Perming childrens hair - healthy and legal?

I have been an Au Pair in California since May. I live in a family with
three kids in the age of 4-8, all girls. This morning I had to go to
the hairdresser with them. Their Mom made the appointment, I had just
to bring them by and wait. I couldn't believe what happened there. The
girls got their hair permed, even the 4 yo. The hairdresser told me,
that they got their first perm with 3 an have a perm 4 times a yr.
Isn't perming childrens hair unhealthy? Is it custom (and legal) in
U.S. to perm kids hair? I never heard about this in Europe.
It was scary to see the little one with all these rodds on the head the
more so she obviously don't like it. She cryed hardly. I didn't know
what to do, should I stay and berate her or hold hands, or should I say
girl, you're right, that's crazy, and run away.
We stayed and she got her hair permed. But I've a guilty conscience (is
it the right word?)now.
Poor girls.
What should I do and could I say the next time?

Thanks

wrote:
I have been an Au Pair in California since May. I live in a family with
three kids in the age of 4-8, all girls. This morning I had to go to
the hairdresser with them. Their Mom made the appointment, I had just
to bring them by and wait. I couldn't believe what happened there. The
girls got their hair permed, even the 4 yo. The hairdresser told me,
that they got their first perm with 3 an have a perm 4 times a yr.
Isn't perming childrens hair unhealthy? Is it custom (and legal) in
U.S. to perm kids hair? I never heard about this in Europe.
It was scary to see the little one with all these rodds on the head the
more so she obviously don't like it. She cryed hardly. I didn't know
what to do, should I stay and berate her or hold hands, or should I say
girl, you're right, that's crazy, and run away.
We stayed and she got her hair permed. But I've a guilty conscience (is
it the right word?)now.
Poor girls.
What should I do and could I say the next time?

As far as I know, there are no laws against perming children's hair in
the US. When I was a child (and I think there are still home-perming
kits on the market today), there were products specifically designed
for perming children's hair. I know it was popular to perm girls' hair
as far back as the 1930's, so it's been done for decades. I doubt it's
as popular now as it was then, though

If the solution is gentle, then there should be no harm to the hair.
The youngest may not have been happy about having the perm rods put in
her hair (but you also say she hardly cried, so she couldn't have been
all *that* miserable), so all you could really do is just hold her
hand, comfort her and perhaps offer a toy or story to keep her
occcupied.

There's nothing you can do about the mother deciding to have her
daughters' hair permed, so the best thing you can do is perhaps have
things to occupy them if their hair is permed again....and say nothing.
They're not your children, it's not your decision.

Leah

wrote in message
ups.com...
The youngest may not have been happy about having the perm rods put
in
her hair (but you also say she hardly cried, so she couldn't have
been
all *that* miserable), so all you could really do is just hold her
hand, comfort her and perhaps offer a toy or story to keep her
occcupied.

She said the child "cried hardly". I thought she meant "cried hard"
not "hardly cried." In that case, she could at least bring up the
problem to the mom -- "Anna was very unhappy and crying when she was
getting it done, and I wasn't sure what to do."

Bizby

wrote in message
ups.com...

I have been an Au Pair in California since May. I live in a family with
three kids in the age of 4-8, all girls. This morning I had to go to
the hairdresser with them. Their Mom made the appointment, I had just
to bring them by and wait. I couldn't believe what happened there. The
girls got their hair permed, even the 4 yo. The hairdresser told me,
that they got their first perm with 3 an have a perm 4 times a yr.
Isn't perming childrens hair unhealthy? Is it custom (and legal) in
U.S. to perm kids hair? I never heard about this in Europe.
It was scary to see the little one with all these rodds on the head the
more so she obviously don't like it. She cryed hardly. I didn't know
what to do, should I stay and berate her or hold hands, or should I say
girl, you're right, that's crazy, and run away.
We stayed and she got her hair permed. But I've a guilty conscience (is
it the right word?)now.
Poor girls.
What should I do and could I say the next time?

Say, "You look so pretty!'

And do? Nothing. Worst case: It will grow back.

Jeff

Thanks

Perming anyones hair isnt healthy.. it is damaging to the hair.. but not
illegal.. She probably doesnt like anything done to her hair yet so that is
why she cried. The chemicals do sting a bit as well if her head has been
itchy at all lately and that could bring out tears if the child didnt
understand 45 minutes is just a little while.. compaired to however long
with the curls.. the girls probably dont even know what their hair would
look like straight if they have had them done for so long.

Tori
wrote in message
ups.com...

I have been an Au Pair in California since May. I live in a family with
three kids in the age of 4-8, all girls. This morning I had to go to
the hairdresser with them. Their Mom made the appointment, I had just
to bring them by and wait. I couldn't believe what happened there. The
girls got their hair permed, even the 4 yo. The hairdresser told me,
that they got their first perm with 3 an have a perm 4 times a yr.
Isn't perming childrens hair unhealthy? Is it custom (and legal) in
U.S. to perm kids hair? I never heard about this in Europe.
It was scary to see the little one with all these rodds on the head the
more so she obviously don't like it. She cryed hardly. I didn't know
what to do, should I stay and berate her or hold hands, or should I say
girl, you're right, that's crazy, and run away.
We stayed and she got her hair permed. But I've a guilty conscience (is
it the right word?)now.
Poor girls.
What should I do and could I say the next time?

Thanks

wrote:
I have been an Au Pair in California since May. I live in a family with
three kids in the age of 4-8, all girls. This morning I had to go to
the hairdresser with them. Their Mom made the appointment, I had just
to bring them by and wait. I couldn't believe what happened there. The
girls got their hair permed, even the 4 yo. The hairdresser told me,
that they got their first perm with 3 an have a perm 4 times a yr.
Isn't perming childrens hair unhealthy? Is it custom (and legal) in
U.S. to perm kids hair? I never heard about this in Europe.
It was scary to see the little one with all these rodds on the head the
more so she obviously don't like it. She cryed hardly. I didn't know
what to do, should I stay and berate her or hold hands, or should I say
girl, you're right, that's crazy, and run away.
We stayed and she got her hair permed. But I've a guilty conscience (is
it the right word?)now.
Poor girls.
What should I do and could I say the next time?

I would tell the Mom that the daughter had a really hard time with it.

Personally I think it's sick and cruel to inflict one's idea of beauty
on a child. Kids should be taught that their natural beauty is
desirable and messing with the hair in this way can't do anything but
teach them otherwise.

-L.

wrote:


I have been an Au Pair in California since May. I live in a family with
three kids in the age of 4-8, all girls. This morning I had to go to
the hairdresser with them. Their Mom made the appointment, I had just
to bring them by and wait. I couldn't believe what happened there. The
girls got their hair permed, even the 4 yo. The hairdresser told me,
that they got their first perm with 3 an have a perm 4 times a yr.
Isn't perming childrens hair unhealthy? Is it custom (and legal) in
U.S. to perm kids hair? I never heard about this in Europe.

It is legal and I guess it is the custom with some people. I don't
know why. My mom had my hair permed back in the 40s (it was a Toni
home permanent), and I tried a couple of more times, but it just
didn't work out and I hated it. Frizzy hair wasn't 'IN' then.

I used to have people ask me (40 years ago) if I had given my oldest a
perm and bleached streaks in the younger ones hair. I hadn't of
course - the older one (and also the third one) just had quite
naturally curly hair

http://p.vtourist.com/2896827-Travel...e-DEBBBEDB.jpg

This is my three girls - on the left is DD#2 at about 4 years of age.
She has wavy hair with some bleached highlights from the sun (we were
living in Florida then) In the middle is dd#3 at 2.5 years (when this
was done she was running a fever and I can see that in the picture)
and on the right is dd#1 at about 3 years old. DD#1 and #3 both have
very curly hair - dd#1 more than dd#3. [These children are now 43
(dd2), 38 (dd3) and 45 (dd1)

It was scary to see the little one with all these rodds on the head the
more so she obviously don't like it. She cryed hardly. I didn't know
what to do, should I stay and berate her or hold hands, or should I say
girl, you're right, that's crazy, and run away.

The rods don't hurt. Ask the older girls how it usually goes with the
4 yo. Does she usually cry? If not, possibly she picked up on your
concern.

We stayed and she got her hair permed. But I've a guilty conscience (is
it the right word?)now.
Poor girls.
What should I do and could I say the next time?

Thanks

In article ,
"Tori M" wrote:

Perming anyones hair isnt healthy.. it is damaging to the hair.. but not
illegal.. She probably doesnt like anything done to her hair yet so that is
why she cried. The chemicals do sting a bit as well if her head has been
itchy at all lately and that could bring out tears if the child didnt
understand 45 minutes is just a little while.. compaired to however long
with the curls.. the girls probably dont even know what their hair would
look like straight if they have had them done for so long.


It may not be healthy for the HAIR, but the part that is damaged will
grow out -- it doesn't cause permanent damage.

The perms currently in use do not create any health hazards, and that's
important to know.

I haven't had a perm in years, but don't remember them ever stinging at
all.

However, many children at the age of 4 will cry when you do ANYTHING
with their hair -- they just don't like it.

While I would not perm little girls' hair (partly because I think it's
better to find ways for them to look good in their natural state, and
partly because I'm WAY too cheap), it isn't really cruel or evil, it
just isn't my idea of the way I'd want to spend time or money. But
then, I could never afford an au pair, either!

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Rosalie B. wrote:
wrote:

Isn't perming childrens hair unhealthy? Is it custom (and legal) in
U.S. to perm kids hair? I never heard about this in Europe.

It is legal and I guess it is the custom with some people. I don't
know why.

For some kids, depending on what their hair is
like normally, a perm can turn hair that needs a lot of
fussing to look decent into hair that needs little
fussing other than the occasional perms. I have no
idea what's up with this particular family, and maybe
it's all vanity or something odd, but I can think of
other scenarios. I wouldn't be thrilled with coughing
up the cash to have a child's hair permed regularly,
but wanting to do that needn't be inherently sinister.
Wash'n'go hair can be a lot easier on a kid than
hair that has to be dried/combed out/whatever else
the kid finds objectionable.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Tori M wrote:
Perming anyones hair isnt healthy.. it is damaging to the hair.. but not
illegal.. She probably doesnt like anything done to her hair yet so that is
why she cried. The chemicals do sting a bit as well if her head has been
itchy at all lately and that could bring out tears if the child didnt
understand 45 minutes is just a little while.. compaired to however long
with the curls.. the girls probably dont even know what their hair would
look like straight if they have had them done for so long.

The OP didn't say how long the girls had to sit -- where do you get 45
minutes out of this? The times I've had my hair permed (and my hair is
course and needs extra time), I've never had perm solution on my hair
longer than 20 minutes or so....then rinsed and 5 minutes for the
fixative. Granted, they probably had to sit about that amount of time
to get the perm rods rolled (depending on the length and thickness of
their hair and the size of the rods used), but the OP didn't mention a
specific time. I've never had perm solution sting my scalp, either.

And as it was pointed out by another poster (Ericka, IIRC), depending
on the girls' hair, it might be easier daily care to have their hair
permed in the long run, since it basically becomes 'wash and wear' hair
(which is the main reason I would get perms, so I could skip
blow-drying completely)...and this might be easier on the girls to
wash, condition and comb (put in a hairband, ponytail, what-have-you)
than making preschoolers sit to have to be blown-dried and styled
regularly....

Leah


Tori
wrote in message
ups.com...

I have been an Au Pair in California since May. I live in a family with
three kids in the age of 4-8, all girls. This morning I had to go to
the hairdresser with them. Their Mom made the appointment, I had just
to bring them by and wait. I couldn't believe what happened there. The
girls got their hair permed, even the 4 yo. The hairdresser told me,
that they got their first perm with 3 an have a perm 4 times a yr.
Isn't perming childrens hair unhealthy? Is it custom (and legal) in
U.S. to perm kids hair? I never heard about this in Europe.
It was scary to see the little one with all these rodds on the head the
more so she obviously don't like it. She cryed hardly. I didn't know
what to do, should I stay and berate her or hold hands, or should I say
girl, you're right, that's crazy, and run away.
We stayed and she got her hair permed. But I've a guilty conscience (is
it the right word?)now.
Poor girls.
What should I do and could I say the next time?

Thanks