had been left alone. (of course he is operating on a lack of sleep also, causing him to not be as understanding as he normally would have been. Ha Ha) Gayle |
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