7 yo can't sleep alone

I know this has been discussed many times but I think my problem is a
little bit different than what has been said before.

My girlfriend is a single mum of a 7yo boy. She raised him on her own
since the day he wsa born. For different reasons, her son always slept
in her bed with her. We are now living together and trying to make
things more "normal". He has his own bedroom but he refuses to sleep
there on his own. He says that he's scared but at the same time I know
that he has a hard time to understand that I now get to sleep with his
mum and not him. There is a little bit of jealousy. I undertand why he
feels that way but I don't know how to help him understand.
We tried to talk to him about it but he still refuses to sleep on his
own. One of us as to be in bed with him when he falls asleep.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Thank you

B.

In article ,
says...
I know this has been discussed many times but I think my problem is a
little bit different than what has been said before.

My girlfriend is a single mum of a 7yo boy. She raised him on her own
since the day he wsa born. For different reasons, her son always slept
in her bed with her. We are now living together and trying to make
things more "normal". He has his own bedroom but he refuses to sleep
there on his own. He says that he's scared but at the same time I know
that he has a hard time to understand that I now get to sleep with his
mum and not him. There is a little bit of jealousy. I undertand why he
feels that way but I don't know how to help him understand.
We tried to talk to him about it but he still refuses to sleep on his
own. One of us as to be in bed with him when he falls asleep.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Start by moving him to a small bed at the foot of your bed or next to
your bed. Don't push him out of his mother's bed and into his own
room all at once.

Michelle
Flutist

--
In my heart. By my side.
Never apart. AP with Pride!
Katrina Marie (10/19/96)
Xander Ryan (09/22/98 - 02/23/99)
Gareth Xander (07/17/00) Zachary Mitchell
Theona Alexis (06/03/03) (01/12/94, fostered 09/05/01 - 07/23/03)

thank you michelle for your reply,

we actually did that for about 6 months. We are trying to make the
transition as smooth as possible for him.
The problem is that we tried talking to him, asking him questions to
know what would make the transition easier but for him it doesn't even
seem to be an option. Scolding is not an option either as this is
absolutely not his fault if he feels this way

B.

Michelle J. Haines wrote in message .. .
In article ,
says...
I know this has been discussed many times but I think my problem is a
little bit different than what has been said before.

My girlfriend is a single mum of a 7yo boy. She raised him on her own
since the day he wsa born. For different reasons, her son always slept
in her bed with her. We are now living together and trying to make
things more "normal". He has his own bedroom but he refuses to sleep
there on his own. He says that he's scared but at the same time I know
that he has a hard time to understand that I now get to sleep with his
mum and not him. There is a little bit of jealousy. I undertand why he
feels that way but I don't know how to help him understand.
We tried to talk to him about it but he still refuses to sleep on his
own. One of us as to be in bed with him when he falls asleep.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Start by moving him to a small bed at the foot of your bed or next to
your bed. Don't push him out of his mother's bed and into his own
room all at once.

Michelle
Flutist

"B." wrote in message
om...
I know this has been discussed many times but I think my problem is a
little bit different than what has been said before.

My girlfriend is a single mum of a 7yo boy. She raised him on her own
since the day he wsa born. For different reasons, her son always slept
in her bed with her. We are now living together and trying to make
things more "normal". He has his own bedroom but he refuses to sleep
there on his own. He says that he's scared but at the same time I know
that he has a hard time to understand that I now get to sleep with his
mum and not him. There is a little bit of jealousy. I undertand why he
feels that way but I don't know how to help him understand.
We tried to talk to him about it but he still refuses to sleep on his
own. One of us as to be in bed with him when he falls asleep.

I think you did it backwards. You should have had him move out of his bed
first for a few months, then moved in with mom. That's what you do when a
new infant takes a toddler's crib. That way, he won't associate the move
with being kicked out by the new stranger. The way you have it, not only
are you moving in on his turf, you've got his mom and his bed. I'd be
jealous, too. Could you stand to be a little patient and back off a little
so he can get used to the first two changes before you demand the bed? Or
maybe you could convince him to go to his room by not immediately slipping
in and taking his place. Have your own little bed. When he gets more
comfortable with the new situation, you could then get into bed with the
girlfriend. Personally, I wouldn't move in with the girlfriend unless she
was a wife, because it would be more stable for the kid that way. At
boyfriend/girlfriend stage, you can break up more easily, and that's
heartbreaking for a child, who didn't ask for any of it to begin with.

Michelle J. Haines wrote:

Start by moving him to a small bed at the foot of your bed or next to
your bed. Don't push him out of his mother's bed and into his own
room all at once.

that's crap, you just got close to this womyn and you need to be tapping that
ass. put him in the other room and let him CRY.

it will make him stronger.

i would also look into strong sedatives.