Dad's Visitation Responsibility

I am NOT allowing my son to call the shots. I am simply showing him that if
he wants "expensive" things that are not a necesity, then he can learn how to
budget his money and help pay for them. If I have a certain amount budgeted
for school clothes/shoes and he wants to purchase more expensive items, then
the child can learn responsibility and pay for it. All of you that disagree
either don't have older children or have never been through a counselor with
their older child to learn about how to TEACH them. It isn't all about power
and control when you are a parent, it is about TEACHING them to be
responsible adults. If you don't teach them the value of money and teach
them about spending and saving then you are doing harm to your child for
their future. Look at the nations debt problems??
Chris wrote:
Exactly, they are NOT a necessity, that is why I pay a portion that I feel is
a fair portion and he has to pay the rest. That is the only fair thing to do
here. A high school boy WILL NOT wear payless shoes, nor would I want to
have an argument over trying to"make" him wear them.

Neither would I. I would simply state that is the way it is, period.
Children do NOT call the shots in the home.

So the best solution is
to pay a reasonable amount (out of his child support) towards clothes, shoes,
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]

$80 shoes are not a necessity!!!!

--
Message posted via FamilyKB.com
http://www.familykb.com/Uwe/Forums.a...nting/200710/1

On Oct 11, 10:16 am, "DB" wrote:
"Paula" wrote in

Other than showing DB as the bitter, vindictive, and spiteful man that he
is.

Hey just because I lost my House, Car, Job, Savings and any future I had,
that doesn't mean I lost my common sense.

Pre School is not a necessity for success, Ask Bill Gates? I can't believe
you are that brainwashed!!!!!!!

The average University cost per year today is $34,000 per year. What's his
$20, 000 college fund going to pay for in 18 years?

Brainwashed, no. Parent of a pre-schooler, yes. And I do happen
to believe it's that important. She knows her ABCs (has for at
least a year), can count to 100, and is beginning on working on
her writing skills. She'll be far ahead of any classmates that
were not in pre-school ... and in my opinion that is important.

You obviously know nothing about 529s ... do some research
and then we'll talk.

On Oct 11, 10:15 am, Paula wrote:
On Oct 11, 10:06 am, "DB" wrote:

"Paula" wrote in

And, yes, there are NCPs out there who aren't permitted
by the CP to parent the children ... that's not right!!
That's not the case in all instances. You seem to
regularly forget (actually ignore would probably be the
more accurate word) that fact.

yes and your type choose to ignore the fact that the NCP's that actually
walk away from their child is a very small percentage. Most are driven away!

You need to read for comprehension too, Chris. Because I
acknowledged that some NCPs "aren't permitted by the CP
to parent the children" (and condemned it) in my response
shown above.

Sorry, that should be DB not Chris ... my apologies.

"Paula" wrote
"Gini" wrote:
.................................................. ........

==
Ummm....it was the CP who didn't want to pay her share.

Ummm, no. My response was to DB who stated that
preschool was a luxury ... which in this age of schooling
competitiveness it is most certainly not a luxury.
==
That's not the point. OK, I'll try to spoon-feed you--You claimed that not
paying for extras, not included in the NCPs
obligation, is screwing the kid. On the contrary. The amounts over the
ordered support are the responsibility
of the CP--not the NCP. If the CP wishes to not cover her share, she is
screwing the kid. You would like to
mandate "extras" to the NCP.
==
.....................
Kids
need the head start that preschool provides to be able to
keep up once they get into "real" school. He also advised
that the poster (not the OP) stop paying "extra" for the
diapers, milk, clothes and other necessities that a child
needs.
==
Let's try it this way--The "extras" are the responsibility of the CP--her
part of the support *share.*
See, he pays 'A' and she pays 'B'. What is not included in 'A' is
necessarily included in 'B.'
Well, according to the courts, that is. According to you, if she fails to
cover 'B,' he's screwing the kids.
==
...................................

Read for comprehension, please Gini.
==
Your failure to grasp nothing more than the most rudimentary of thoughts is
not indicative of a comprehension
lapse on my part. Spoon-feeding off
==
==

"Paula" wrote in message
ps.com...
On Oct 11, 1:51 am, "Chris" wrote:

A NCP is not a parent. CP is what defines parenting.

Not true. There are CPs out there who welcome the
parenting of NCPs ... some NCPs choose not to parent.

"NCP", by definition, is inherently NOT parenting. It is TRUE.



And, yes, there are NCPs out there who aren't permitted
by the CP to parent the children ... that's not right!!
That's not the case in all instances. You seem to
regularly forget (actually ignore would probably be the
more accurate word) that fact.

"Paula" wrote in message
ps.com...
On Oct 11, 10:06 am, "DB" wrote:
"Paula" wrote in

And, yes, there are NCPs out there who aren't permitted
by the CP to parent the children ... that's not right!!
That's not the case in all instances. You seem to
regularly forget (actually ignore would probably be the
more accurate word) that fact.

yes and your type choose to ignore the fact that the NCP's that actually
walk away from their child is a very small percentage. Most are driven
away!

You need to read for comprehension too, Chris.

I didn't know that was his name. Reading comprehension problem, perhaps?

Because I
acknowledged that some NCPs "aren't permitted by the CP
to parent the children" (and condemned it) in my response
shown above.

"Gini" wrote in

Read for comprehension, please Gini.
==
Your failure to grasp nothing more than the most rudimentary of thoughts
is not indicative of a comprehension
lapse on my part. Spoon-feeding off


Obviously her lack of preschool has affected her rudimentary reading skills!

Lets keep this in simple terms so she can understand!

If we agree to have a BBQ and I give $100 to pay for the food, when I arrive
I should not be expected to run out and buy the chips and beer too, plus all
the Deserts as well!

Like child support, lets argue who pays for the Charcoal too?

On Oct 11, 11:16 am, "Gini" wrote:
"Paula" wrote "Gini" wrote:

.................................................. .......

==
Ummm....it was the CP who didn't want to pay her share.

Ummm, no. My response was to DB who stated that
preschool was a luxury ... which in this age of schooling
competitiveness it is most certainly not a luxury.

==
That's not the point.

It was MY point which is relevant since I was the one
to whom you responded.

OK, I'll try to spoon-feed you--You claimed that not
paying for extras, not included in the NCPs
obligation, is screwing the kid

Lovely how you intentionally snipped the part that read:
"Please don't twist my reply into saying that NCPs should
be forced to do the things that this father is ... because
that's not what I said."

On the contrary. The amounts over the
ordered support are the responsibility
of the CP--not the NCP.

Your opinion

If the CP wishes to not cover her share, she is
screwing the kid.

According to you it's not a "share" that we're
discussing here; it's totality, right?

You would like to
mandate "extras" to the NCP.
==

See above, and neither what I said nor what I meant.

....................
Kids need the head start that preschool provides to be able to
keep up once they get into "real" school. He also advised
that the poster (not the OP) stop paying "extra" for the
diapers, milk, clothes and other necessities that a child
needs.

==
Let's try it this way--The "extras" are the responsibility of the CP--her
part of the support *share.*
See, he pays 'A' and she pays 'B'. What is not included in 'A' is
necessarily included in 'B.'
Well, according to the courts, that is. According to you, if she fails to
cover 'B,' he's screwing the kids.
==
..................................

Read for comprehension, please Gini.

==
Your failure to grasp nothing more than the most rudimentary of thoughts is
not indicative of a comprehension
lapse on my part. Spoon-feeding off
==
==

Condescension is neither necessary nor productive.

"Paula" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Oct 11, 10:16 am, "DB" wrote:
"Paula" wrote in

Other than showing DB as the bitter, vindictive, and spiteful man that
he
is.

Hey just because I lost my House, Car, Job, Savings and any future I
had,
that doesn't mean I lost my common sense.

Pre School is not a necessity for success, Ask Bill Gates? I can't
believe
you are that brainwashed!!!!!!!

The average University cost per year today is $34,000 per year. What's
his
$20, 000 college fund going to pay for in 18 years?

Brainwashed, no. Parent of a pre-schooler, yes. And I do happen
to believe it's that important. She knows her ABCs (has for at
least a year), can count to 100, and is beginning on working on
her writing skills. She'll be far ahead of any classmates that
were not in pre-school ... and in my opinion that is important.

Great! Perhaps the folks on alt.opinion would appreciate your sharing.


You obviously know nothing about 529s ... do some research
and then we'll talk.

"Gini" wrote in message
news:S%rPi.3357$yJ2.314@trndny01...

"Paula" wrote
"Gini" wrote:
.................................................. .......

==
Ummm....it was the CP who didn't want to pay her share.

Ummm, no. My response was to DB who stated that
preschool was a luxury ... which in this age of schooling
competitiveness it is most certainly not a luxury.
==
That's not the point. OK, I'll try to spoon-feed you--You claimed that not
paying for extras, not included in the NCPs
obligation, is screwing the kid. On the contrary. The amounts over the
ordered support are the responsibility
of the CP--not the NCP. If the CP wishes to not cover her share, she is
screwing the kid. You would like to
mandate "extras" to the NCP.
==
....................
Kids
need the head start that preschool provides to be able to
keep up once they get into "real" school. He also advised
that the poster (not the OP) stop paying "extra" for the
diapers, milk, clothes and other necessities that a child
needs.
==
Let's try it this way--The "extras" are the responsibility of the CP--her
part of the support *share.*
See, he pays 'A' and she pays 'B'. What is not included in 'A' is
necessarily included in 'B.'
Well, according to the courts, that is. According to you, if she fails to
cover 'B,' he's screwing the kids.
==
..................................

Read for comprehension, please Gini.
==
Your failure to grasp nothing more than the most rudimentary of thoughts
is
not indicative of a comprehension
lapse on my part. Spoon-feeding off

Until one utilizes the three basic laws of thought, anything spewed out
their mouth is meaningless.

==
==