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#31
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No Wrap Shower
On Jun 22, 10:44 pm, cjra wrote:
On Jun 19, 7:48 am, HELP!! wrote: Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20 aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which expect to be invited. I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents, multiple layers of other cousins as well). But no, there is no way to ask for anything in particular about the gifts. Just open them thoughtfully, but quickly. You won't have 100 gifts, and likely family groups will offer one joint gift, which should make it shorter. Also, half the party will be uninterested and doing something else anyway, at least that has been my experience at large showers (which in my family, are always co-ed). Just relax and have fun, and be excited that your little one has so many people excited to meet him/her. thanks cjra. some people just don't understand large families. its rare when the whole family gets together, i was trying to avoid wasting precious "catch up" time on a 2 hour gift opening session. but you're right. i think we'll just open the gifts in a quick, organized, and thoughtful way. |
#32
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No Wrap Shower
I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents, multiple layers of other cousins as well). wow, that is pretty impressive, if I'm understanding who exactly you mean by first cousins on your fathers side - i.e. your father's siblings' children, then that's of the order of your father having 8 siblings and each of them having 8 children, I don't find someone having 8 siblings at all surprising, just the fact that then all of them also had such big families, or if any of them had smaller families, the others having even bigger ones to make up, which does seem a lot more unusual. My dad's mum was the youngest of 7, so only 6 siblings, but I think he has only around 15 first cousins, 2 of the siblings didn't get married, the others had more middle sized families. I'm at the opposite extreme, it's not the smallest family in the world, but before I married, my entire family including me, extending as far as first cousins was 12 people. My parents and the two of us, my mum's sister, husband and 2 children, my dad's sister and 3 our of 4 grandparents still living. In some ways I'm envious of larger families, if it's bigger there seems to be more chance of being close, or living near family members, but I've noticed it doesn't always work out like that - as my family is small, it's not an onerous task to keep in touch with everyone and to send cards and gifts, net result is that we are close, whereas in a big family you couldn't do that so easily and end up not close to anyone - DH's family is more medium sized compared to mine, yet at his birthday, he get's more cards from my family than his. It can be a cause of tension, because he's not close to his family, I've spent barely any time with them, so I've never had the chance to get comfortable with them, so he then feels I don't want to see them, rather than seeing that I'm just uncomfortable and find it more stressful than he does to see my family members. Cheers Anne |
#33
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No Wrap Shower
On Jun 26, 5:45 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents, multiple layers of other cousins as well). wow, that is pretty impressive, if I'm understanding who exactly you mean by first cousins on your fathers side - i.e. your father's siblings' children, then that's of the order of your father having 8 siblings and each of them having 8 children, I don't find someone having 8 siblings at all surprising, just the fact that then all of them also had such big families, or if any of them had smaller families, the others having even bigger ones to make up, which does seem a lot more unusual. My dad's mum was the youngest of 7, so only 6 siblings, but I think he has only around 15 first cousins, 2 of the siblings didn't get married, the others had more middle sized families. My dad is one of 11 siblings who survived to adulthood and had children (14 in all, 3 died before 1 yo). One brother had 2 kids, the rest had between 6-10 children each. I am one of 8. My grandfather was also one of 10+ (can't remember exactly). Catholic farmers.... I have lost count of the next generation. My parents already have 25 grandkids. My mother is only one of 3, and I have 5 first cousins total on her side. However both her parents were from large families and most are very close as well as friends who have been part of the family so long they're relatives, so though there are fewer close blood relatives, there's a very large extended family and non-cousins who might as well be. My siblings and I are scattered, but my dad is the only one of his siblings ot move away, and most of my cousins stayed close to home, so there are about 50 cousins who live within 60 miles or so, almost all of whom have kids and spouses (age range is 35-60). I'm at the opposite extreme, it's not the smallest family in the world, but before I married, my entire family including me, extending as far as first cousins was 12 people. My parents and the two of us, my mum's sister, husband and 2 children, my dad's sister and 3 our of 4 grandparents still living. In some ways I'm envious of larger families, if it's bigger there seems to be more chance of being close, or living near family members, but I've noticed it doesn't always work out like that - as my family is small, it's not an onerous task to keep in touch with everyone and to send cards and gifts, net result is that we are close, whereas in a big family you couldn't do that so easily and end up not close to anyone - Though I have 6 living siblings (one died aged 30, w/o kids), the closest family is 1500+ miles away (CA, I'm in TX, others are in OH, GA, and Guam). As for my cousins, because we didn't grow up near them, and I'm on the younger end, I'm close to some, not others. Makes it hard for parties though. My sisters got married in OH - where my dad's family is - and had a helluva time keeping the guest list to manageable size. I got married in TX, where we have no family, but offered an invite to all relatives if they wanted to come, well, many did, some I wasn't close to but it was a really nice thing and made me closer to them now. My siblings drive me crazy, and am I'm not close to all of them, but I honestly can say I wouldn't trade them for the world. I am glad they're there. It has been especially significant in times of crises, like when my brother died and the few times we've come close to losing my dad. Sheer numbers are no guarantee though. |
#34
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No Wrap Shower
My dad is one of 11 siblings who survived to adulthood and had children (14 in all, 3 died before 1 yo). One brother had 2 kids, the rest had between 6-10 children each. I am one of 8. My grandfather was also one of 10+ (can't remember exactly). Catholic farmers.... I have lost count of the next generation. My parents already have 25 grandkids. ah, the catholic explains it, none of my family as far as I know have been catholic, most recorded their religion as Baptist or Methodist on the documents I've seen, I suspect shorter families became the trend sooner amongst non catholics. 3 out of my 4 grandparents (born 20s and 30s) are from longer families, though not as impressive as yours, and I believe the one that was one of 2, the parents were trying to have more with various outcomes, they then had there own children in the 50s and the family lengths suddenly dropped to 2 and other branches had similarly "short" families. As my aunt's husband sadly died after 14mths of marriage, my paternal grandparents have 2 grandchildren and maternal grandparents have 4. My 2 children are the only ones in their generation in all directions, so they have 5 great grandparents and all 4 grandparents that they are very precious to. My siblings and I are scattered, but my dad is the only one of his siblings ot move away, and most of my cousins stayed close to home, so there are about 50 cousins who live within 60 miles or so, almost all of whom have kids and spouses (age range is 35-60). We're all over the place these days, which is rather strange as we were actually bizarrely homogenous before - with no birth that we can find of any ancestor either direction being outside of England, not even Wales or Scotland, I've mucked that up for my kids as DH is Scottish, but of course, we now live in the US, my grandparents live in Cyprus, my sister is moving to the Channel Islands shortly, my parents are in the process of buying a property in Austria, so my relatives are moving further away not closer! Even when we lived in England we all lived different places, I joined facebook recently and have found several of my school friends, I'm surprised quite how many still live in the same town we went to school in - being close to family must seem quite normal and natural if people gravitate homewards like that (many went away for university or a bit longer). Cheers Anne |
#35
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No Wrap Shower
On Jun 27, 6:31 am, Anne Rogers wrote:
My dad is one of 11 siblings who survived to adulthood and had children (14 in all, 3 died before 1 yo). One brother had 2 kids, the rest had between 6-10 children each. I am one of 8. My grandfather was also one of 10+ (can't remember exactly). Catholic farmers.... I have lost count of the next generation. My parents already have 25 grandkids. ah, the catholic explains it, none of my family as far as I know have been catholic, most recorded their religion as Baptist or Methodist on the documents I've seen, I suspect shorter families became the trend sooner amongst non catholics. 3 out of my 4 grandparents (born 20s and 30s) are from longer families, though not as impressive as yours, and I believe the one that was one of 2, the parents were trying to have more with various outcomes, they then had there own children in the 50s and the family lengths suddenly dropped to 2 and other branches had similarly "short" families. As my aunt's husband sadly died after 14mths of marriage, my paternal grandparents have 2 grandchildren and maternal grandparents have 4. My 2 children are the only ones in their generation in all directions, so they have 5 great grandparents and all 4 grandparents that they are very precious to. My siblings and I are scattered, but my dad is the only one of his siblings ot move away, and most of my cousins stayed close to home, so there are about 50 cousins who live within 60 miles or so, almost all of whom have kids and spouses (age range is 35-60). We're all over the place these days, which is rather strange as we were actually bizarrely homogenous before - with no birth that we can find of any ancestor either direction being outside of England, not even Wales or Scotland, I've mucked that up for my kids as DH is Scottish, but of course, we now live in the US, my grandparents live in Cyprus, my sister is moving to the Channel Islands shortly, my parents are in the process of buying a property in Austria, so my relatives are moving further away not closer! Even when we lived in England we all lived different places, I joined facebook recently and have found several of my school friends, I'm surprised quite how many still live in the same town we went to school in - being close to family must seem quite normal and natural if people gravitate homewards like that (many went away for university or a bit longer). Cheers Anne I don't really understand the Catholic thing. I was born Catholic, but I only have one sister. Although this could stem from the fact that my Dad wasn't Catholic (Baptist, maybe?). But my mom's brother's wife had four children (I thought that was a lot growing up), while her sister had three. My Dad's sister, on the other hand, only had one, so I guess we were the bigger family in comparison. |
#36
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No Wrap Shower
On Jun 19, 8:04 am, HELP!! wrote:
We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped? We we thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so to officially recognize the gifts. We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun for the guests or us!! With 100 people at the shower, I dont think anyone would expect you to open your gifts. For that matter Im sure people are just coming to say hello and eat. Like a wedding... |
#37
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No Wrap Shower
ncrist wrote:
I don't really understand the Catholic thing. I was born Catholic, but I only have one sister. Catholics weren't (aren't?) allowed to use contraception. Fill the earth and conquer it is the instruction I believe. In Ireland (where I'm from) it was illegal until about 15 years ago resulting in large families and/or lapsed Catholics. I'm one of 9 children, my partner is the youngest of 12, his family have stuck to 3 or 4 children each, my family are 1s and 2s with a 3 and a 4 thrown in. My 2 yr old son has 31 1st cousins with 3 more due this year. It would be great if except for 2 they're all across the pond from us. None of our siblings are Catholic enough not to plan our families and use contraception. Very few christened their children. |
#38
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No Wrap Shower
On Jun 27, 8:48 pm, Boliath wrote:
ncrist wrote: I don't really understand the Catholic thing. I was born Catholic, but I only have one sister. Catholics weren't (aren't?) allowed to use contraception. Fill the earth and conquer it is the instruction I believe. In Ireland (where I'm from) it was illegal until about 15 years ago resulting in large families and/or lapsed Catholics. I'm one of 9 children, my partner is the youngest of 12, his family have stuck to 3 or 4 children each, my family are 1s and 2s with a 3 and a 4 thrown in. My 2 yr old son has 31 1st cousins with 3 more due this year. It would be great if except for 2 they're all across the pond from us. None of our siblings are Catholic enough not to plan our families and use contraception. Very few christened their children. Yeah, I guess you'd have to be more fundamental to believe it's worth screwing your body up over. (I've heard too much about the first wives dying) I happened to be in Ohio and my Mom and I attended the wedding of one of my cousins. We both had problems with the "do you promise to obey your husband" part. We had to muffle our laughter. I don't remember if anyone looked at us, though. But they only have two children, so maybe they aren''t so staunch. |
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