two questions about age "milestones"

"shirley" wrote in message
news:f2qnc.11542$536.2213375@attbi_s03...
My 9 year olds (almost 9.5) are at not only separate classes but schools
and
sibling rivalry is a matter of life.

We are working hard to separate ours more -- E has taken up tae kwon do
again, which all three used to do, but unless they beg neither of the others
will be permitted to invade this choice. And of course three separate first
grade classes. And this summer I have them enrolled in three separate
swimming lessons even though they are all basically at the same level. I
*know* that separating them does help. But still the rivalry (in the form
of "what's he got that I didn't and what am I missing out on?") remains
thick around here. My mother sends them comics/magazines from time to time
and last Friday I gave each boy their favorite out of the package and then
watched in disbelief as they spent the next 15 minutes ignoring their own
but trying to shove their jealous noses into the *other's* magazine to see
what they were missing out on.


We try to get each involved in
something else but there is still the "STOP IT" yelled at an volume of 10
and "you are a worm" (their vocabulary doesn't grow much either), and many
other things.

Don't forget "I'm telling Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked at high pitch.


We usually say knock it off, but in a car or close together
they can either be their worst enemies or best friends.

Ain't that the truth -- one day they're punching each other in the back
seat, the next they are giggling over (terrible) knock knock jokes.


Bribing works but
not all the time.

Maybe I'm cheap, but mostly I rely on threats, not promises. :-)


Short of telling them "I don't want to hear that" and
using the arbitration table if the problem is huge, I believe it's just
being brothers and sisters.

I'm glad to hear someone else has been trying the "I don't want to hear
that" line. Mine frequently descends these days into "... so just go away",
too. Or time out to calm down in their rooms. Or anything else I can think
of that STOPS the noise FAST ....

I really hope it's all "normal" or I've got some maniacs on my hands. But
judging by the agreement on this ng I feel somewhat reassured that it must
be ok.


snip

Anyhow, they even pick up more fun things in school.

Another terrible truth. Since entering first grade / public school system I
just cannot *believe* the burp/f**t/snot garbage that has suddenly appeared
and gets recirculated at every meal (why only at mealtimes, btw???????).
Coupled with "you stink" or "your breath stinks" or "I don't want to sit
next to X, (s)he stinks" or .....

Maybe being one of three girls I was more sheltered than I realized!

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
and Holly (4/4/01)

Shirley

"multimom4" wrote in message
news:FNTnc.22513

Anyhow, they even pick up more fun things in school.

Another terrible truth. Since entering first grade / public school system
I
just cannot *believe* the burp/f**t/snot garbage that has suddenly
appeared
and gets recirculated at every meal (why only at mealtimes, btw???????).
Coupled with "you stink" or "your breath stinks" or "I don't want to sit
next to X, (s)he stinks" or .....

Maybe being one of three girls I was more sheltered than I realized!


Hey, Janet - I'm one of three girls, too.

As for the disgusting stuff that started coming up after they started
school, we simply remind them that they're welcome to talk like that any
time they like as long as they go to the bathroom to do so. That was all it
took to kill the fun.

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97

"multimom4" wrote in message
news:FNTnc.22513

Anyhow, they even pick up more fun things in school.

Another terrible truth. Since entering first grade / public school system
I
just cannot *believe* the burp/f**t/snot garbage that has suddenly
appeared
and gets recirculated at every meal (why only at mealtimes, btw???????).
Coupled with "you stink" or "your breath stinks" or "I don't want to sit
next to X, (s)he stinks" or .....

Maybe being one of three girls I was more sheltered than I realized!


Hey, Janet - I'm one of three girls, too.

As for the disgusting stuff that started coming up after they started
school, we simply remind them that they're welcome to talk like that any
time they like as long as they go to the bathroom to do so. That was all it
took to kill the fun.

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97

"multimom4" wrote in message
news:FNTnc.22513

Anyhow, they even pick up more fun things in school.

Another terrible truth. Since entering first grade / public school system
I
just cannot *believe* the burp/f**t/snot garbage that has suddenly
appeared
and gets recirculated at every meal (why only at mealtimes, btw???????).
Coupled with "you stink" or "your breath stinks" or "I don't want to sit
next to X, (s)he stinks" or .....

Maybe being one of three girls I was more sheltered than I realized!


Hey, Janet - I'm one of three girls, too.

As for the disgusting stuff that started coming up after they started
school, we simply remind them that they're welcome to talk like that any
time they like as long as they go to the bathroom to do so. That was all it
took to kill the fun.

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97

Andrea-- I'm glad to hear someone else is going through this with me. Like
you, I have one that is more physical and the other who is just meaner with the
things she says to her sister. My girls' hatefulness seems to be confined to
each other and me for the most part. I'm trying really hard to get "the mouth"
thing under control-- If they talk to me like this at four, the teen years
really scare me!! That has actually gotten a bit better since I've gotten
"tougher" on it. But, the hatefulness that goes on between them seems
neverending no matter what I do.

One-on-one time is tough around here also-- especially with Jenna added to the
mix. It makes me feel guilty sometimes, but then I think how it would be so
nice to have a sibling as an adult-- and just hope they understand and
appreciate my efforts someday...

-Cindy (mom to Ashlyn and Allyson 6/99 and Jenna 6/03)

In article ,
says...

Do I just have to
deal-- I was an only child so this is all new to me.

I'm right there with ya Cindy. My girls have been going at it with each
other too and lately they've added the "My picture/hair/doll/_____(fill in the
blank) is prettier than yours" etc., etc. It drives me up the wall!

Madison is more physical with the abuse to her sister and Jordan is more
verbal with it. Since I was an only child I don't know if it's just normal
sibling rivalry or if my kids are just hateful, horrible little creatures. :{
Their hatefulness seems to be confined to each other, which I'm thankful for.
At least they don't treat their friends that way.

I do time-out for the behavior all the time it seems like. I've also tried to
let them know how it makes the other one feel when they're mean to each other,
but that's not working either. I wish I could give them more one-on-one time,
but I don't have the opportunity to do that much. Sorry I'm not much help. I
just wanted to commiserate with you.

Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

Andrea-- I'm glad to hear someone else is going through this with me. Like
you, I have one that is more physical and the other who is just meaner with the
things she says to her sister. My girls' hatefulness seems to be confined to
each other and me for the most part. I'm trying really hard to get "the mouth"
thing under control-- If they talk to me like this at four, the teen years
really scare me!! That has actually gotten a bit better since I've gotten
"tougher" on it. But, the hatefulness that goes on between them seems
neverending no matter what I do.

One-on-one time is tough around here also-- especially with Jenna added to the
mix. It makes me feel guilty sometimes, but then I think how it would be so
nice to have a sibling as an adult-- and just hope they understand and
appreciate my efforts someday...

-Cindy (mom to Ashlyn and Allyson 6/99 and Jenna 6/03)

In article ,
says...

Do I just have to
deal-- I was an only child so this is all new to me.

I'm right there with ya Cindy. My girls have been going at it with each
other too and lately they've added the "My picture/hair/doll/_____(fill in the
blank) is prettier than yours" etc., etc. It drives me up the wall!

Madison is more physical with the abuse to her sister and Jordan is more
verbal with it. Since I was an only child I don't know if it's just normal
sibling rivalry or if my kids are just hateful, horrible little creatures. :{
Their hatefulness seems to be confined to each other, which I'm thankful for.
At least they don't treat their friends that way.

I do time-out for the behavior all the time it seems like. I've also tried to
let them know how it makes the other one feel when they're mean to each other,
but that's not working either. I wish I could give them more one-on-one time,
but I don't have the opportunity to do that much. Sorry I'm not much help. I
just wanted to commiserate with you.

Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

Andrea-- I'm glad to hear someone else is going through this with me. Like
you, I have one that is more physical and the other who is just meaner with the
things she says to her sister. My girls' hatefulness seems to be confined to
each other and me for the most part. I'm trying really hard to get "the mouth"
thing under control-- If they talk to me like this at four, the teen years
really scare me!! That has actually gotten a bit better since I've gotten
"tougher" on it. But, the hatefulness that goes on between them seems
neverending no matter what I do.

One-on-one time is tough around here also-- especially with Jenna added to the
mix. It makes me feel guilty sometimes, but then I think how it would be so
nice to have a sibling as an adult-- and just hope they understand and
appreciate my efforts someday...

-Cindy (mom to Ashlyn and Allyson 6/99 and Jenna 6/03)

In article ,
says...

Do I just have to
deal-- I was an only child so this is all new to me.

I'm right there with ya Cindy. My girls have been going at it with each
other too and lately they've added the "My picture/hair/doll/_____(fill in the
blank) is prettier than yours" etc., etc. It drives me up the wall!

Madison is more physical with the abuse to her sister and Jordan is more
verbal with it. Since I was an only child I don't know if it's just normal
sibling rivalry or if my kids are just hateful, horrible little creatures. :{
Their hatefulness seems to be confined to each other, which I'm thankful for.
At least they don't treat their friends that way.

I do time-out for the behavior all the time it seems like. I've also tried to
let them know how it makes the other one feel when they're mean to each other,
but that's not working either. I wish I could give them more one-on-one time,
but I don't have the opportunity to do that much. Sorry I'm not much help. I
just wanted to commiserate with you.

Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

As for the disgusting stuff that started coming up after they started
school, we simply remind them that they're welcome to talk like that any
time they like as long as they go to the bathroom to do so. That was all
it
took to kill the fun.

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97

One of my girlfriends here just told me about that yesterday -- I can't
**believe** I never thought of it. I think I see light approaching fast at
the end of this tunnel. :-) Heh heh.

Thanks!

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
Holly (4/4/01)

As for the disgusting stuff that started coming up after they started
school, we simply remind them that they're welcome to talk like that any
time they like as long as they go to the bathroom to do so. That was all
it
took to kill the fun.

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97

One of my girlfriends here just told me about that yesterday -- I can't
**believe** I never thought of it. I think I see light approaching fast at
the end of this tunnel. :-) Heh heh.

Thanks!

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
Holly (4/4/01)

As for the disgusting stuff that started coming up after they started
school, we simply remind them that they're welcome to talk like that any
time they like as long as they go to the bathroom to do so. That was all
it
took to kill the fun.

Julie
Mom to Erica & Chris, 07/97

One of my girlfriends here just told me about that yesterday -- I can't
**believe** I never thought of it. I think I see light approaching fast at
the end of this tunnel. :-) Heh heh.

Thanks!

--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
Holly (4/4/01)