What to do about september birthday (if anything)

Barbara said:

Just because your
child is advanced in some areas does not mean he is truly well-rounded and
ready for school. These days, kindergarten tends to be *very* academic
(and
that's particularly true in places where the cut-off date is as early as
yours) and include a *lot* of fine motor stuff (cutting, writing,
coloring,
etc.) that many kids with very advanced verbal skills like your son's
still
find difficult. (Don't ask me what kindy was like for my linguistically
talented oldest child! He survived, but he *still* struggles with the
mechanical stuff despite being well ahead of the game in terms of verbal
skills.)

I agree, and time will only tell how those things develop. We try very hard
to go at HIS pace, and not put expectations on him.

Being one of the oldest kids isn't
necessarily a disadvantage, though; being one of the very youngest can be,
particularly now that kindergarten is becoming more like first grade and
first grade more like second and so on, at least in terms of the academic
expectations.

That might be an issue for us in the oppoisite direction.
Currently, he is 90 percentile accross the board. Imagine being a 6 year old
in a class of 5 year olds when your
as big a 7 year old......
Fortunalty, even though he is taller and stronger than all the otehr kids in
his daycare class, he is a very gentle
and polite little boy. He plays as well with the younger smaller kids as he
does with the older bigger kids.
Although he is physically bigger, he lacks the older kids bravado!

Thanks for your thoughtful response, I'm sure it will all work out in the
end....
It might be wisest for us to put him where he should be until he is older
and gets all the basics down.

jojo

On 10 Mar 2005 09:32:07 -0800, Banty wrote:

People who red-shirt their kids think about the little 1st grader a little
larger and more mature than their classmates, so they think they've done a Good
Thing by holding their little boys back.
What they *don't* think about is the bearded bored-out-of-his-mind and restless
EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD that's supposed to bide his time as a senior in high school
until he graduates. Starting school late is forever. The little first grader
becomes the bored fourth grader becomes the eighth grader going through puberty
a year before a lot of his friends, becomes....

As someone who did redshirt my son, I didn't find this to be the case
at all. Of course, our school system was fantastic at keeping up with
him academically though and that may not be true in all cases.

For my son, the early grades were hell despite the redshirting because
his social skills were not great and because he was very small for his
age. He was a sensitive child. He loved sports and was good at them,
but because he was small, others didn't often pick him unless they
knew him and had seen him play.

Academically, he was very advanced, but his writing skills were poor
and his talents were primarily in math, so for him, the fact that they
allowed him to forge ahead in math and science while keeping him
with kids who were closer to his size helped. He didn't hit his
growth spurt until he was 15 and he is still only a low average man
in height (5' 8", I think).

I think that you have to judge the case individually, but I have not
seen a lot of boys hurt by being a little older than their classmates.

Since when did it become a race to get out of school anyway?
Kids are 17 to 18 when they graduate depending on their birthdays.
I do think that kids need to gradually take on responsibility for
things besides school, but that's another issue from simply marking
time waiting to graduate at 18.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

Anyway, is there a way to judge a child's readiness for school?
Do schools go strictly by age, or are other factors at play?



Depends, depends. But if this goes back to preschool as you say, you have
some
opportunity to see how it works out early on.

Banty


Thank!

I think we still have plenty of time of course, and your comments are very
sage.
I think with pre-school we have an option or two, we are pretty convinced he
will be
attending a private pre-school, and therefore have better options about the
age.
It may be best to start things out on schedule and then just see how her
does....
thanks,
jojo

On Thu, 10 Mar 2005 14:40:47 -0500, "Jeff"
wrote:

A lot of schools allow kids to attend early. Wait a couple of years. You
should have a better idea if your son should go to kindergarten then or wait
another year.

Jeff

That isn't so true nowadays as it used to be.

With the curriculum being pushed down, many schools are being very
strict on the cutoff dates. I know Evanston had testing when my kids
were young in the 70s, but they no longer allow any early admissions.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

"Jeff" wrote in message
...
A lot of schools allow kids to attend early. Wait a couple of years. You
should have a better idea if your son should go to kindergarten then or
wait
another year.

Jeff


agreed....
Thanks,
jojo

On Thu, 10 Mar 2005 16:41:41 GMT, jojo wrote:
In order to start school here, my son has to be 5 by September 1st.
His birthday is September 9th. Which will basically put him behind others
his age one year.
(let me clarify by saying he is only 2 now, but this applies to preschool as
well)

Many have told me that this is an advantage with boys, as they are slower
starters and
could benefit from the extra year in preschool. But in reading some of the
other posts here and
looking at other children his same age, I am wondering if it would be a
determent instead.

He just turned 30 months.
He knows his address and phone number, and can recite them clearly if asked.
He can say his abc's and can count to 15.
He and I have involved conversations on the way home from daycare each day.
He remembers what he had for snack, lunch and afternoon snack that day.
he remembers who he played with today (first and last names) and can tell me
the titles
if what books he read that day.
Does he sound like your typical 2 year old?


He sounds like a perfectly normal 30 month old. Besides, the child
you have at 30 months is not necessarily the child you'll have
at 5 years. ;-)



Anyway, is there a way to judge a child's readiness for school?
Do schools go strictly by age, or are other factors at play?

It depends on the district. Some are sticklers, some aren't.
Only you can get that question answered.

