Ashamed of my temper...

L.A. wrote:

contain my anger and disgust over such a silly thing. Maybe it's the
hormones, (I'm just about 36 weeks). But I'm at my wit's end with my
stinky big boy, and dreading having two in diapers. Anyone have
advice?

Here's a great book:
_Mommy! I Have to Go Potty!: A Parent's Guide to Toilet Training_
by Jan Faull

But, and I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, I think you should
give up for awhile. Put him back in diapers, and please, stop with the
"dirty" comments - he's probably taking them personally, and it's
almost certainly making it tougher.

My daughter went through an early interest phase a couple of months
before her 2nd birthday, then she REFUSED to have anything to do with
it again until she was 3.25 years old, when SHE decided to do it
(probably because she wants to take dance lessons, and you have to be
potty trained to take the lessons).

Good luck.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

Sue wrote:

I was simply giving the OP another option. I'm not a fan of pushing potty
training, which if you have to have them naked that is what is happening and
I am not a fan of having them run around naked either (although all of them
at one point in time has run around naked, they loved it. No accidents
though). There happens to be more options with children than what you and
Monika do, you know. )

I think a lot of what you say makes sense, but I do disagree
(respectfully!) with that having them run naked was pushing. My
daughter DECIDED to use the potty at age 3.25, and we let her run
naked. As long as she was naked, she used the potty by herself, without
even bothering to tell us. She'd call if she pooped, though. She just
took care of it herself, and never had a single accident. Not once.
But if she was wearing any kind of clothes below the waist, she had
accidents. After the second or third time she pooped in her pants, I
said something like "Kivi, isn't it kind of a hassle when you poop in
your pants? It takes a lot more time to clean you up, than if you just
go in the potty." She thought about it for a moment then said "I'm
never going to poop in my pants again." And she didn't!! She
continues to have occasional pee accidents - again, only if clothed,
and usually only if she's outside playing (she HATES to come in to
pee).

The thing that got her over the wearing clothes hurdle was that I
instituted a reward - chocolate chips (she only got one chip, for
either pee or poop). After about a week or so, she mostly quit having
accidents in her clothes, and most of the time, she forgets to ask for
her treat. :-) At this point, she has pee accidents maybe 1-2 times
per week.

The part I had to work on, was letting her be in control. I just could
NOT make her go pee right before her nap - she REFUSED. SO I ended up
finally saying: Ok, Kivi, you don't have to go right now - but if you
wet during your nap, then you'll have to clean it up - I'll help you,
of course, but you'll have to do the work. She's never had a nap
accident. I ended up realizing that this kid is holding it throughout
the night most nights - she could certainly hold it for a couple of
hours during a nap.

Cathy Weeks

I agree. I'm not sure how you can be both laid back, and over protective,
at the same time.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- My Big Girl, who goes pee pee and poo poo on the
potty!
Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- The Standing Fool, who climbs to standing every
chance she gets!

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"Sue" wrote in message
...
"Mum of Two" wrote in message
I think my mother had a pretty laid back parenting style, if a little
overprotective.

Laid back and overprotective don't go hand in hand in my book. )
My mom was extremely overprotective and because of this, I adopted the
laid
back parenting style and I am not overprotective in the least.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"Sue" wrote in message
...
"Mum of Two" wrote in message
I think my mother had a pretty laid back parenting style, if a little
overprotective.

Laid back and overprotective don't go hand in hand in my book. )
My mom was extremely overprotective and because of this, I adopted the
laid
back parenting style and I am not overprotective in the least.

I probably didn't phrase that right, but I believe she did manage to be a
bit of both ;-)
She wasn't disciplinarian, had fairly liberal and 'modern' ideas on child
rearing at the time, and we had a lot of freedom around the house and garden
for messy play where some parents would have been hung up on damaging the
lawn or furnishings (a friend's father was like that).
But she did have some OTT hangups - I wasn't allowed a bicycle till age 10,
by which all natural co-ordination had passed me by, and as an RN just about
every injury necessitated a visit to the Dr. to see if we required a tetanus
booster shot.
I think I am a more laid back parent than she was in some respects, she
seems to have a thing about taking the buttons and eyes off _everything_
for DD, no matter how well attached they were! I let DD crawl around the
lounge and explore everything - ok, the first time she pulled a lullaby book
on her head, but she quickly got over it! I've taken the approach that if it
can't seriously hurt her and she can't seriously hurt it, go with it :-)

--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
barton . souto @ clear . net . nz
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/

I see what you are saying, and that does make sense to me. I also believe
in often letting babies and kids figure some stuff out on their own.
Gravity and the like. Luckily, they are only a few feet off the ground, so
it helps.
--

Jamie
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- My Big Girl, who goes pee pee and poo poo on the
potty!
Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- The Standing Fool, who climbs to standing every
chance she gets!

Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password:
Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

"Mum of Two" wrote in message
...
"Sue" wrote in message
...
"Mum of Two" wrote in message
I think my mother had a pretty laid back parenting style, if a little
overprotective.

Laid back and overprotective don't go hand in hand in my book. )
My mom was extremely overprotective and because of this, I adopted the
laid
back parenting style and I am not overprotective in the least.

I probably didn't phrase that right, but I believe she did manage to be a
bit of both ;-)
She wasn't disciplinarian, had fairly liberal and 'modern' ideas on child
rearing at the time, and we had a lot of freedom around the house and
garden for messy play where some parents would have been hung up on
damaging the lawn or furnishings (a friend's father was like that).
But she did have some OTT hangups - I wasn't allowed a bicycle till age
10, by which all natural co-ordination had passed me by, and as an RN just
about every injury necessitated a visit to the Dr. to see if we required a
tetanus booster shot.
I think I am a more laid back parent than she was in some respects, she
seems to have a thing about taking the buttons and eyes off _everything_
for DD, no matter how well attached they were! I let DD crawl around the
lounge and explore everything - ok, the first time she pulled a lullaby
book on her head, but she quickly got over it! I've taken the approach
that if it can't seriously hurt her and she can't seriously hurt it, go
with it :-)

--
Amy
Mum to Carlos born sleeping 20/11/02,
& Ana born screaming 30/06/04
barton . souto @ clear . net . nz
http://www.freewebs.com/carlos2002/
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ana%5Fj%5F2004/

Maybe he associates diapers with babies and maybe he feels that you're
focusing too much time with your unborn baby that he exhibits
regressive behavior to draw attention (however negative) to himself.
Don't forget, according to Freud, the anal stage is the stage of
control. He is using his control to grab your attention.

Please pay 5 cents to the cashier on your way out.

Regards...

L.A. wrote:
Hi all...

I don't know what to do about this, but I find I'm getting unreasonably
angry at 2yo DS who refuses to go to the potty. He had been doing very
well, but suddenly decided the potty is his enemy. We've tried moving
it into the living room because he doesn't like to be isolated in the
bathroom for any length of time. But now as soon as the word "potty"
comes up, he starts shouting "NO POTTY!" I don't know why the sudden
abhorance towards it. Anyway, every day I calmly ask him if he needs
to go poo in the potty. Every day he politely says "No, tank you
Mommy." Then he poos in his pants. I know he knows what the potty is
for...he's used it with success in the past. I know he knows his
body's signals, because he goes off by himself to dirty his diaper.
He'd just prefer to go in his pants. Ususally, DH just takes him in
the bathroom and cleans him up. But if I have to do it, I find myself
getting really mad at him. I end up speaking sharply to him, saying
"That's dirty...you're supposed to put it in the potty!" He gets upset
when I chastise him, and the whole thing is just a disaster. I know
it's not helping him move towards using the potty, but I can't seem to
contain my anger and disgust over such a silly thing. Maybe it's the
hormones, (I'm just about 36 weeks). But I'm at my wit's end with my
stinky big boy, and dreading having two in diapers. Anyone have
advice?

Thanks.
L.A.

Good old Freud, he was all about tit's bum's and arseholes wasn't he I'm
surprised to hear that he actually thought about anything other than sex.
But seriously that's a good point about the regressive behaviour due to the
amount of attention given to the baby. Thanks cause I am having similar
problems with my 3 year old, and this has put things a little more in
perspective.

Regards...Regards

Pip

[5c duly paid]

--
Abby - 3rd Feb 2005 at 32 weeks 3lb 14oz
Jasmine - 21st Mar 2002 at 35 weeks 4lb 12oz

--
wrote in message
ps.com...
Maybe he associates diapers with babies and maybe he feels that you're
focusing too much time with your unborn baby that he exhibits
regressive behavior to draw attention (however negative) to himself.
Don't forget, according to Freud, the anal stage is the stage of
control. He is using his control to grab your attention.

Please pay 5 cents to the cashier on your way out.

Regards...

"Mum of Two" wrote in message
I probably didn't phrase that right, but I believe she did manage to be a
bit of both ;-) She wasn't disciplinarian, had fairly liberal and 'modern'
ideas on child rearing at the time, and we had a lot of freedom around the
house and garden for messy play where some parents would have been hung up
on damaging the lawn or furnishings (a friend's father was like that).
But she did have some OTT hangups - I wasn't allowed a bicycle till age
10,
by which all natural co-ordination had passed me by, and as an RN just
about every injury necessitated a visit to the Dr. to see if we required a
tetanus booster shot.

I think I am a more laid back parent than she was in some respects, she
seems to have a thing about taking the buttons and eyes off _everything_
for DD, no matter how well attached they were! I let DD crawl around the
lounge and explore everything - ok, the first time she pulled a lullaby
book
on her head, but she quickly got over it! I've taken the approach that if
it
can't seriously hurt her and she can't seriously hurt it, go with it :-)

Ah, I see what you're saying. I tend to be in the camp of letting the kids
figure things out for themselves too, even if there could be an injury. My
mom was in the camp of hovering and never letting one try anything less
something "might" happen.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

In Dh1qe.6029$7s.512@fed1read01,
Circe wrote:

*Really, two in diapers is not nearly so awful as people seem to imagine. Two
*in diapers is, in my experience, infinitely easier than one in diapers and
*one who's theoretically trained but still needs constant reminders to use
*the toilet and has accidents frequently. I've done two in diapers twice and
*it really and truly was no big deal.

Heh. I also had 2 in diapers twice, and I have to say the worst part of it
is the first week of potty training the older one, for sure.

*When it comes to training later one, LA, you're way ahead of us. My 3y3m son
*is not the slightest bit interested in using the potty and has never even
**tried*. You are way ahead of the game in that your son does already know

Bummer.

I'm happy to report that with a 25 month and 27 month gap between the
kids, I have never had two in diapers for more than 8 months. Right now
I'm down to one in diapers for the forseeable future (barring wholly
unexpected weirdnesses!)...


--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx