What do you say...

My mom's pat answer was something on the "right now, one is giving me a
bad day; it will change soon."


That's a good one.

Stephanie
Jake and Ryan 9/3/99

Well, I try to remember that people don't mean any harm when they say these
kinds of things, and that helps me not to get so irritated. I know that's
easier said than done, though. That being said, when people try to label
them or ask me who's "the good one" and who's "the bad one" I usually say
"Well, it depends on their mood." It's not terribly clever, but it usually
shuts them up. )

Tori
Mommy to
Lauren & Madison
4/4/01

Well, I try to remember that people don't mean any harm when they say these
kinds of things, and that helps me not to get so irritated. I know that's
easier said than done, though. That being said, when people try to label
them or ask me who's "the good one" and who's "the bad one" I usually say
"Well, it depends on their mood." It's not terribly clever, but it usually
shuts them up. )

Tori
Mommy to
Lauren & Madison
4/4/01

I don't really understand why it is a problem to be asked which is "louder",
"quieter" or "dominant", "blah blah", because to my mind the OP answered her
own question here -- a question like that doesn't conflict with what the OP
said (each baby "simply has a different style"). Well, yes, and that
different style could well be quieter, louder, more dominant ..... whatever
the person is asking. I have one who is more sensitive, one more whine-y
and one more strident and it wouldn't bother me to admit that to a stranger.
OTOH, all three are perfectionists (hate to get things wrong), etc. So I'd
just answer the truth -- just like any siblings, one is or isn't fussier
generally OR they are both the same overall but act differently at different
times. I think people understand that perfectly well.

Having said that -- I have never been asked which of mine was good/bad so I
don't have a practiced answer BUT it obviously is a stupid or even offensive
question. Still I think I would answer it simply -- "Which is the evil one?
ha ha Well, none of them of course, they're all great kids, but if you
mean which one is more difficult, well that just depends on the moment."
Probably laughing hysterically as I answer, to show how silly it is.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)


"telmgren" wrote in message
. com...
Well, I try to remember that people don't mean any harm when they say
these
kinds of things, and that helps me not to get so irritated. I know that's
easier said than done, though. That being said, when people try to label
them or ask me who's "the good one" and who's "the bad one" I usually say
"Well, it depends on their mood." It's not terribly clever, but it
usually
shuts them up. )

Tori
Mommy to
Lauren & Madison
4/4/01

I don't really understand why it is a problem to be asked which is "louder",
"quieter" or "dominant", "blah blah", because to my mind the OP answered her
own question here -- a question like that doesn't conflict with what the OP
said (each baby "simply has a different style"). Well, yes, and that
different style could well be quieter, louder, more dominant ..... whatever
the person is asking. I have one who is more sensitive, one more whine-y
and one more strident and it wouldn't bother me to admit that to a stranger.
OTOH, all three are perfectionists (hate to get things wrong), etc. So I'd
just answer the truth -- just like any siblings, one is or isn't fussier
generally OR they are both the same overall but act differently at different
times. I think people understand that perfectly well.

Having said that -- I have never been asked which of mine was good/bad so I
don't have a practiced answer BUT it obviously is a stupid or even offensive
question. Still I think I would answer it simply -- "Which is the evil one?
ha ha Well, none of them of course, they're all great kids, but if you
mean which one is more difficult, well that just depends on the moment."
Probably laughing hysterically as I answer, to show how silly it is.

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)


"telmgren" wrote in message
. com...
Well, I try to remember that people don't mean any harm when they say
these
kinds of things, and that helps me not to get so irritated. I know that's
easier said than done, though. That being said, when people try to label
them or ask me who's "the good one" and who's "the bad one" I usually say
"Well, it depends on their mood." It's not terribly clever, but it
usually
shuts them up. )

Tori
Mommy to
Lauren & Madison
4/4/01

"Marie" wrote in message

...when people try to "label" your twins as "the good one"
and "the
demanding one," or terms to that effect?


Like others I just say they change all the time.
But on a similar note...
/start rant
One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her
notes the other day at an appointment and noticed in her
profile they had labelled her a non-identical twin. That
really irked me. Why could they not just call her a
fraternal twin, do they equally call identical twins
non-fraternal twins? No, they don't. Your either identical
or non-identical, a sneech with stars or without.
Hump as if being identical is the only way to reference
multiples..../rant over


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

"Marie" wrote in message

...when people try to "label" your twins as "the good one"
and "the
demanding one," or terms to that effect?


Like others I just say they change all the time.
But on a similar note...
/start rant
One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her
notes the other day at an appointment and noticed in her
profile they had labelled her a non-identical twin. That
really irked me. Why could they not just call her a
fraternal twin, do they equally call identical twins
non-fraternal twins? No, they don't. Your either identical
or non-identical, a sneech with stars or without.
Hump as if being identical is the only way to reference
multiples..../rant over


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

Andrea writes:
One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her notes the
other day at an appointment and noticed in her profile they had
labelled her a non-identical twin. That really irked me. Why could
they not just call her a fraternal twin, do they equally call
identical twins non-fraternal twins?

I think identical/non-identical is common medical terminology.
Admittedly, monozygotic/dizygotic is more "scientific" (and avoids the
implication that "identical" twins are exactly the same), but those
don't really roll off most people's tongues. I think the medical
community avoids the term "fraternal" because its primary meaning is
"brotherly" or "friendly" ("fraternal" comes from the Latin term for
"brother"), so it's rather an odd usage (i.e., twins that aren't
"fraternal" can still be brothers, or friendly).

It's hardly the only case whether the colloquial term ("fraternal") is
different from the common medical usage ("non-identical").

David desJardins

Andrea writes:
One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her notes the
other day at an appointment and noticed in her profile they had
labelled her a non-identical twin. That really irked me. Why could
they not just call her a fraternal twin, do they equally call
identical twins non-fraternal twins?

I think identical/non-identical is common medical terminology.
Admittedly, monozygotic/dizygotic is more "scientific" (and avoids the
implication that "identical" twins are exactly the same), but those
don't really roll off most people's tongues. I think the medical
community avoids the term "fraternal" because its primary meaning is
"brotherly" or "friendly" ("fraternal" comes from the Latin term for
"brother"), so it's rather an odd usage (i.e., twins that aren't
"fraternal" can still be brothers, or friendly).

It's hardly the only case whether the colloquial term ("fraternal") is
different from the common medical usage ("non-identical").

David desJardins

"David desJardins" wrote in message
...
Andrea writes:
One of my girls has a medical problem and I was reading her notes the
other day at an appointment and noticed in her profile they had
labelled her a non-identical twin. That really irked me. Why could
they not just call her a fraternal twin, do they equally call
identical twins non-fraternal twins?

I think identical/non-identical is common medical terminology.
Admittedly, monozygotic/dizygotic is more "scientific" (and avoids the
implication that "identical" twins are exactly the same), but those
don't really roll off most people's tongues. I think the medical
community avoids the term "fraternal" because its primary meaning is
"brotherly" or "friendly" ("fraternal" comes from the Latin term for
"brother"), so it's rather an odd usage (i.e., twins that aren't
"fraternal" can still be brothers, or friendly).

I agree--fraternal, in these PC days, is not gender-inclusive.
Interestingly, I ran into this a while ago: someone in the shopping mall
was admiring the kidlets. We had already covered the "are they twins?" and
the fact that they are two boys when we got to the next standard question,
"are they identical?" I said, "no, they're fraternal." The woman says "Of
course, you said they were boys didn't you." She walked away, leaving me
thinking "what did she think I would have said if they were girls?"

Marie


It's hardly the only case whether the colloquial term ("fraternal") is
different from the common medical usage ("non-identical").

David desJardins