Please help. 6 year old still poops his pants

Tai wrote:
Other times he'll come in the room with
poop on his hand crying. See, he checks himself and appears to be
surprised when he finds something there. Every time he does find
something he bursts into tears because he knows we're going to take
away
TV privilages or something.


Poor little lad! Please try not to punish him with your
disappointment, he's
not being lazy or careless. It's defintely time for a second medical
opinion
from another paediatrician. imo.

Tai

When I was 15, back in the mid 1960s I babysat for a 7 year old boy
who occasionally pooped his pants. His mother figured it was laziness
and tried different types of punishment.
One Saturday, his mother had to leave early in the afternoon and I
was to baby-sit Danny and his younger sister until late that night.
When I talked to his mother the day before about it, everything was ok
so I got a major shock when I arrived to baby-sit.
I could hear Danny crying loudly as I approached their house and
quickly saw why as I entered the house.
Danny was sitting in a baby playpen and was wearing a T-shirt and a
diaper. He also had a baby bib tied around his neck along with a
pacifier. I think I just froze with my mouth open. It was a shocking
sight.
Danny's mom took me to a different room and explained that he
pooped his pants again, and she's been threatening him with treating
him like a baby. She apologized for not calling me to tell me and said
she meant to. She said she will pay me double for the evening, but I
had to promise to talk to him, play with him, feed him, bathe him and
change him as though he were an infant. She said if I didn't think I
can handle it, she'd take his diapers off and put him to bed. I'd
then get my regular pay.
Being only 15, and not knowing any better, I thought it was funny
and thought it would be fun to baby him. She had a whole list of rules
written down for him. Things like he can't walk but must crawl, can
"babble" but not talk, no going potty, that's what diapers are
for, etc.
After she left, I called my best friend, Brenda, to come help me.
She brought her 8-year-old sister.
We had an interesting afternoon of "peeky-boo" and "patty
cake" and lots of "gootsy gootsy goos", along with spoon feeding
in the high chair, (his 5 year old sister mostly fed him) and a couple
of diaper changes, it was finally time for his bath, and be put into
the crib his mother set up for him.
He cried a lot, and almost threw up. I know it had to be extremely
humiliating for a 7 year old boy to be bathed and diaper changed by a
15 year old girl in front of another 15 year old girl he didn't even
know, also his 5 year old sister, and an 8 year old girl he didn't
know. Brenda & I both enjoyed ourselves.
I now totally regret it. Doctors found a medical reason for his
soiling after 3-4 more times of being "babied" by his mother. That
boy suffered unspeakable humiliation and abuse. I'm now ashamed to
have taken part in it. I really feel bad to think that I actually
thought it was fun, and funny. Later, his mom actually made him stay
outside in diapers, and the teasing he got lasted for years. All for
something he had absolutely no control over. It's like severely
punishing a child for sneezing, or having the hiccups.
Pants pooping, pants wetting, bed wetting, all are irritating for
parents, but I feel no child would want to deliberately do it, and
should NEVER be punished for it.
When the doctor found a real problem, his mother felt really awful
for what she did to him. Please don't punish.
DeeDee