But does it really matter? Many, if not most, states don't
actually require kindergarten. We know a few people who have
kids who have birthdays after the cutoff, and they just skipped
kindergarten and put them directly into first grade the following
year, thus not really "red-shirting" the kid. Our son is in the
same position - we're just planning on keeping him in his nursery
school, and doing the same. Based on my anecdotal observations,
it doesn't seem to make much difference.

- Rich

I used to be big on starting kids early. My daughter with an October
birthday started Kinder at age 4.

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , jojo says...

People who red-shirt their kids think about the little 1st grader a little
larger and more mature than their classmates, so they think they've done a
Good
Thing by holding their little boys back.
What they *don't* think about is the bearded bored-out-of-his-mind and
restless
EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD that's supposed to bide his time as a senior in high
school
until he graduates. Starting school late is forever. The little first
grader
becomes the bored fourth grader becomes the eighth grader going through
puberty
a year before a lot of his friends, becomes....

People who put them in early, like myself, see kids who are academically
ready for school, and will do spendidly in academics, but will lack the
confidence the older, larger kids have through elementary school. In junior
high they become ignored, as the kids hitting puberty start focusing on the
opposite sex, and drop old friend who aren't ready for the boy/girl parties,
or the group dates. Size may make athletics less fun, and sometimes
impossible to do well in. There are some athletic endevours that require the
body to catch up. For instance my daughter dances on pointe. You can't go
on pointe until you are a certain age, and your muscles and bones are fully
developed. Her school picks age 12. (A few allow younger ages...) So she
started beginning pointe with girls a year behind her in school. They are
progressing about the same, but she has one less year to attain the level of
proficiency for the big parts, as she will be leaving for college.
Football is similiar, as despite size, you cannot play varsity until you are
15. For some that gives them 3 years of eligibility, for those starting
later they would only get two.

High school has more challenges. Most of her friends started driving as a
Sophmore. She is not even eligible for a permit until after spring break
her sophmore year. She won't be driving herself until October of her junior
year. She was the smallest in her class from mid-kindergarten until her
growth spurt in 10th grade. Now she is average in height.

Then there is college. We will be sending her away to college as a minor.
She will not have off-campus living options, as she will not legally be old
enough to sign a lease. Her hitting legal drinking age will again be a year
behind her classmates. I think it will be quite the challenge for her not
to go bar hopping when she's underage.

Either way, those late summer/fall birthdays are going to be a challenge.
In high school it looks to be an advantage to be older. I don't see the
bored 18 year olds, but then most the high school kids I see are extremely
busy. There are parents who love having their offspring spend their first
year as an adult at home, before heading out into the world. They say it
makes the transition easier for them, and see them so much as grown makes it
easier to believe they are grown-ups and responsible, having not grown that
final year out of their sight.

It's a tough call.

"jojo" wrote in message
m...
Being one of the oldest kids isn't
necessarily a disadvantage, though; being one of the very youngest can
be,
particularly now that kindergarten is becoming more like first grade and
first grade more like second and so on, at least in terms of the
academic
expectations.

That might be an issue for us in the oppoisite direction.
Currently, he is 90 percentile accross the board. Imagine being a 6 year
old
in a class of 5 year olds when your as big a 7 year old.....

I don't have to imagine it; I live it. My second grader is a 97th+
percentile kid. He's one of the younger kids in his class, but he's also one
of the biggest. People generally think he's closer to 10 than 8. But you
know what? It's totally not a big deal. Same for his cousin, who is probably
a 3rd percentile kid and is way smaller than his classmates. Both of these
boys have lots of friends and no problems related to being either big or
small.

This whole idea that a child's *size* is something to be worried about when
it comes to socialization in a peer group has recently been pretty well
debunked by a study that showed peer acceptance was unrelated to size in
high school students. Turns out the big kids and the small kids were just as
likely to be accepted by their peers as the more average ones.

So, I'd kick this one out as something to be particularly concerned about,
especially since you say he is a gentle, kind child (as is my big guy).
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Mr. Congeniality (7), the Diva (5) and the Race Car Fanatic (3)

I have PMS and ESP...I'm the bitch who knows everything! (T-shirt slogan)

I don't have to imagine it; I live it. My second grader is a 97th+
percentile kid. He's one of the younger kids in his class, but he's also
one
of the biggest. People generally think he's closer to 10 than 8. But you
know what? It's totally not a big deal. Same for his cousin, who is
probably
a 3rd percentile kid and is way smaller than his classmates. Both of these
boys have lots of friends and no problems related to being either big or
small.

This whole idea that a child's *size* is something to be worried about
when
it comes to socialization in a peer group has recently been pretty well
debunked by a study that showed peer acceptance was unrelated to size in
high school students. Turns out the big kids and the small kids were just
as
likely to be accepted by their peers as the more average ones.

So, I'd kick this one out as something to be particularly concerned about,
especially since you say he is a gentle, kind child (as is my big guy).
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Mr. Congeniality (7), the Diva (5) and the Race Car Fanatic (3)

I have PMS and ESP...I'm the bitch who knows everything! (T-shirt slogan)



Tahnks for letting me know that! that is awesome. First time mom here, and
not knowing what to expect, I
can always find something to worry about!!!
Thanks,
jojo

On Thu, 10 Mar 2005 13:02:06 -0800, "Circe" wrote:

This whole idea that a child's *size* is something to be worried about when
it comes to socialization in a peer group has recently been pretty well
debunked by a study that showed peer acceptance was unrelated to size in
high school students. Turns out the big kids and the small kids were just as
likely to be accepted by their peers as the more average ones.

Might be true statistically, but it sure was not my son's experience.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits