Dad's Visitation Responsibility

Lady, I not only know the system, I'm suing to break it in Virginia
and I can point you to several attorneys here in Virginia that believe
and have said I know the "system" better than any attorney and in
judge here in Virginia. In fact, I probably know Maryland law better
than you do about child support as well.

And actually, lady, my ex-wife hid my daughter from me for EIGHT YEARS
in violation of a court order...I'm only pay that part of my child
support "obligation" which is the illegal interest modification DCSE
did to a whole class of NCPs back in 1995.


On Oct 10, 12:18 pm, "Lvnsurpriseaz via FamilyKB.com" u37991@uwe
wrote:
You call me stupid? You obviously don't know the system. A CP doesn't have
a specified amount of child support to pay because the child lives with them
100% of the time so therefore they pay for things that the NCP child support
does not cover! Plus, I was assessed with an income greater than my income
at that time to establish the fathers child support and that did not bother
me at all!!!! If I was such a money driven B---- that would have bothered me
because I could have gotten more CS if the judge would not have assessed me
with a higher income then what I was making! Get your head out of your ASS,
you must be one of those fathers that owe thousands of dollars in back child
support just because you want to be stubborn and refuse to pay because you
have so much hatred towards the childs mother. What a shame,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
that does a child no good!!!

DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in

I don't think I've spent $1600 TOTAL on clothes for my daughter, and she's
5.

Guess you haven't heard of quality either? LOL

Lets see,

4 pairs of jeans @ $150 each.
10 tops at $50 each.
2 pairs of shoes at $100 each
Accessories for $300.

I do hope I keep up with my child's lastest fashions, my deadbeat doesn't
pay enough money? Bo hooooo




I wasn't saying your spending was exorbitant. Just the opposite.

--

Sarah Gray

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. ..
DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in

I don't think I've spent $1600 TOTAL on clothes for my daughter, and
she's 5.

Guess you haven't heard of quality either? LOL

Lets see,

4 pairs of jeans @ $150 each.
10 tops at $50 each.
2 pairs of shoes at $100 each
Accessories for $300.

I do hope I keep up with my child's lastest fashions, my deadbeat doesn't
pay enough money? Bo hooooo




I wasn't saying your spending was exorbitant. Just the opposite.

You didn't see her other post where yea said she only shops for quality and
doesn't go near wal-mart!
Must be a Neman Marus girl! LOL

DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. ..
DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in

I don't think I've spent $1600 TOTAL on clothes for my daughter, and
she's 5.
Guess you haven't heard of quality either? LOL

Lets see,

4 pairs of jeans @ $150 each.
10 tops at $50 each.
2 pairs of shoes at $100 each
Accessories for $300.

I do hope I keep up with my child's lastest fashions, my deadbeat doesn't
pay enough money? Bo hooooo



I wasn't saying your spending was exorbitant. Just the opposite.

You didn't see her other post where yea said she only shops for quality and
doesn't go near wal-mart!
Must be a Neman Marus girl! LOL





Well, I don't shop at Wal-Mart either, but not because I prefer
department stores

--

Sarah Gray

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
t...
child support owed by deadbeats wrote:
On Oct 8, 2:41 pm, "DB" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

Think I spent a total of $200 last year on new clothes.
That was new clothes for myself! I still have T-shirts that are over 6
years
in use!

jackets, and coats are too small. I spent close to $1,100.00 last
winter, and close to $500.00 this summer.
Ever hear of Wal-Mart?

Ever hear of quality?


Neither you or your kid's father does not *owe* your child designer wear.
Child support is to cover the basic needs of a child. Get a ****ing grip!
I don't think I've spent $1600 TOTAL on clothes for my daughter, and she's
5. (granted, her grandparents like to buy/make her clothes. but still,
thats a big chunk of change.)

Reminds me of the good old days when my ex bought all of her clothes at
Nordstrom's and claimed in court half of her Nordstrom's expenditures were
for our children. My children never, ever wore any clothes from
Nordstrom's - NEVER! They told me exactly where their clothes were
purchased and it certainly wasn't Nordstrom's.

"DB" wrote in message
t...

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
. ..
DB wrote:
"Sarah Gray" wrote in

I don't think I've spent $1600 TOTAL on clothes for my daughter, and
she's 5.

Guess you haven't heard of quality either? LOL

Lets see,

4 pairs of jeans @ $150 each.
10 tops at $50 each.
2 pairs of shoes at $100 each
Accessories for $300.

I do hope I keep up with my child's lastest fashions, my deadbeat
doesn't
pay enough money? Bo hooooo




I wasn't saying your spending was exorbitant. Just the opposite.

You didn't see her other post where yea said she only shops for quality
and
doesn't go near wal-mart!
Must be a Neman Marus girl! LOL

Usually, those on welfare mismanage their budget; that's why they're on
welfare.

"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message
...

"Sarah Gray" wrote in message
t...
child support owed by deadbeats wrote:
On Oct 8, 2:41 pm, "DB" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

Think I spent a total of $200 last year on new clothes.
That was new clothes for myself! I still have T-shirts that are over 6
years
in use!

jackets, and coats are too small. I spent close to $1,100.00 last
winter, and close to $500.00 this summer.
Ever hear of Wal-Mart?

Ever hear of quality?


Neither you or your kid's father does not *owe* your child designer
wear.
Child support is to cover the basic needs of a child. Get a ****ing
grip!
I don't think I've spent $1600 TOTAL on clothes for my daughter, and
she's
5. (granted, her grandparents like to buy/make her clothes. but still,
thats a big chunk of change.)

Reminds me of the good old days when my ex bought all of her clothes at
Nordstrom's and claimed in court half of her Nordstrom's expenditures were
for our children. My children never, ever wore any clothes from
Nordstrom's - NEVER! They told me exactly where their clothes were
purchased and it certainly wasn't Nordstrom's.

Par for the course that a thief also lies. I'm not surprised.

wrote in message
ups.com...
On Oct 10, 12:09 pm, "Gini" wrote:
"Paula" wrote wrote:

Too bad all parents coul not handle theirchildsupportissues in
such a mature, loving way, instead of indulging themselves in the
acrimonious, adversarial family court system.

But you do acknowledge that the way in which Gini and her ex
were able to handle the rearing of their children was possible
only because they BOTH made the choices necessary to make
it work.

==
True, to some degree. But, it also takes a lot of compromise, which is
the
main thing lacking in many of the CPs who appear here.
They are obsessed with "getting what's due," having bought into the
attitude
that mothers are inherently better
qualified and outrank fathers on the parenting scale. There were many
things
I could have argued with and dragged my ex
into court for but that mindset was not a part of my/our parenting
psyche.
*Our kids were not property to be bickered over. Period.*
My ex was/is a great dad and I would never get into court disputes with
my
boys' father for any reason unless he were
somehow a danger to them. I could have dragged him into court when he
went to Ecuador for months and to Russia for months whining that our
boys
were "due" the money those trips cost but I would not
have made that an issue, as many CPs would. He sent the boys letters,
gifts
and emails from all over the world that they still have today.
That was of far greater value to the kids than him handing me fists of
money
to put out for consumables that would never be remembered by the boys
into
their
adulthood. Money should never, ever, ever be the apex of a parent's
relationship with their children's father (or mother). It is really that
simple.
Fathers have just as much parenting rights as mothers, and their
parenting
style (if the father was chosen carefully by the mother, which he
absolutely should have been) is crucial to a healthy relationship
within
the family dynamic--and therefore, a somewhat less traumatic childhood
for
the children of divided families. The other thing I had (have) was a
very
understanding second husband who never ever interjected himself into my
sons' relationship with their dad (or their relationship with me, for
that
matter). My husband always welcomed my ex into our home and my ex always
treated my later-born children as part of his sons' family as well,
always welcoming them into his home. Would it have been this way if I
believed money was more important than these relationships? I think
not...and that is why I've been speaking out for fathers for more than
two
decades and why I am and have been a part of this group (despite some
poster's assertions that I am an unfit parent from Florida :-)

I guess all of us that have made mistakes should have looked into the
future to make sure we didn't make those mistakes. Gini here was able
to see into the future, thus allowing her to have a child with a non-
deadbeat. Please, Gini, look into all of us single parent, and single
parent to be future's and tell us which of the people will be
deadbeats, and which are going to handle thiers.

Even nicer would be if she could look into the future and pick out all the
thieves. You agree?

"Gini" wrote in message
news:IBfPi.4130$ai2.3790@trndny05...

"teachrmama" wrote
................
I'll bet that Gini did not call her ex a deadbeat when he didn't provide
money to compensate for the extra time she had the children while he was
out roaming the globe. I'll bet that respect for the person you
produced
a child with, even when you don't agree with them was a big part of the
picture.
==
Bingo. Money is a wholly inadequate parent. Didn't someone say something
about it
even being the root of evil?

Almost. Actually, it is the LOVE of money that roots evil. And that is
precisely what the "child support" people do; they LOVE MONEY!

It sure is the evil that courts put in the
middle of divided
families. It is truly hideous. And, it is just as hideous when parents,
who
hope to gain
financially from this arrangement, lose all dignity as they go groveling,
scratching and clawing for a few
dollars that are "owed" (to their children, of course).

"Lvnsurpriseaz via FamilyKB.com" u37991@uwe wrote in message
news:797cae1db9eeb@uwe...
Exactly, they are NOT a necessity, that is why I pay a portion that I feel
is
a fair portion and he has to pay the rest. That is the only fair thing to
do
here. A high school boy WILL NOT wear payless shoes, nor would I want to
have an argument over trying to"make" him wear them.

Neither would I. I would simply state that is the way it is, period.
Children do NOT call the shots in the home.

So the best solution is
to pay a reasonable amount (out of his child support) towards clothes,
shoes,
etc... that HE NEEDS, and if he wants to blow his money on expensive stuff
he
has to pay the rest. Nothing wrong with that!!!!!!!!!!
DB wrote:
"Lvnsurpriseaz via FamilyKB.com" u37991@uwe wrote in

If he wants $80 pair of shoes, I pay half,

yea, my father would have laughed and given me directions to Payless
shoes!

$80 shoes are not a necessity!!!!

--
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